I Am Divinity

Session 5

Channeled by John McCurdy during a live Zoom session on 6 December 2023

This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible. Note that Hmm, Mmm, and lines with just a dot signify places to pause, and to feel into what is being said.

Thank you to Chris Vandermeer for managing Zoom during the session, and for helping to prepare this transcript.

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John: Ok, welcome everybody!

Go ahead and play the music Chris, and let’s see where we go.

[music plays]

Master Anna: I am that I am!

Master Anna, of Magical Service!

[John chokes up a bit, because of the intense energies he’s feeling]

Here to do some magic with you. And to make John feel a little bit…

Ahh…

He wasn’t expecting the wave of energy and feeling that he just felt!

Ahh…

But here we are.

Indeed, I am John’s soul, John’s Master Self.

Mmm…

[a pause as John collects himself]

It’s a cold, snowy, gray day here in Slovenia, the kind of day that tends to make the human feel kind of small. Kind of useless, miserable, and all these things. Then you add a round of COVID onto that and, well, it’s been a rough couple of weeks for John.

A beautiful couple of weeks too! Oh, Romana had a beautiful performance, and that’s where they both caught COVID. And, well, here we are. The COVID is almost gone, but they’re still feeling kind of down.

As are so many of you! Oh, so many people on this journey right now.

Ahh…

Winter is here, for many of you. The days are short, the light is dim.

The earthly light, that is. Your light is brighter than ever!

Even if you have a hard time being aware of that, indeed, it is. And this is the time, this dark time, it is the time where you take that light so much deeper, and it becomes even brighter.

Hmm…

It seems strange that when everything feels dark—the world feels dark, there’s so much war and chaos and craziness in the world and in your lives—it seems strange that this would be a time for brightening your own light. But that is what you are doing.

Mmm…

You are becoming brighter and brighter. Even when you feel small, you are recognizing your grandness more and more, and letting it shine more and more.

So welcome, each one of you! Whether you are here live or listening later, your consciousness is here.

So, how have the past couple of weeks been for you?

Silvia?

Silvia: Incredibly quiet! Very quiet compared to what my human is.

My human is very active, very active, so these couple of weeks she’s been sitting. She’s been sitting because of, first, we want her energy to calm down, to calm down so we can bring more energy in her body.

Second, she needs to let it go. [laughter] She wants to be in control of everything, everything around her. She wants to be control of everything and manage everything. That’s the work that she’s been doing. Manager, manager of her own life and people around her, and activities and everything.

So she has been having pain, pain in her feet, both feet, so she cannot walk. So she can be quiet and down. [laughter]It’s very hard for her not to move. It’s very hard for her not to move, but she did a big effort.

She did a big effort because, most of the time she was sitting just watching TV, all day, just enjoying music or family or just doing nothing. Almost the two weeks, but yesterday she couldn’t wait no more and she just go out and start doing everything again!

So, she wants to move the energy. Energy is moving, even if she doesn’t move it, so it’s something that she needs to learn.

She’s having circulation problems on her ankles and the feet and the legs, so for that reason she cannot walk at the end of the day. At the beginning of the day she is okay, but she wants to do things immediately. Immediately, she wants to be active!

So that’s why we are trying to calm her energy down, because she has a lot of energy. And she realizes that she’s grand, even though I haven’t shown her that, but she knows I’m very grand. Because that was our homework, wasn’t it?

Master Anna:  Yes.

Silvia: But here we are. Changes started long time ago, and they are increasing this week. And they are increasing! The veils are going down.

Master Anna: Yes, indeed.

Silvia: People is going to start seeing what is happening in the world without their knowledge. The fun has started. It’s fun for us, as grandness, beings that we are, but not for the humans. It is scary. Very scary.

Master Anna: Yes.

Silvia: But, I want to congratulate all of you humans that decided to stay here on Earth, even with all these inconveniences like COVID, or like not walking, or like having problems here and there and everywhere, because you are shining your light!

As you mentioned before Master Anna, the bright light is there. Thanks to you and thanks to us, the job is being done.

Master Anna: Indeed it is.

Mmm…

Who else? How has the past couple of weeks been for you?

Chris: Go ahead, Monika. Come on, we want to hear you!

[laughter]

Monika: You want to hear a Swiss story? We have a lot of snow!

[laughter]

Yeah, it was snowing a lot last weekend. It was magic in the air, because on every leaf, on every little thing, was snow, and this has stayed for two days. And it was super calm and just beautiful, magical. Yeah, that’s a beauty. I love it!

Yeah, and how was it? In a way, unspectacular in in myself. Quiet in myself. I had, during my work or during these two weeks, a lot of situations popping up in me from this lifetime. Things I have never remembered anymore came up, little situations with people, with myself, and I could feel it very strong.

I could feel it as I would experience it in this moment. It was very realistic. I had a situation, I had to go to a doctor and he had to examine the blood, and I almost was falling numb when somebody took the blood, so that I felt totally ungrounded. And I had to say to sit in this practice another one and a half hour to find my ground again.

And I thought, what about this? But afterwards I realized I had to be there to shine my light. It was not about myself, because this is a big practice with a lot of different doctors. A lot of different stuff is going on there. And yeah, it was Monday morning, eight o’clock. So that was an interesting situation.

And yeah, I remembered myself all the time again, to feel into my grandness. It popped up again and again in me, just only a glimpse to feel in, or to make me aware of I am grand.

And in my human business life, everything was a bit upside down. I feel that I’m still fighting, that I’m in an old pattern to think about what to do to get the next step, or to earn more money, or to do this or that. It’s still the old wheel is running, and yeah, it’s different than other years. It’s super quiet.

Super quiet. And I have, this week, since Monday, no phone calls from a client. It’s just super quiet. I never have experienced that, not in 20 years beginning of December! But I still feel calm in myself, grounded in myself.

Here I am. Thank you.

Master Anna: Thank you!

Romana, do you have something?

Romana: I’m more quiet today, more tired.

I don’t know if you see me at all, because the darkness came in the room. Just a second, I’m going to turn on the light.

So, I’m actually feeling very different, in very different colors in this week. It was amazing an experience of performance. It felt like I accomplished something that I was dreaming about a long time, and I kind of manifested it, although through lots of fear.

But my reason why I do theater is because I feel like through the theater you can embody divinity in the presence of other people, and I felt this really happened. I really felt like my light was in my body. Especially at the end of the performance I felt how I’m shining, literally, and of course I was so afraid to do that!

So my human, my mind, was really resisting it really hard, but my soul just did what she needed to do. And that was, for me, what it was all about, so I felt happy after that.

And on the other hand I felt very tired, and my body got lost. The immune system was very bad, so I caught this virus. And in one way it feels like a good thing, because it just feels like cleansing so many things in my body, for not just now, but lifetimes.

So that’s how I am. Today I’m actually really good, because I feel much better. And finally I can feel peace, which was not such a common feeling this last few weeks. But today I feel so much peace within myself.

So I feel, “Wow, it’s so good to feel this deep relaxation and just be!”

So it’s good to be here in this place with all of you again.

Master Anna: Thank you for being here, it’s good to have you here!

Mmm…

How about you, Chris?

Chris: Well, I’ve been good. I’ve been really busy. I’ve been running around to the hospital getting my heart checked out. That turned out fine, kind of.

I think the main theme that I’ve been having lately is fully… Yeah, it’s like reclaiming my grandness, but it’s also reclaiming or taking full responsibility for my relationship with myself and my feelings of self-love.

So at night in particular, I have a couple of things that are really beautiful going on in my life: Pisac and being in Peru, I stepped into this new timeline and I just have really harmonious relationships, I’m surrounded by really great people, and I’m just so supported and guided.

I still have that uncertainty of the mind, like what’s coming next or where’s this going to come from, but I’m getting used to that and I feel like I’m stepping into my mastery in that part of life, which is beautiful.

There’s not so many stories around it, around lack and around what have you. So that’s really nice.

And I’m experiencing a really intimate and supportive and loving relationship with—at the moment it’s Yeshua, Mary Magdalene, Uriel, Michael and Raphael.

Like I’ve got them sort of coming in one after the other, and they’re getting me used to sitting with them on their own and just giving a really clear supportive guidance, because I’m finally stepping up to that. Because that’s kind of what I agreed to do in this life, but I’ve been avoiding it.

So I feel, yeah, I feel like life is good. There’s still the uncertainty, but I’m managing it. Or not managing it, accepting it.

And then I’m just allowing this divine flow and allowing the guidance from these dear friends to come in, and just to be a vessel for that. And the main thing that they’ve been working on me with is, how do I put it?

It’s really to do with self-love, but it’s not needing permission from anyone or anything to feel that total beauty within myself as a facet of creator. As God also.

I still had a habit from childhood, I think—I wasn’t really accepted by my family—subconsciously, just to look for that approval and to look for that feeling of love outside in situations, or whatever. It wasn’t so compulsive, but I wasn’t feeling grand and light in myself.

And at the moment, but at night, in particular, when I’m falling asleep, I just feel this immense—like I’m standing there with brothers and sisters and they’re just saying, “You are perfect the way you are, and you are absolutely free to love every part of yourself.”

You don’t need to change anything.

You don’t need to work on anything.

You are worthy of love. You are love itself.

And that’s been what’s coming through at night, in particular at the moment when I’m falling asleep, and it just feels so freeing to not be looking for anything, to not be doubting. You know, like, what have I done wrong? Nothing. Nothing!

And so that’s been settling in with me and I’m finding a sense of stillness and a sense of being very centered in myself as well. A lot of anxiety falling away. A lot of fears falling away. And yeah, just appreciation as well.

I’m finding myself living more and more in a feeling of gratitude.

I wouldn’t say I’m quite at the joy thing yet, a little bit, I feel joy, but I still have a lot of anxiety.

But I am noticing that my daily movements are filled just with gratitude, because there’s nothing else to focus on. The rest is sorted. The details are being handled. I just step forward and do what I need to do. And yeah, just deep gratitude, and having just so many amazing people in my life.

So that’s what I’m feeling at the moment. Thank you for letting me share.

Master Anna: Thank you!

Hmm…

The other day, John was feeling miserable and wondering why life is so challenging sometimes. Or at least feels challenging sometimes.

He remembered one of Adamus’s master stories, where the master had this farm and everything on the farm was beautiful and practically took care of itself. In a lot of ways it did take care of itself. And John was thinking about that, and he suddenly realized, “You know Adamus, that’s how it is in the near-earth realms. You can create anything like that there, and people often do when they’re in between lifetimes. But maybe that’s not so much how it is here!”

And, well, I laughed a little bit and said, “Well, but that’s how it could be here.”

That is what you are actually creating, this new reality where everything flows in a whole new way, where you can have a beautiful farm in the country or whatever you want, and it just takes care of itself.

Mmm…

But it’s such a different reality from what you are used to, and the transition is the rough part, because the human has such a hard time letting go of its perceptions of reality. Of its habits. Of what it expects from reality.

You look at the world around you and you understand it to behave in certain ways, and when it doesn’t, you panic. But that’s part of this transition, and it’s difficult for the human. It’s difficult for the mind because, well, the mind doesn’t know how to see into the new reality.

So you are having to feel your way, like walking through a dark tunnel. You’re having to feel your way through, and everything your eyes see, in a sense, is a lie.

In a sense, what your eyes see is just not real, because you are stepping into an entirely new reality. And what your eyes see, in a certain sense, is a projection of the old reality into this dark tunnel. And so what you see, what you think is real, isn’t actually real at all.

But you can’t yet see the new reality. Oh, you catch glimpses of it every now and then. You imagine it every now and then, only your mind’s imagination is usually pictures of the past projected into the future. But you are starting to let those go. You are starting to let in something new, something so new!

You have all, oh, in times between lifetimes you’ve been in the other realms. You know how to create things there. You know how to create whole realities for yourself! Sometimes you’ve created hell for yourself, other times you’ve created heaven, and everything in-between. You know how to create there! And then the urge would come and you’d pop back into another human body, and think this was real.

But now, you can begin to create just like you can in the near-earth realms. You can create a reality for yourself that actually blends in, to a certain extent, with this mass-consciousness human reality.

Oh, some people won’t be able to see it, or to see you, in a sense. Others will.

But it’s such a new reality! And it’s not created by projecting the past into the future, which is what you are used to.

It’s created by your soul, along with the human.

It’s something you discover, rather than imagining into being.

It’s still your imagination, in a sense, but it’s a whole new way of being, and you are indeed discovering it.

You are also discovering that it can be any kind of reality that you choose, but it’s not a choice at the mind level. It’s a much deeper choice, and there are a lot of reasons that the mind doesn’t fully comprehend for the things that you are creating along the way.

Mmm…

John wonders why he created COVID in his body, and other issues in his body. Well, you see, one of his driving desires in this lifetime has always been to figure things out. Oh, that’s not the right way to say it exactly, but to understand how things work. To understand…

Oh, back when he was first discovering himself, reading all these metaphysical books and learning about who he really is, he read about Transcendental Meditation. And it sounded really cool, at first, and then he realized that he didn’t want to do it that way. It felt like a drug to him, and he didn’t want to do it that way.

He wanted to do it, to make this transition, in full consciousness, and so he turned away from the fancy meditation things and all the altered-states-of-mind modalities and teachings. And he said, “I am going to do this in my everyday human consciousness, and I am going to find my way through this beautiful transition that I know I’m here for, without any tricks. Because if I can do that, then I can show other people how to do that also.

And so that’s what we’ve been doing, because that was my desire also, as his soul.

So, one of our desires was to take on some of these issues that are so common with people. And, contrary to what our dear friend Adamus might say about it, it wasn’t just for other people. It was because I wanted to understand how it works.       `.

Mmm…

So here we are, going through the last parts of this process and coming to understand how to  walk through this.

We’ve been through it before, and here we are again. And here you are, each one of you, doing something similar in your own way. Hopefully not as miserably as COVID has been, but in different ways. You are each going through the final phases of bringing in that new reality and discovering what it is.

Hmm…

You could say that’s why it’s so important to get in touch with your grandness at this point, because this new reality, oh, it responds so quickly and so deeply to you! If you are feeling small, it’s going to show you small. And if you are feeling grand, it’s going to show you a lot more grand.

Hmm…

John is seeing an image of a grand mirror. It shows this beautiful reflection of self, and everything around the self in the mirror is filled in, oh, almost according to your mood. Only it’s much deeper than that.

Mmm…

And you can look in this mirror and you can see yourself as small, dark, and with lots of darkness around you. Or you can look in this mirror and see the grandness and the beauty of nature all around you, and of life all around you. In either reality, it’s right there. It is available in every moment.

Which do you choose to look at, the grandness or the smallness?

Oh, sometimes things come up and you find yourself feeling small or afraid, and it came up because your soul, your dragon, brought it up for you to look at. But it’s not there for you to hold on to or to try to fix. It’s there to simply acknowledge, and then they say, “Ah, and even with that, I am so grand!” and then watch as the scene around you in this beautiful mirror begins to shift.

Mmm…

At some point—hm, John is checking to see if we’re saying this right—but at some point you are going to realize that the scene in that mirror is more you than what is happening around your human self. And that’s when your human reality will begin to shift even more. It has already shifted so much, but the human still holds onto it, to how it was, and now it’s time to start looking in this mirror.

Ask your soul, “Show me my grandness!” and then look in this mirror and see it.

And even when everything around your human looks dark and scary and dreary and painful even, come back to that image in the mirror of the grand life, the grand you.

Mmm…

Don’t believe your human eyes and your human senses, for they are truly not telling you the truth. They are showing you the illusion. They are showing you mass-consciousness.

Begin to look in this mirror and believe that. Believe your soul’s senses. Because your human eyes, your human senses, that is not reality. Not anymore.

For a long time that was reality, for the human. It was the only reality you had, or that you had any access to. But that is not your reality anymore.

That is your old reality. That is a reality that you can tap into any time you want to, but you can also tap into this new reality. This grand, new, beautiful reality. This graceful reality.

Mmm…

But you have to bring your attention there. You have to open up to it. You have to begin to believe it, to believe that more than what your human senses tell you. And then it will come more and more into your human reality.

Oh, that’s still not the right way to say that, but we don’t have a right way to say it. So feel what we mean.

The human reality is a shadow.

Ah, the words are so limited…

The human reality is slowly fading, especially for you, because this new reality is becoming so bright and so real for you, even though the human mind is still trying to hold on to that old reality.

Mmm…

Yes, there are things about that old reality that are falling away, things about your body that are falling away, that are changing dramatically. It is a death, in a sense. You have to die.

That’s built into the human system. You have to die. You have to let go of that system, for you wouldn’t want to be in it for too long. It would destroy you eventually.

So you have to die, and that is what you are doing right now, but in a whole different way. You are moving into this new reality that blends the worlds together.

In a sense, this is the bridge that you built as the realm workers. This is what Heaven’s Cross is all about, this blending together of the new reality with the old, coming to the point where you live in the new reality and you can still interact with the old reality, but you are no longer limited by it.

Mmm…

And that is the transition.

You wonder why your lives are a little bit rough here and there, why things don’t work the way you expect them to. Well, that’s why. It’s a new reality, and it doesn’t work that way anymore. It doesn’t work the way you are used to.

Oh, you can jump back into the old reality and try to push your way through it, but it’s going to hurt. Or you can look in this beautiful mirror and see yourself with this grand new reality all around you, and begin to believe that.

Mmm…

So, are there any questions or comments at this point?

Silvia: Yes, I do want to comment that I notice the transition, the old and the new. At the beginning it was hard to realize it, because is on a day to day basis. It’s like everyday life routine or everything, but the thing is, it’s not. It’s like another timeline where everything that you see around now is like I always wanted! People expressing as always I wanted! And I was like, “What? Really? Am I dreaming?”

Activities expressing like I always wanted, and then suddenly another timeline change where I was opposite of what I wanted. And I said, oh no! Oh, I think I changed timeline. I don’t want to have this experience. I like the other one better, so I switch again. I switch again, is where I am.

If you have a circle you are experiencing 360 degrees, and what you were having and what you want. But I noticed the switch and I go, “Oh, today! Oh, today is what I wanted! Yeah, happy! Everything is flowing easily!”

And then the next day, “Oh, I’m back to where I don’t want to be. What I did wrong?” And I just realized that it is happening because I’m adjusting. I’m choosing the best of the timelines.

That’s where I’m at. We are jumping from timeline to timeline to timeline, choosing the best of every timeline. But it’s so hard to see, because these are everyday activities. You see the same people, you see the same things around you. You see everything the same, but not. But it’s not really.

Master Anna: But not…

Indeed, that’s a beautiful way of saying it. Thank you!

Silvia: I do have any experiences to tell, but one at a time!

[laughter]

Chris:I think I’ve been feeling that as well, what you were just saying there with this reality not being real. Particularly over the last week that’s been such a deep sensation, and it’s really hard to put my finger on describing it whilst we’re in that transition. But I have had that feeling so clearly, where like this, this stuff that’s going on out here, isn’t going to be my primary place of operating.

And I think that’s why I’m dropping into deeper spaces of stillness, because I’m just letting go of all the attention to it. And I’m just moving into this internal space as well, and just remembering our multidimensionality at such a deeper level. Exactly how you said with Heaven’s Cross, that’s why it was there. And that’s what I’m feeling as well.

Like it’s so available, and yeah, I don’t have a whole lot more to say, but just that feeling of this place not being real, or not being fundamental, not being the primary place of sensing. And I think that’s why, you know, that the rest of the masters and the grander parts of myself, or the more expensive parts of myself, are becoming so prevalent, because I’m just realizing that I can let this do what it needs to do, to a certain extent.

Yeah, I’m just stepping into that. And that’s going to be New Earth, I guess. Right? Like that’s what we’re moving into more so. I don’t know, but I feel that as well. Yeah, a lot.

Master Anna: Yes.

We won’t try to define New Earth exactly, here, but yes. In a very real sense, it is.

Monika:I liked it very much with the mirror. It’s really a beauty in it. I can feel for myself that this—it’s easier for me to accept it when I’m not doing a lot in everyday life. Then I can accept that this truth for me, and feel it also. 

But when I’m in the work mode on a human level, and I have to decide stuff and do stuff every day, then this feels so real. And this feels so important that it is easy to lose the track again.

But I have chosen to be in this moment of my life, for the reason to probably recognize it, the truth, or what is not real in everything what I’m experiencing, if business or not, if decision or not. And there is at the moment, for sure still in certain parts, still struggling. And yeah, so the mirror is helpful for me. Thank you very much.

Master Anna: You’re welcome!

Chris:I also agree. The mirror is so beautiful. Just sitting and looking into that mirror, it’s so beautiful!

When I have time, I think I’ll go back to our recordings and get clips out of that, and maybe make something out of it, because it’s so helpful.

Monika:It was really like I see a new world in it. It was so colorful, and yeah, it’s not clear but it’s very lively. Thank you, John and Master Anna.

Master Anna: Mmm…

Romana?

Romana: I must admit that I didn’t hear the whole thing, because I just disappeared in such a deep peace within myself. And I just felt like I just followed this feeling, because I’ve been yearning for this feeling of peace for so many weeks now, because it was so busy that I was… Usually I’m very much a person who likes to be in expanded place of consciousness, and in this everyday human reality kind of blending both together, and in this last few weeks when everything was so busy, it was difficult for me to be in these expanded realities.

So now I’m slowly coming back to this feeling of being expanded, so I went really so far that I lost what you were saying. So I’m going to listen again later.

But thank you for creating this space when I could feel this expandedness again!

Master Anna: We thank you for being part of it!

Ahh…

Indeed, over the next couple of weeks, keep this mirror in mind.

Sometimes it’s difficult to see the grandness in your own life, because you are looking at the old reality. But maybe, if you can bring your attention to this mirror in your mind’s eye, in your imagination, that shows you with your grand new reality all around you, you can begin to allow this, to allow yourself to feel this as your true reality. And see what happens.

See what you discover as you allow yourself to walk through that reality.

Even if it feels like it’s only in your imagination, oh, that’s real.

Hmm…

So, we think we’ve said enough for this session.

So, once again, welcome home!

You see, this new reality, it is Home.

It is you. It is your soul.

Ah, feel the grandness there!

Hmm…

And we’ll see you again in a couple of weeks. 

And so it is.

[thank you’s and goodbyes are said]

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