A Headbander’s Guide to Opening Your Intuition

3. Knowing and Self Love

Channeled by John McCurdy during a live Zoom session on June 21, 2023

This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible. Note that Hmm, Mmm, and lines with just a dot signify places to pause, and to feel into what is being said.

Thank you to Chris Vandermeer for preparing this transcript!

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John:

Okay, so let’s get started. I don’t have a lot to say right at the moment, so let’s go ahead and play a little bit of music and breathe, and I’ll shift to Master John and we’ll see what happens today.

[music plays]

Master John:

Mmm…

I am that I am!

Master John of Magical Service.

Oh, so many energies gathering for this session!

The one you know as Mother Mary, the one you knew two thousand years ago as the mother of Yeshua, or Jesus as he’s known to most people. Ah, Mother Mary is here. She’s here so close for this session, and for this whole class, really. Yeshua is here also, and many others of the ones you call masters.

They are here partly to add their energies and their consciousness, and also because they are looking to you, to us, as the new masters, the masters who are going beyond any place they or anyone else has ever been: Bringing divinity here to Earth in a way that has never been done before!

Ahh…

So, welcome!

Welcome to session three. It’s actually our fourth session if you count that integration we did. We’re calling it session three—John is calling it session three—of A Headbander’s Guide to Opening Your Intuition.

Ahh…

All week long, John thought he knew what we were going to talk about today. He thought this would be where we talk about emotions, the difference between emotions and feelings, and how to tell the difference between the emotions that you feel and your intuition.

Well, only today I showed him how that’s really a mind game!

It’s really a mind game and you will never, ever, ever figure out in your mind how to tell the difference between an emotion and a feeling.

But as you open up to you, to your soul, to your knowing, to your I Am, you won’t need to figure it out anymore. You’ll simply know. And all of you have been experiencing that.

Hmm…

So, we’re asking John to breathe for a minute. So many energies swirling around.

Hmm…

Dear mind, all you have to do is translate. You know how to do that.

I ask you, each one, to feel into your soul. It’s here, right now. It’s not some other entity. It is not going to feel like a different entity. It’s you. It’s your own self. But it’s a different perspective, a whole different perspective, on life and on you and on yourself.

Mmm…

Soul has no judgments. It has no agendas.

You could say it has no desires, but that’s very confusing for the human and it’s not really accurate. It has no agendas.

It loves the experience. Whatever the experience is, your soul loves it. It relishes it.

And it knows of so many potentials that the human can’t even imagine yet, and it knows how to take you there, if you trust it. And that’s the thing.

Mmm…

To trust yourself.

Oh, you could say, we will say, that trusting your knowing, trusting yourself, is the greatest form of self-love there is.

But to trust yourself you have to accept yourself, just the way you are. That includes the mind, and it includes the emotions that come from the mind.

Emotions… The mind had to have some way to keep your attention. We gave it the job of distracting you from your soul. You gave it the job of distracting you from your soul, and it needed some way to keep your attention. So it learned how to imitate the feelings, how to generate physical sensations in your body. We call those emotions, but you know the difference. You already know it.

Soul comes in the gentleness. In the still, small knowing.

It’s not a voice. Sometimes it seems like a voice, but it’s the knowing.

Hmm…

We have one question that was sent in this week, so let’s begin with that. Romana will read it for us.

Romana: Yes. So the question is:

Regarding the great integration, lately I have felt that certain people in my life, or rather, the avatars I created of them, represent former lifetimes. So far it only seems to be about really challenging incarnations which, of course, are represented in the rather difficult relationships I have with those people.

One of them seems to be about my incarnation in Atlantis where I was thrown out of the temples, being made an outcast, when I refused to go along with developing the headbands. In my experience, those people hesitate to approach me when I’m in my garden. And actually, I’m a little afraid too. Could you please elaborate on this Master John? Thank you.

Master John: Indeed.

Hmm…

And yes, indeed, the people that come into your life do reflect the integrations that are happening within you. We don’t want to say that there is necessarily a one-to-one correlation between the people that come into your lives and your aspects from other lifetimes, but everybody and everything in your life right now is a reflection of this grand integration that is happening inside of you.

So in that sense, yes, there is some correlation there.

And yes, that lifetime in Atlantis was difficult. But there’s something we want to say about that, and that is that the work that was done with the headbands, oh, it was done over a very long period of time. It didn’t happen overnight.

It wasn’t something that a group of people got together and said, “Let’s make some headbands and conform the mind.” It was a long, gradual process, and so each one of you who was there had many lifetimes in that process. In some of those lifetimes you were against it, and in some of those lifetimes you were for it.

Hmm…

You asked the question, we all asked the question, Who am I?

And then we dove into this human experience in order to experience the answers, all of the answers, to that question, from all the different sides.

Right now, there are certain feelings that are coming up, because you are integrating so many different facets of you, so many different experiences of you.

Oh, in our Grand Integration experience, we talked about all of these other lifetimes coming forward and giving them a hug, and letting them integrate.

But another way to look at it is that it’s not just individual lifetimes that you are feeling right now. From another perspective, it’s experiences, or you could even say topics, that you’ve approached in many different times, and that are coming forward now for integration.

So John asks, “Why does this body stuff keep going on and on?” Well, there are a lot of different lifetimes that have dealt with this topic, so those facets of those lifetimes are coming forward now. And those lifetimes also have other facets that may come forward at a different time, with different circumstances and with different feelings.

So right now many of you are dealing with this feeling of rejection, because you disagreed with whether we should have done the headbands or not, and so those feelings of rejection, of being outcast, are coming forward and are being reflected by lots of different things in your life.

Hmm…

But there is still the other side. Maybe those feelings that come up with the other side of that question have already been integrated, or maybe they’ll come up another time in another way. But right now this is what’s up, so this is the lifetime you remember, out of many.

So, it’s important to keep that in mind. You lived out both sides of that question, and you have feelings from both sides. And right now, this is the one in front of you.

Mmm…

And indeed, the people in your life that are reflecting the anger and generally making trouble for you are not your other lifetimes, but they do have a reflection of that. But the point is, what they are reflecting are the parts of you that want to come home.

Yes, there is fear. They are afraid because they were outcast not just by the others, but by other facets of you. So they are afraid to come home. And sometimes you are afraid to let them come home, because there is so much human judgment.

Mmm…

So, this brings us back to our topic for today:

How much are you willing to love yourself?

How much are you willing to love ALL of yourself?

Can you love and accept those angry parts of you?

Can you love and accept those parts of you that were outcast, that were judged and punished?

Can you love and accept those parts of you, those very real parts of you, that did the judging and the punishing?

Hmm…

They are all there.

They are all in that line of aspects, of facets of you, coming home and asking for your love, for your acceptance.

Not your approval, for that’s just a judgment, but for your love. For you to own them as a part of you, as a beautiful part of you that had a very intense experience and really needs a hug.

And that’s all.

It doesn’t need you to approve of what happened. It just needs a hug.

Hmm…

So let’s pause here for a little bit. Are there any questions or comments or feelings that want to be shared here?

This class is not just about me. It’s about all of you, too. Your souls are all here, all of you, including the ones watching and reading later. You are all putting your energy and your consciousness into this, so please share if something is coming up.

[pause to wait for questions]

Romana?

[John reminds people to raise their hands or unmute to speak]

Romana, go ahead.

Romana: [edited for clarity, with Romana’s approval] Well, I would maybe just like to continue this conversation about these different aspects of, different experiences of, being an outcast and being, you know, all this anger and all these things connected with the headbands. I feel like this maybe started somewhere, but it was continuing in other stories of our lifetimes, in different systems, different societies, different religions.

I believe that this class is not just about intuition, but it’s about headbanders. And as headbanders, if we were part of that, I feel like we were one of those people or angels who always kind of had this feeling of not really belonging anywhere, of not really belonging among humans, because we were always seeing more, and then in a way we were feeling—as I feel for myself, as I remember lots of times—feeling like a total outcast. And in another way, feeling like some people looked at me as something special. So it’s these different perspectives, but never really being normal, or fitting.

So, all this was so much showing for me this week, where it was coming really intensely. All these perspectives, all these feelings in the body. And sometimes this feeling of being outcast is so strong and so intense in the body, almost like I feel totally shut down.

Shut down in a way of not really having the courage to express myself or my creativity, or just feeling, almost shaking in my body, and so vulnerable. For example, when I wanted to announce another retreat with a friend. And part of me was totally devastated, like suddenly I feel so insecure, so much insecurity coming up.

So, I don’t really have a question or some wisdom to share, just maybe how I felt this week. And it’s something I’ve been dealing with all my life, this feeling like an outcast in so many ways and being judged for who I am and who I am not.

And also, I have different feelings about these headbands. Part of me is totally angry that this happened, and angry at the people who invented these headbands. On the other hand, I kind of have also this awareness, as you said before, that there is also part of me who can relate to this whole invention, and to being one of those ‘banders.’

And right now it doesn’t really matter who we are and who we were, but there’s just so much coming up, and this week it feels so important to just be in this place of just being, of just neutralizing all these intense places. And then something really amazing, a magical rebirthing, happens in this acceptance.

So, thank you for listening.

Master John: Indeed.

Mmm…

We would say that this feeling of being outcast, even the whole concept of being outcast or of casting people out, oh, it began long before Earth. It began in the angelic realms with the angelic families, as they sorted themselves into groups and pulled away from the others that didn’t feel the same. It’s one of the reasons Earth was created, to try to sort out how all this works.

And indeed, as you said, the stories from the past are not important, except as they help us to feel what is happening and to love and accept self. Even those parts of self. Even what we might call the worst parts of self, when they come up. To love and accept those parts of us.

Mmm…

Then, in that embrace of all of self, of all of these experiences, the light ones and the dark ones, the pleasant ones and the painful ones, the difficult ones, in the embrace of that part of self is where we find our soul. And that is where we find our intuition.

It is where we find Self, and magic and grace and all those beautiful things.

Hmm…

Anyone else?

[two participants unmute at the same time without seeing each other and John helps organize them]

Participant 1: I don’t know if it’s relevant now but, about outcast, I feel the more I go into my realization, the less I feel like expressing myself.

Before, I was writing a lot. I wrote a book. I went on social media a lot. And now I feel like maybe it’s a little preponderous, but people don’t understand what we are doing. Less and less, the more we go farther. And so it’s like when Kuthumi said, “Don’t spill the curry.” I mean, I don’t feel like expressing, more and more. I just have to do it and stay in my feelings, and it’s good about that in fact, so I don’t feel an outcast anymore and I can just shine my light and that’s fine.

And at the same time it’s funny, because you said that Yeshua was here and Mother Mary, and I just watched the series, maybe you heard of it, the series The Chosen, which is a series now. It’s an amazing story.

They began to make a series about the life of Jesus. Not Yeshua, but Jesus, and it’s very beautiful, very, very beautiful. And they couldn’t find people to pay for them so they made a crowd funding, and it was an enormous success and they could begin to really make it.

And I can see in the series they were so outcast too, and they were so brave, so bold, to express themselves. Because for us, if we express ourselves, it has no consequence. People think we are crazy and that’s it. But their life was at stake, and they were so bold.

So I just wanted to say hello, and thank you to them because they were so… Really, okay, it’s a lot of stuff I speak about, a lot of things, but okay, it comes like that…

Master John: Yes, thank you. And we’ll say that your experience of not feeling like expressing very much these days, is very normal. Pretty much all of us are feeling that.

It’s like you said, most humans have no idea what we are talking about. They know what we’re doing on some level, but at the human level they don’t, so we have very little that we care to say to them. And that’s normal.

So, who else?

Participant 2: Hi everybody. I share this feeling too, about not having to speak a lot with people.

Because mostly, as you said, they don’t understand what I feel and what I go through. And it makes me kind of lonely these days, sometimes. Because sometimes I feel I’m alone in this, but I must say that then I realize that everything is okay, and then I meet people with whom I can talk about these things and I’m grateful that this class is here.

Being an outcast is not easy at all, but if it’s any help to anybody, I must say I find my faith and my strength when I go to the nature. Nature always shows me the way, so these days I really turn to nature. And that makes me comfortable to live through the times I have in this body I have now. So this is what I wanted to tell you. Thank you.

Master John: Thank you.

Participant 3: Can I speak now?

Master John: Yes.

Participant 3: I would like to ask about these aspects. I think you said that they can come through, like with the other people what we are, actually these avatars, that they are our energies, that they come through also past lives—some, you know, things that happen, that they are actually from there, you know, the relationships sometimes.

And also this, that they’re—actually, most of this life I’ve been just kind of taking care of other people almost all the time, and still doing it (laughing). But at least I have learned to make more [inaudible], you know, and take time myself, at least a little, but still, there is still going on. But I’m sure that it will change also when integrate more and my light body, or actually myself, you know, my soul. And this time, this two weeks time when has been this course, actually, I started to trust myself more that it’s really my divinity that is also talking to me.

Actually it’s been all the time, but just I didn’t trust myself. And then I trust.

So, [garbled] I wanted to ask about this, that if this aspect can come through the other people that we interact with, like in past lives, our past lives.  So that’s all. Thank you.

Master John: If they can come through the people that you interact with?

Participant 3: Yes, in some situations, that it’s actually that that they are bringing.

Master John: Well, these other people, these avatars…

Participant 3:Isn’t it our energy anyway?

Master John: Yes, indeed. And certainly they can reflect other aspects of you.

Participant 3: Oh, okay. But not all.

Master John: Yes. We would hesitate to make too strong a mental correlation between, you know, “this person is my other lifetime” or something like that. Because they are a unique, individual, sovereign being. But they do, and especially their energy as it comes into your life through your creation, through your avatar, it’s going to reflect issues that are wanting to be brought home.

Participant 3: Okay. Yes, thank you.

Master John: Does that answer your question?

Participant 3: Yes, thank you.

Master John:  Who else?

Participant 4: Hello John, this is going to be me. I didn’t want to talk because I realized that it’s my mind talking.

Master John: It is always the mind that is talking. Even here with John, it’s the mind who is translating all of this into words. So don’t fight the mind talking, and it’s okay for the mind to have its questions. And go ahead.

Participant 4: Well, this week has been intense!

Master John: Indeed it has.

Participant 4: I feel like I am in a [inaudible] that I need to take a decision where to go, this way or that way. But at the same time I don’t want to take that decision, because I feel I’m not ready for that. So, is that okay to stay there?

Master John: Absolutely. It’s all okay. But how do you feel in your heart, in your body, about that choice?

You can’t get it wrong.

Participant 4: I feel so many aspects. For some reason, I don’t feel myself. And for the same reason, I think it’s not the moment to take a path. So that’s why I just wanted to stay there and feel what I am feeling.

Master John: Indeed, and it’s perfectly okay to stay there until you feel the clarity.

But when you say, “I feel all these aspects so I can’t feel myself,” we would invite you to look at that a little bit different. Because all of these aspects, they are you.

Participant 4: Totally.

[inaudible]

Master John: Say that again?

Participant 4: That’s what I was thinking. Yes, they are me. Different feelings, different emotions, different encounters.

Master John: Indeed, and oh, they’ve been cast out for so long. So many of them have felt cast out, because you cast them out. Now they just want to come home.

It’s easy to think, “Oh, I have to deal with all of these aspects,” and you end up starting a battle with the aspects. And that goes nowhere.

That just keeps them out there feeling confused and rejected, and it keeps you confused. So instead, welcome them. Welcome them into your heart and into your experience.

They are not going to take over. They will if you try to push them out. They’ll make you crazy! But if you let them come home your soul takes them. Your soul integrates them.

Your soul is you.

They come home and they add their gift, their gold, their wisdom, to you. And then your clarity will come.

Participant 4: And I did realize that’s all that I need. Just a hug.

Master John: Yes, that’s all they need. Because in that hug you’re telling them that they are welcome home now. They are not outcast anymore. They are welcome.

Participant 4: Thank you.

Master John: Indeed.

[pause while John breathes]

Mmm…

Indeed, Mother Mary is right here. She is weeping for joy, because this is such a beautiful thing that you are all doing, that we are all doing: Letting ourselves come home. Giving our self a hug.

Hmm…

For every feeling that comes in, give yourself a hug.

It’s a part of you.

It just wants to come home.

That’s all it needs.

Mmm…

And once you do that, once you allow this process to unfold, you will find at some point that there simply are not any more questions about what the intuition is, or how to find your intuition.

It will just be there, because you are there.

All of these aspects are your soul, every single one of them. They are you. They are your soul.

You wouldn’t push your soul out and make it stay away. Well, you kind of did for a long time, but that’s over now.

So these aspects of you, they are a facet of you, of your soul.

And every one that comes home adds a piece, a big piece, to you. To your intuition. To your experience of your soul.

Hmm…

Yeshua is standing nearby also, and he’s got a big smile on his face. He’s saying, “I wish I knew all this in my lifetime!” But there wasn’t the consciousness available on Earth at that time. Now it is.

Now here we are, and divinity is waking up. It’s lighting up inside of us.

In all the space between the space, it’s lighting up.

Hmm…

All of us is coming home.

All of self is coming home.

.

Is there anything else?

.

Feel the energies.

We think you’ve all been feeling them in the past week, swirling around with all of this integration that’s happening.

Mmm…

It’s intense.

It’s difficult for the human.

The human needs a hug too, so hug it a lot.

[John wraps his arms around himself]

Hmm…

It’s an incredible thing we’re doing. A beautiful, amazing thing that’s never been done before. Not like this.

Hmm…

If you feel drawn to it, we would encourage you to listen to that experience again. The integration experience.

And right now, let’s take a few moments and just feel.

Hmm…

Feel.

Feel as your soul. It’s right here.

Mind goes, “I don’t know how to do that.”

Hmm…

Just be still, mind. Just let it happen.

.

Look around at life through your soul’s eyes.

Oh, this incredible life all around you!

That too is your soul.

It’s you.

.

Reach out your arms in your imagination.

Oh, they’re plenty long in your imagination.

Reach them out.

Wrap them around, oh, all of your life.

All of this reality that you perceive, let your arms extend around all of it.

Give it a hug. It’s you.

It’s all you, and it is all coming home.

Mmm…

But it’s coming home in a new way.

In the past, in order for it to finally come home, you could say it had to collapse down inside of you.

Or inside of the master that suddenly found themselves an ascended master.

You could say that’s what they did. They finally saw the truth of things and all of this reality collapsed down, back into its source. Which was themselves, their own essence.

But now, it can all blend together.

You can look at your reality through your soul’s eyes and see its beauty, and you can expand a little bit more and find that your soul’s eyes are looking back at you through that reality.

And you can play in it, in full consciousness.

Hmm…

Oh, you’ll still forget. That’s part of being human.

You’ll find yourself collapsed back down into this little dot of this little human being within your reality.

You’ll feel what it feels, you’ll experience what it’s experiencing, and then you’ll remember.

You’ll open your awareness back up and realize, “Ah, that’s just a little dot within me. And there is all of this other reality, and it is all me.”

Ahh…

In the coming week, allow yourself to feel that.

Allow yourself to look back at you, the human, through the eyes of the whole you, of all that you are.

Hmm….

John’s mind wants to add some definition to that.

We understand, but we are going to stop right there and let you just be with that for the coming week.

See where it takes you.

Hmm…

And so it is, and we’ll see you next week!

Ahh…

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