I Am Divinity
Session 10 — 14 January 2024
Here are the video and audio recordings and the text transcript of this session. Enjoy!
I Am Divinity
Channeled by John McCurdy during a live Zoom session on 14 January 2024
This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible. Note that Hmm, Mmm, and lines with just a dot signify places to pause, and to feel into what is being said.
Thank you to Chris Vandermeer for managing Zoom during the session, and for helping to prepare this transcript.
John: So, welcome everybody!
And I guess let’s just dive in.
Chris, if you want to play the music, and we’ll find out where we are going to go today.
Master Anna: I am that I am!
And, I am divinity!
Welcome everyone! I am Master Anna, Master John, John’s Soul, here speaking through John and as John. All one and the same.
John is still getting used to that. It makes it easier for him to think of me—even though he knows better—to think of me as this personality that comes through. But I’m just John’s soul! I am who he is.
I am his divinity and his human, combined together. Blended together.
Oh, you could say, after this incredible journey of experience, of discovering the answer to, “Who am I?” I am that I am.
So, we had this beautiful experience last time. At the end we asked the question, what are you willing to let go of in order to be free?
It doesn’t mean you have to throw it out of your life, but you kind of have to be willing to, in order to be free. So let it go.
So, how has your two weeks been?
For John it’s been kind of crazy, and good too. But lots of moving energies, so much that it made him dizzy for a few days.
So how about you? How have been your two weeks?
Silvia: The first days of the first week I have an integration, one of my aspects, and I didn’t realize it at the beginning, until later.
I think it’s good. It’s good. One more to go, or many more to go. Oh, I hope I’m done! And me, I am still working on my basement as a project right now, for my mind. My family project. And working with the taxes also, still doing them and trying not to fight them.
I was watching one of the Creator Series and I realized that I have to accept everything, so I’m accepting that. So that’s why I’m not fighting it.
[Note: The Creator Series is available in the library at crimsoncircle.com.]
Master Anna: Ahh…
Silvia:And the other thing is that I have noticed… As a human, I noticed that my body is getting swollen, and I was thinking, oh my God, something is wrong! What’s happening with me? [laughter]
Well, so I just decided to do a… What is it called? I don’t have the word right now, but I decided not to eat.
Master Anna: To fast.
Silvia: So I’m not eating. I’m not eating now, because I want my body to reset itself. I want my body to clean itself.
And I discovered a lot of things while I am doing that! So right now, this is my 10th day, and I realized that I really don’t need food. I feel ok. I feel energetic. I feel ENERGETIC. But people around me is worried, because it’s not normal not to eat.
But I’m feeling ok, and I feel happy because I’m releasing. I feel that I’m releasing a lot. So I feel more lighter.
And actually, I was thinking about what I’m going to do with this—a lot of weight that I have, and then suddenly I hear my soul telling me twenty days, that I need to do it for twenty days. So I’m not worried about it, because I’m guided. I’m being guided.
And I feel ok! I’m cooking, and I don’t feel hungry. I’m doing my chores, I’m energetic, so it’s like really I don’t need to eat. So, I want to try to do the twenty days and see how it’s going from there. Because soul really doesn’t need food.
Master Anna: No, it doesn’t.
Silvia: But the body does. But right now I need to clear the body so the organs can start working properly again.
Master Anna: Yes, and so they can go through the changes that they’re going through.
Silvia: And I’m feeling more my intuition.
Master Anna: Yes.
Silvia: And I still have a lot of doubts in my mind as a human. It’s normal. All humans, we do have it. But I feel more my intuition, my connection, and I am realizing a lot of things, that everyone outside is looking for their divinity, and so am I. So I’m just learning to start looking inside me.
Actually, it’s not learning. I’ve been doing this for a long, long time!
Master Anna: Indeed!
Silvia: But I’m doing that consciously.
Master Ann: Yes. Thank you.
Monika:I heard in me, three days before the last session, “We let go of the old way of living. We let go the old lives.” And the next day was my birthday.
A day later I felt like I’m getting ill, like a flu, and on Wednesday when our session was, I was not able to get up anymore from my bed. I felt so ill and so weak. But I did this cleansing in a day, Silvia!
I went from hundred to zero in one day, so that in the evening I had to go to the doctor and they had to nurture me over my veins, because I have let go everything in one day.
It was very intense, and I felt very grateful to experience this, even if it was not everything very comfortable in my body. And since then, your session confirmed what I was experiencing. It was just magical and a gift to me.
Since then, I’m very calm in me. My daily work is going on, but it has not the importance anymore, so much. It’s just running, but I’m more fully here. And this is, yeah, it’s difficult to describe it in words. When I feel inside of me, I hear all the time, “I am free.”
And today I had again the feeling I catch a new flu today, and it’s not, it’s just letting go more of my old life.
And this session, the presence of all of you, is helping me a lot to go through this. And I feel just gratefulness, and also a big joy.
And today is Valentine, and I would like to introduce you to my Valentine today. [Monika shows us a pink stuffed dragon.] It’s a pink little dragon.
Master Anna: Ahh…
Chris: It looks like an axolotl, those little sea creatures, those water creatures. I love it!
Silvia: It’s a beautiful dragon!
Monika: It’s cute, and it’s bringing humor to me, and it’s helping me to go through all of this and to let go this old crap and this old life and this… Yeah, I’m curious and hungry to be new, to be unknown new. Thank you very much.
Master Anna: Ah, thank you! And Happy Valentine’s Day to everybody!
Monika: Same to you!
Master Anna: Who else?
Chris: I don’t have much. Romana, do you have lots to share? You’re muted, I don’t have too much.
Silvia: Come on, Chris!
Chris: All right, “Come on, Chris!”
Romana: Come on, Chris!
Chris: Well, have you guys had this… I’ve been dreaming so much of, well, for me it’s back in Australia. But my dreams the past couple of weeks, when we talk about letting go of the old, I’ve been back with high school people. I’ve been back with primary school people.
I had a really intense lucid dream in my first childhood bedroom, where I was in there with my divinity and I wasn’t even on a bed or anything. I was just on the floor. It was almost like I had set myself up a little ritual space and there was some patterns from my father.
I have a very… Or I had, he’s more gentle now, but I had a very aggressive father and I was in there as a—whatever, I think I’m 29 now—year old, sitting there, and the energy of my father was in ther,e and then my divinity was coming in and one of my friends was there with me and we were like, “Right, this is done! Everything that happened here is done! It doesn’t matter what happened. It doesn’t matter what didn’t happen. We’re lighting it all up!” And I just had these infusions of light pummeled into my head.
But that’s definitely a theme for me over the past couple of weeks, is I’m dreaming all of these old connections, all of these old relationships. I hope I don’t have to re-experience them in the physical. Not that they’re particularly traumatizing, but they’re definitely old, not so interesting.
So, yeah, that happened, and then I guess I’ve had multiple other things happening. It was quite overwhelming to be honest, but I think the main one was this… I was being ground down into a deeper level of trust and faith.
I had enough trust and faith to head over to Peru, just off the visions and the guidance, which was fine. But what happened, basically, is before I left Australia, I had a sizable amount of tax debt. I’m talking like _____ thousand dollars, and I didn’t have the money to pay it.
And so I went into it and I thought, ok, I’m supposed to go to Peru. That’s fine. If I’m not supposed to worry about the tax at all, I’ll just leave it. I’m not going to give it any attention. But if it comes back, and it’s actually a knowingness, then I’m going to have to go into that with bravery, you know. So I’ve left it for the 14 or 16 months that I’ve been here, and then I started getting the constant nudge, “Chris, you need to deal with this. You need to go look into this.”
So my mind was going bonkers, because I didn’t have the money to pay it and I’m thinking, wow, what do I do? Because if I don’t get it sorted, it could potentially become a criminal thing, like tax evasion. You know, it’s not necessarily so small. And I was just watching the mind go through it.
And then, you know, my residency became void, I was going through a breakup with my partner—we’re together now, but we were going through a breakup—and it was all just, like, being dissolved!
And I’m just watching my mind and my ego go… And I went through, ok, it’s serving me, what must I believe in order for this to be an issue? The residency, potentially being kicked out, if I get kicked out I have to go back to a country where I have tax debt, and what’s the answer to that? Because I can’t sit here in fear all day, but I was quite overwhelmed!
And then it just came down to this really gentle feeling of faith, where that’s the only thing that makes sense.
It’s not naivety, because I’m not running from anything. You know, if I need to face the tax, I’m going to go into it and I don’t need to know how it’s going to sort out. Maybe it doesn’t sort out very good from the human’s perspective but, like… You know what I mean?
There’s a lot of things going on, but it was really beautiful because I arrived at, like, a logical answer of faith and trust. And then you can just sit in that, and be in that, and it doesn’t really matter how stormy the skies get. Like, that’s the answer.
And yeah, anyway, the residency is being sorted, and I’m sure everything will be fine.
But yeah, that was a little bit of my two weeks. It was quite intense. It was quite overwhelming at times, and I’m also having a lot of body pains as well. John and Romana are talking about nausea and dizziness and I’m definitely having that, and yeah, waking up with some pretty intense pains in the body. But that’s my two weeks. Thank you.
Master Anna: Thank you!
Silvia: I would like to make a comment for Chris, can I?
Silvia: About the taxes. I am in this similar situation. I owe like _____ thousand dollars, and that’s why I was fighting, because I know we don’t owe anything to them. They’ve been stealing from us, so that’s why I was fighting it. But I realized, ok, the experience is here, it means that I decided to play the game. Well, let’s play it. So what I did is just, instead of paying all the amount because I had the money to pay it… I didn’t want to do it, so I decided to use that money to build my basement.
And I just did arrangement for payments. They are on the website of the IRS, so I’m just payments every month until it vanishes, because I know it’s going to. It’s going to vanish.
So that’s my experience. So if that helps you to do arrangements, also so you don’t have that… Because the interest keep going and going and going, and that’s scary! So for doing that arrangement, I’ll end up paying _____ more, so kind of crazy, but that’s a human experience that I am living too.
Chris: Definitely, I appreciate it. Yeah, I’ll probably end up with something along those lines. But yeah, we’ll see. Thank you, Silvia, I appreciate it.
Master Anna: Mmm…
Romana: Ok, that’s me.
Now I’m thinking what to say, because two weeks seems like two years. Every day so much happens!
But what is the main thing? I don’t know when it’s started exactly, after this session we had or some… The time lines are kind of confused in my head right now, but it feels like these last times I feel so much lighter. I feel like I can really start feeling this new life, this new me coming in, and I have this… Sometimes it comes in knowingness or just in kind of a vision, or a feeling or sensation in the body.
It just feels like this feeling of me as a soul, me as a light body, me as this somebody who really is not bound with what my human thinks. And it’s kind of even more… It feels like this contrast when I come back in the body, and these old aspects of me, kind of gets in my consciousness again.
But I’m kind of seeing them more and more as a mother who is just observing the children who don’t really know who they are, you know. And so I’m really starting to feel so much more expanded, and so much lighter in a way. Although the situations…
I mean, I’m in several things around my life that are very uncertain right now. Even this place that we live now, it feels like, suddenly uncertain that we might have to move. And the day after tomorrow we are putting—my friend, this painter—we are putting another book into print, and we still don’t have assurance that we are actually going to get money for the print. Because we asked for some sponsorship and they said kind of yes, but suddenly there’s no voice from these people. So…
But I just know, like, I just know to do what I need to do, and it feels… Although there is lots of insecurity in this 3D dimension, or kind of real dimension, I just live like there are none, in a way, and I kind of let go of… You know, you asked, what do we let go? What am I willing to let go and to be free? And certainly this fear and worries are something I am really letting go.
And as you said, Chris, you know, like, just observing how my body is totally freaked out, but I know it’s not real. It’s just something that my body is so used to from past lives, to be insecure in this body, to be so insecure in this human reality, and suddenly this is just not my reality anymore. And yeah, it’s just kind of really a wonderful feeling!
It’s almost like watching a comedy and this hero in the comedy is getting into really much trouble, but I know it’s just a movie—something like that—and everything will be good at the end. Because I already see the end, you know, like I already see that all these things will kind of, mmm…
Ok, I could talk for hours, but I would leave now John and Master Anna to take over. [laughter]
Master Anna: Thank you.
Such an amazing time to be here!
The human rolls its eyes. Ha! John rolls his eyes. “Yeah, it’s amazing all right. Look how crazy it is!”
But in truth, what you are doing is so amazing!
Silvia, you said you brought an aspect home in the last two weeks, or something like that. Well, you didn’t notice all the thousands and thousands of others that slipped in with it!
And there’s so, so many aspects coming home right now! Most of them you’re not aware of, and you shouldn’t be aware of, because it would be too much for the human. But for every one that you struggle with, there is a whole bunch more that come in with it, that come home along with it.
And then you wonder why life is a little crazy?
John was so surprised when he woke up Saturday morning, a little over a week ago, and he almost fell down when he got out of bed because he was dizzy. “Well, that’s weird!” he thought.
Then he went downstairs and started trying to go through his normal routine, and he kept almost falling down! Then he got nauseous, and he couldn’t eat. All day long he couldn’t eat. He couldn’t keep it down. And part of him was going, “What’s wrong with me now?”
Then Romana asked him if he wanted to go to the doctor, and he felt into it for a minute and he was like, “No, I know better. This is just… Well, you get motion sickness when you go on a boat or ride in an automobile. And this is the same thing, except you are traveling in the dimensions, so you get…” Well, he called it dimension sickness.
And, of course, other people laughed and said, “Dementia?”
No, dimension sickness, from moving so fast through the dimensions.
John thinks back about our last session. He felt so much in the day leading up to that session! So many emotions coming up, so many energies moving through him. Then the session came and his mind was so busy translating the message that he had a hard time feeling it. Or he thought he did, he did feel it. And he still looks back on it and goes, “Did anything happen? I felt so much going into that. Did anything really happen?”
Well, so much happened! So much happened in that session, even if you weren’t aware of anything happening. So many energies moving! Not just John’s, but yours too.
Even those of you who joined in with the transcript later, yes, you moved energies too.
So much shifting!
It’s happening deep inside of you.
And as has been said so many times, it’s a natural process. You cannot get it wrong at this point.
But every now and then you are going to feel it. It shows up as tiredness, or aches and pains, or dizziness, or a flu or cold, or whatever. It is all part of this process!
In the channel we did the other day we said, “A point will come where you look back and you see how absolutely perfect everything was right now. You will see how everything right now is serving you, serving this transformation, even when it makes you crazy.”
Even when it hurts, it is still serving you.
Everything that happens right now… Even when it feels like a big mistake, everything that happens right now is for the best.
There are not any mistakes right now.
There are things the human judges as mistakes, because the outcome wasn’t what it expected. But they are not mistakes. They are transformation happening.
Something pops out of your mouth in a conversation and then you’re like, “Why did I say that? That was stupid!”
No, that was your soul taking you to a different place, and maybe that other person too.
There is nothing you need to do with all of these aspects, except to feel what you feel and allow that.
John looks at himself and askes, “Am I actually making progress here?”
And I just laugh at him, because he knows the truth. When you are in the middle of the change it’s hard to see it, because you have this human time thing. It spreads it out a little bit, and it’s gradual enough that it’s hard to see it happening in the middle of it. Especially when you are distracted because it hurts ,or it’s confusing, or whatever.
But yes, it is happening! So much.
So come, now.
Come back to this place we’ve been coming to in our other sessions.
You and your soul, the human and the soul—after all these eons of experience (that actually all happened in a moment)—you are coming back together now.
You are back together now!
You are not coming back together anymore, you are back together!
You are holding each other.
You are blending together.
You are turning together as one, and looking at all of this creation.
This grand creation!
So many grand creations!
And now you can see them all as one big creation that you’ve been exploring.
Now, here you are. You are back together!
Divinity and human, soul and human.
Look at your life now. Not just this one little life here, but your whole life.
So many incarnations on Earth. So many different people you have been on Earth, and it is all a part of your life.
Notice how they are turning to look at you, because they too are feeling this reunion, this blending, and they also know that they are part of it.
All these aspects, feel them.
Feel them, as they come to you now.
Not as the disturbed, terrified aspects that they’ve been for so long. But now they are seeing the truth.
Feel them as they come to you, as you, the human and the divine blended together, open your arms to them.
Feel as they blend in.
Feel yourself fill up with them, with you.
This too… Dear friend, this too is your divinity. All these aspects!
Oh, they’ve been such a burden in the past. They were embarrassing. They were shameful. They were hurt. And they were so many things that you struggled with.
Now here they are, every one of them, coming home to you.
Blending back in, bringing their wisdom and their experience to you.
There is no need for any more drama with them, or from them.
As you go through your life, your human life, and you feel the memories of them, allow yourself to remember that those are just memories.
These aspects of you are home now.
Yes, the memories are still out there, but they are just memories. They are no longer real.
You don’t have to struggle with them anymore.
You don’t have to take them on anymore.
You have their wisdom now, so you can dive into your life here without fear. Without fear of being sidetracked or manipulated.
All those old memories, they are just memories. They have no power over you.
Their essence is here now, home within you. Within your soul.
And there is no longer any difference, other than memories, between you and your soul and any of your aspects. All of your aspects.
Let them be home now.
It is done, dear friend, if you let it be.
And even if you don’t, because you already made the choice a long time ago, and nothing can stop the fulfillment of that choice to be free, to be whole, to be complete.
And it is done.
As you go through your human life in the coming weeks, remember that: IT IS DONE.
No matter how crazy your human life might feel, it’s a natural part of being human. It’s a little crazy!
But this is done.
You are whole. You are complete
Now you can simply ride through life like you were floating in a river, and let it carry you.
You can watch the craziness go past, and watch how it all works out.
After all, what’s the worst that could happen?
Oh, you could lose this body that keeps you so stuck feeling, and then know your wholeness on a whole new level!
But even that isn’t likely, because you made the choice to be here in your wholeness.
Being here in your wholeness isn’t going to be anything like being here in your limitation. Nothing works the same as it did, and you are still getting used to that. And that’s ok. Just allow the river to carry you, and you’ll get used to it.
And you will come to see how everything works out.
Everything is for the best now. Everything!
Because you are home.
All of you is home now!
Let that in!
Breathe it in.
Allow yourself to feel you the human, you the soul, and this whole crowd of beautiful aspects, all blended together.
All you, whole and complete.
And you still have a human, a beautiful human, who is a little confused right now.
Allow this human, also, to blend into you, and it will smooth out.
It feels that blending, and it’s scared of it, but it wants it more than anything. And it is here now. It’s happening.
So as you go through these next two weeks, remember this blending. Keep coming back to it.
You can listen to this session if you want to, over again as many times as you want to.
But you can also just remember this feeling, of you, home in your wholeness.
No more aspects to process.
Just you, to live. To discover. To enjoy your life.
Let’s just feel for a few moments.
Feel the joy of all these aspects. They are so excited!
Oh, they’re still scared too, some of them, but they know.
This is the time when they get to come home.
This is the time when they are home.
Bring them with you, as you go through your life in the coming days.
Bring your soul with you.
You don’t have to do anything about that, just know that they are with you.
They are you.
And you are whole.
And so it is.
[a pause, as John breaths and begins to come back]
Chris: Thank you, Master Anna.
Silvia: Woohoo! So excited! So happy to hear that!
John: It wasn’t where I expected to go, but…
Silvia: So as you said, a human doesn’t need to know who aspects came in. Right?
Silvia: So, my work is not to be human, integrated with the divinity. I don’t need to remember all these lives, right?
John: No, just be you. They’re all part of you. You don’t need to remember them or single them out, or process them or anything. They’re home now. They brought you their wisdom.
Silvia: Yesterday I had the perfect day. I was like, wow, I would love to have these days every day! But now I understand that every day was different, and it was because every aspect is different, right? But now we are cool. That means perfection is coming!
John: I wouldn’t count on human perfection, because that wouldn’t be perfect. But you have the wisdom now to float through it.
Silvia: Just like easy going, enjoying life.
Silvia: With human challenges, but we are here. Yay! Thank you!
John: Thank you, each of you, for being part of this.
Romana: We don’t want to go yet!
Silvia: No, we don’t want to go yet.
John: We don’t have to.
Romana: It just feels so sweet and so calm. Even Tawa [Chris’s dog] is enjoying it, and feels very relaxed.
Chris: [holding Tawa] Yeah.
Monika: Sweet! My dragon is also calm. [holding pink dragon]
Romana: It looks very happy!
Silvia:It looks like you!
Monika: [cuddling the dragon] We are becoming one now.
Silvia:So, is the next session the last one?
John: I haven’t really designated a last one, but if that’s what the group feels, we could make it the last one. I thought we would continue as long as there are people who want to continue.
Silvia: It’s fine with me, we can continue.
Monika:For me, it’s not even a question!
John: Then we will continue.
Silvia: Thank you.
John: Thank you!
Silvia: Really, being all together, it helps us.
Silvia: It helps us to realize that we are not alone, and we are in the same path, and we are not crazy!
John: Yes, we feel crazy, but we are not crazy.
Silvia: Lucky you, you have someone next to you, your partner! She’s on the same path.
John: Yes, so lucky!
And every now and then I tell her, “You must be a really crazy woman to have married such a crazy guy as me!”
Romana: And I say, “That’s true!” [laughter]
But I could probably not settle for somebody less crazy.
John: Me either.
Silvia: So, this week I came out of the closet, and I just told my family, “I’m not alone. I’m being guided. Don’t worry about me because I’m not eating. I’m ok. I’m being guided by my divinity. And they think I’m crazy!
John: Well, we don’t.
Silvia: But I feel so good, because I can express it to the external world! And I do feel that my divinity is speaking too, so I’m just happy for that.
Well, Chris has his dog, Monika has her Valentine’s puppet, John has Romana, Romana has John. And now, I have me! [laughter]
Romana: That’s most important!
John: That’s the most important! It would never work with us if we didn’t have ourselves first.
Silvia:And I feel good because I’m not hiding anymore, you know, for my people. And then, and as someone says, just by example they might follow.
Chris: Yeah, they’ll follow or it’ll change, the dynamic will change in some way when you come out like that. Always.
Silvia: I haven’t noticed that yet but I’ll be aware of that.
Chris: Mm, I mean, it always has for me anyway, once I realized where I wasn’t being myself and I wasn’t being authentic. Once I released that I either had a bunch of new people come in or people leave, or things just changed because it’s your creation, you know, and if you’re holding yourself back like that it gets painful. Well, in my experience it was, anyway, I had a lot of anxiety from that.
John: And part of that is the whole point. That anxiety, that fear, is a hook.
John: So we get to move through it, and here we are!
Silvia: There was a time when we were watching a movie about Abraham and God. And my family were watching with me, and then when the movie was over one of them says, “Oh, too bad that God is not speaking to people anymore.”
And we told, my husband and I, “God is speaking to people, and there is more than one person! Go to youtube and find a lot of people talking to God!”
John: Yeah. [laughter]
Silvia: So, since then I was able to open myself and tell them, God speaks to me!
So it’s not like only for myself, not anymore. So now I was able to say to everyone. So from now on I’m going to do that. I opened the closet! It feels different.
Romana: So we are looking forward for the report in two weeks! [laughter]
Silvia: Yes, it doesn’t matter that they don’t understand me. But it feels good.
[Everybody waves, including Monika’s pink dragon]
Silvia: Thank you everyone!
Chris: Thanks guys! See you in a couple of weeks.
Monika: Bye bye!
John: Good luck with your residency stuff, Chris.
Chris: Yeah, I’ll let you guys know how I go, share some photos from Lake Titicaca. It’ll be cool.
Romana: Are you taking Tawa with you in Bolivia?
Chris: No, no, I’m not going to take him, but this property that I’m on has a house next to me with a woman who I’m neighbors with, very close, so she can take care of him for me. I’m not going to be gone for long.
Silvia:For how long you’re going to be there?
Chris: I haven’t decided yet but probably only three nights, maybe four nights. I don’t want to make it look like a total border run like, like I’m just over there for an hour and coming back. I want to do a little bit, and I really want to see Lake Titicaca anyway. That’s actually been the one thing that I’ve wanted to see more than anything while here in South America.
Silvia: Beautiful! The Lake Titicaca, it has a lot of history.
Chris: Yes, it does. Apparently Saint Germaine has a retreat up there in the etheric as well, so we’ll see what I end up dreaming while I’m there. But yeah, it’ll be cool.
John: Cool. Well, have fun!
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