I Am Divinity

Session 13

Channeled by John McCurdy during a live Zoom session on 27 March 2024

This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible. Note that Hmm, Mmm, and lines with just a dot signify places to pause, and to feel into what is being said.

Thank you to Chris Vandermeer for managing Zoom during the session, and for helping to prepare this transcript.

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John: So go ahead and play the music, Chris, and let’s go for it and see where we go.

[music plays]

Master Anna: I am that I am!

Master Anna of Magical Service, also known as John’s soul.

Ahh…

And I Am Divinity!

And so are you.

Oh, this isn’t just a pretty concept. This is real!

You and your soul, your divinity, are blended together.

Not blending together, but blended together. It’s done!

Oh, the human doesn’t feel like it a lot, because the human is still getting used to it. Soul is still getting used to this.

You, your whole being, are still getting used to this.

It’s changing everything, as you’ve noticed. It’s making your body crazy. It’s making your mind crazy. It’s making you tired. It’s creating chaos in your life.

But all of that is because it is done.

Divinity is here. It is you.

Mmm…

So, two weeks ago we talked about trust, about trusting self, and we told you then we’d be asking you, how were these past two weeks were for you with your trust, your trust of self? How did you experience that? How was it for you?

Chris.

Chris:I want to share something because it’s funny. You guys obviously did that session while I was unwell, but I think probably just after that session I had the best, most relevant dream about precisely that.

I was riding along on some sort of vehicle on a track along a beach side, and I was driving along and I remember I found an amethyst, which had to do with forgiveness, freeing myself through forgiveness. But then as I was driving, I got asked this question from out in the ethers and it asked, “Who are you listening to?”

Who are you living by? Who are you living through?

And I watched the response: Oh, I’m listening to John, I’m listening to Adamus, I’m listening to Bogdan, whatever, all my master friends.

And then all of a sudden the answer came back: “Wait, no, I’m listening to myself!” And then all of a sudden this vehicle that I was on got this turbo boost, like it started to be able to drive really fast.

And then along this path, there were obstacles, there were barriers, you know, like a fence had been put up, and unless I had said that I was listening to myself, my vehicle wouldn’t have been able to jump them and I was literally jumping them like some sort of video game, you know, in Mario Kart or whatever.

And I went boom, boom, boom, over three different barriers, moving so fast. And I got to the end of the thing, and I remember I got off my vehicle and this guy, like this big sort of bodybuilder type, was trying to intimidate me. There was like a fear about it. You know, you don’t want to be too big or too confident in yourself, because you’ll ruffle people’s feathers.

So, yeah, that was awesome, because I read the email and I saw what you guys were talking about. And yeah, I realized that that was coming through.

And yeah, I trust… Well, actually I didn’t deal with it as well as I could have, but I did what I needed to do. I told my friend to go away. I said I’m not doing the website at all.

I actually pulled out before the other website was even finished. I woke up with such a clear memory of a few of the ways she had spoken to me, even though I was being ridiculously generous with my time and my skills, and I just said I can’t do it. I can’t, I can’t do it. I can’t do this anymore. And it felt fantastic.

All of a sudden all of my energy freed up. I was having digestion issues because of the anger that I was feeling and not expressing properly in the situation. But I let go of it, and then I’ve just watched my energy go straight back to me in the best way possible.

So, I didn’t deal with it as well as I could have. I did have anger and resentment…

Master Anna: Oh, stop! Stop!

You always deal with it as well as you could have.

Oh, next time you’ll know more…

Chris: Yeah, that’s it. True.

And at the end of the day, those are always co-creations. You know, I was sitting down and I was talking to myself with a pen and paper and, yeah, you’re right… In any situation like that you are a character in someone else’s dream as well, so, whatever you do is, yeah, it’s a part of their creation, you know. It’s a co-creation on their behalf as well.

Master Anna: It’s also part of your creation. More importantly, it’s part of your experience, and experiences aren’t supposed to be perfect.

Chris: Hmm… Yeah. Totally. So…

Master Anna: Pat yourself on the back. You dealt with it well.

Chris: Yeah. Free.

So, that’s my take.

Master Anna: Awesome.

Who else?

Monika.

Monika:I knew that this question was in the room since last session, and I was dancing around the Facebook page. I was waiting that somebody else is starting to write. And I had to laugh when I received your email, John, that I have to answer a question.

Master Anna: You don’t have to. You don’t ever have to.

Monika: Yeah, but I like to. Yeah, my mind went nuts the last two weeks, totally. Yeah, I told last time that fundamental things in my life are breaking, crumbling away. And yeah, it was in the last weeks and months, this one day I said this, the other day the other thing, the opposite.

And the last two weeks everything came together. I did not know anymore what is really my truth. I thought now I’m totally spaced out in my mind, and I’m totally distorted in my mind, until I came back to the simple breath and I remembered myself to allow myself with every breath.

And I found out for myself that I can trust only with every breath new, and I started feeling more and talking more to the master. And when I’m present, when the master is in my consciousness, yeah, then I trust. Then it’s trusting myself.

But it needed… It were hard two weeks. I felt totally upside down, and it came to the point to this session today. The mind could calm down and the answers were here.

Thank you.

Master Anna: Thank you!

Mmm…

Who else?

Silvia.

Silvia:Indeed, it is a chaos in my life. Everything is changing. This human needs to move aside and let others do their part.

She was doing everything for everyone. It’s her style. Her own daughter called her Wonder Woman, because she does a lot of things for everyone. But now it’s time for her to receive. It’s time for her to let others realize that they need to do their part.

Master Anna: Yes.

Silvia: And she knows that I am here. We are working more consciously, in awareness.

At the same time, it’s been chaos around. She’s just wondering if everything is right, because this chaos… Yesterday they tried to steal their car on the street in the morning, and at night her son broke a crystal in the door, and—a small injury—and she is still in the chair with the leg. She needs to rest. But she is accepting that she needs to move aside so everyone can do their part. It’s happening, but she’s fighting it, because she has stomach problems. She has digestion problems. But everything is moving.

Master Anna: Yes.

Silvia: All and moving. [??? recording garbled]

So I am here, as you mentioned. Divinity is here in this body. Divinity is adjusting in this body, but it’s not bone, it’s not skin, it’s not organ. It’s just the light in this body.

We are blending, blending, blending. It’s taking time.

It’s taking time because this human don’t know what is happening. But it is a wonderful book that Adamus wrote, Living Your Divinity. It is explaining everything there, so she has started reading that and she’s like, “Oh, ok! This is what is happening with me!” It gives her clarity for the human, so I recommend that for you guys.

Master Anna: Yes.

Silvia: Go ahead.

Master Anna: Thank you!

Romana?

Romana: Ah, what would I say?

So many things is happening. I feel like it’s… For me, as human, it’s impossible to understand all the layers.

I would just first like to present to you my new baby, to show you my new book. [Romana holds up her beautiful new book for children, TRAVNIK ČAROBNE LEPOTE.]

I’m really proud of this creation! It was a long time birthing, and it speaks about this purest part of us. The most sensitive part of us, in a way.

And I relate to what you said, Silvia. It’s like I take on me so much of this process of taking care of… In this particular process of creating this book it’s just dealing with so many people, and at the end I don’t know what I actually want and what I actually feel sometimes.

And it’s a very interesting time, in a way. So much beauty is birthing on the other side, so much anger is coming out of me, resisting this…

There is not even one more chance to push down what I really don’t like, what I really don’t resonate with, so everything is just… My body doesn’t allow me to be kind anymore. I mean nice, you know, in a way like I would sometimes in the past. I would just love to be this kind person who makes everybody happy and makes everything harmonious and takes care everybody are feeling good, and I’m just surprising myself with these reactions that are very rude sometimes.

I mean, part of me is, oh I said that so rudely! So… Which is probably not rude, but it’s very direct and I’m not used to that. I mean, John knows that part of me very well…

But I mean, in general, it’s this… When the wholeness of me is coming inside of my body, it’s just not allowing any crap anymore, or anything that is not mine or real, and part of my human is really feeling confused around that. Because it’s just like in these comedy movies when everything is falling apart in the same time, and do you want to try save one thing and then there is another thing breaking and another and another.

And so it’s confusing, and at the same time I feel in my belly this force that is coming within me and it’s just not allowing me to be pleaser, you know, or to be unreal in any way.

So yeah, it’s busy. It’s messy, in a way, to be in this place. I’m also losing people, in a way. You know, some people just cannot deal with me in that truth. And it’s ok. It’s just ok. Most people were not really… We were kind of coming to the place where we cannot be anymore really resonating, anyway.

So everything is just putting itself on the real place, I feel, and not always in nice ways. But it’s just kind of the truth is just standing there, and it’s just…

Yeah, so that’s how I feel, and I feel also that I’m tired of all that, so I really feel like I need to take some time just for me. Maybe this session now, it’s kind of supporting me with what you said, Silvia. You know, you needed to stop, and I also need to stop and to take things slower now. So yeah, and trust.

Trust for me, and this means, trusting it even if it looks like, “What the heck!” you know. But there is something beyond all of that. I feel like I know what I’m doing. I know what me as soul is doing, and… Yeah.

So thank you all. And thank you for your stories, they are inspiring for me. All of you.

Silvia: Just don’t break the leg!

Romana: Yeah, I hope I will do it without breaking anything! But, yeah.

Silvia: I chose that. I wouldn’t do that!

Master Anna: Ahh…

Thank you, Romana. Thank you each one of you for sharing. And yes, don’t break your legs!

John knows what that’s like.

Ahh…

You see, John and I have been working on this trust issue for a long time. It was 1995, and I was pushing him. He got a job, the first job he’d had in a while. It was perfect for that moment, for a few months, and then I started pushing him to take some time for himself. To take some time to write, take some time to hike in the woods, whatever. “Take some time for you, John, because you need it. It’s really important!”

Oh, but the job took all of his time. He was married at the time and they didn’t have any extra money, and John was like, “How are we going to pay the rent if I don’t do this job?”

But he was also feeling himself. Somebody gave him a whole box full of tapes from Abraham, Abraham-Hicks, and he was listening to those and just eating them up, and feeling, “I have to do something different!”

Finally he decided that he had to take some time off, that he needed to reduce his hours to part-time so that he had some time for himself. But he was terrified. How am I going to pay the bills? How will we pay the rent or buy the food or anything?

One day he finally made a decision, and he went to talk to his boss and tell him he needed some time off. And before he could get the words out of his mouth, the boss handed him blueprints for a new house being built—they were doing the wiring—and asked him to work up a quote on it. And before he knew it, his boss had said, “Ok, go get started on that house.” And John hadn’t said what he needed to say.

He felt horrible! But there he was, so he went to work. And on what would have been the last day of that particular project he was walking through this house and tripped, fell, and dislocated his right shoulder. Which feels a lot like breaking something. It was the worst pain he’d ever experienced in his life.

He picked himself up off the floor and his arm didn’t work, and he started to pass out, so he sat down real quick and started laughing. Because he knew exactly what had happened: He had to stop, and he found a way to do that.

But he also learned, and he said to me, “I am never, ever again, going to do something that doesn’t feel good just to pay the bills, just for a little bit of human illusion of security. Never again!” And he has mostly kept that promise.

Even now he still gets scared sometimes, when he can’t see how things are going to work out. He and Romana have to move out of this house by the end of June at the latest, maybe sooner, and they don’t know where they’re going to go or what they are going to do.  It feels like everything is up in the air, like something new is coming and they can’t see it. And that’s scary. It’s scary for the human.

It’s not scary for me, the soul. I can feel those potentials, and I know it’s going to work out. It always does! Because in that experience John took a huge step toward trusting himself, and trusting me, his soul. Because I am himself.

And it has gotten so much better. Oh, there have been many challenges, many things that didn’t work out the way the human expected them to, or thought they should. But they have always worked out, and here we are, still alive. Still talking. Still in the flow of our life, John’s and mine.

Hmm…

And it’s a beautiful flow! But even now, maybe even especially now, it’s not predictable. We can’t look ahead and say this or that is going to happen, or this is what we are going to do, or that. We just can’t, because it is unknown.

Oh, dear Adamus has this big thing about never saying “I don’t know.” But even he made an exception: He said, “If you ask a master what they are going to do tomorrow or the next day, the master says, ‘I don’t know, because I haven’t gotten there yet.’”

And that is the way life is from now on, as the master in human form.

The human thinks that that should mean that it knows what is going to happen next, but it doesn’t. The master knows that everything works out, but it doesn’t know how it works out.

So it takes a lot of faith. That’s another word for trust, but it is faith in yourself, not in some other God or deity or being.

Faith in yourself: I am divinity. I am the master, and because of that everything works out for me.

How will it work out? Well, ask me later and I’ll tell you how it worked out. But for now, it is about trusting that it will work out.

There are a lot of other factors in play here, a lot of energies that the mind isn’t aware of and can’t really be aware of, and those are all part of the equation of how things work out.

Mmm…

Going forward from here it is all about trust. Trusting yourself. Trusting your own flow, your own river.

It is going to make less and less sense to the human. Until after the fact, and then you’ll look back and go, “Wow, how did all of that happen? How did I end up in this beautiful place?”

Hmm…

John looks back at his life from here, and he’s still amazed. “How did I end up here? How did I end up married to this incredible woman, Romana? How did this happen?”

Well, it happened because he was willing to trust himself, even when it made no sense at all. He was willing to trust what he felt in the moment. To say yes, even when there was no human reason to say yes. To simply do what was present to do, until the next step became clear. Until one day, he found himself on an airplane with a one way ticket to the other side of the world and no idea what was going to happen then. That was six years ago, and it has been the happiest six years of his life!

That’s what happens when you trust.

Oh, he doesn’t always remember. Even now, oh, it’s so easy to let the mind get into worrying about, “What’s going to happen next? How are we going to take care of ourselves? Everything is crazy! How are we going to deal with these crazy people? How are we going to… And just what are we going to be doing in a couple of months? What should we be doing?”

Every now and then John thinks he should be doing something to market his website, or to market his class or the upcoming workshop. And then he sits down at the computer and tries to think of what to do about it, and it all turns into mud.

And I’m there saying, “John, it’s not about that. It’s not about what you do. It is about having the experience right now, and letting it work out from a different place.”

When there is something you really need to do, you always know and you always do it, just because that’s what you do in that moment. It’s not about figuring it out. It’s not about doing anything.

It is about floating in the river and allowing the experience, wherever that river takes you.

Sometimes it’s gentle and calm.

Sometimes it takes you through roaring rapids.

Sometimes it puts you off in a little eddy at the side, and you feel like you’re going backwards for a little bit.

Sometimes it takes you over a waterfall and changes everything.

Can you trust that?

Can you allow yourself to float in that river?

To simply be present with what is in this moment?

Not trying to fix it or make it better, or to put something in place for the next moment.

You’ll know when it’s time to do that. You will just find yourself doing it.

Can you be present with the experience now, and trust that every moment is going to take care of itself?

Mmm…

Indeed, so many body issues are because the body is confused, just like the mind is. It’s not quite sure how to be. It feels the changes happening, and those changes are very exhausting at times. There is a lot of rewiring going on!

If this was any other time, some of you wouldn’t even be here at this point. But you said, “I want to be here! I want to go through this!” So that is what we are doing.

But it’s challenging. It’s tiring. Especially when you worry about it and you try to fix it.

You feel something going on in your body and the mind runs off into, “Oh, what’s wrong now?”

Nothing. You are just going through the change.

Can you just let it happen?

Mmm…

.

.

You are divinity.

Can you trust that?

.

You are God also, if you like that perspective, that metaphor.

Can you trust that?

.

Mmm…

Several years ago John was interacting with some people and the ‘intolerant master’ showed up and said some things. And some people didn’t like that, and they started shaming him.

For a little bit he took it on. “Why did I say that? That was harsh. That was maybe even stupid. Why did I say that?”

At that point I came to John and I said, “John, you are God also, and God does not make mistakes! Can you trust that?

“Can you trust that whatever comes out of your mouth is the voice of God?

“Oh, you are wise enough not to make it about the other people. It is the God of you. Can you trust it?

“Can you trust yourself that much?”

Mmm…

That was a huge step in his life, a huge step into coming home, into opening up to his own self-love.

And that is really what this is about. Can you love yourself so much that you can trust you, no matter what, no matter what craziness is happening?

Can you wrap your arms around yourself and say, “I love me. And I am divinity. And I am whole and complete. And all I need to do now is to allow this river to carry me. Not somebody else’s river, my river. My self.”

Can you love yourself that much?

That is the new love, love 2.0 as Adamus calls it. We just call it the new love.

Love for self love.

A love that is in total trust of self.

A love that is willing to be bold and daring and outrageous for self. And instead of second guessing that, to own it. To be proud of yourself for standing up to those others and saying what has to be said sometimes.

To love oneself so much is to take the other path, the road less traveled; to allow things to work out instead of trying to make them work out.

Mmm…

It’s all just an experience.

You are not here to accomplish anything.

Sometimes you do accomplish things. Romana published this beautiful book, this beautiful children’s story. So beautiful! But that’s an experience along the way. A beautiful experience, but it was also a stressful experience.

As we go forward, we are going to be allowing those experiences to be less stressful.

How that happens is not predictable.

Even I, John’s Soul, don’t know how things are going to work out for John, because we are going to discover that together in the moment.

Ha! We are not sitting up here in the other realms, pushing all the pieces around to make things work out in certain ways.

We are just floating in the river, and that river is responding to our grandness. And it all works out.

Mmm…  

Are there any questions or observations at this point?

Romana:I would have one observation.

What you said to know about soul doesn’t really know, you know, I have different perspective on that. I feel that me as soul… The word ‘soul’ contains lots of things for me. It’s my knowingness of who I am.

I believe, and I feel, that I actually do know. It’s not just like, you know, different potentials that are possible and things will work out. I mean, ‘work out’ is not enough. You know what I mean? Like, work out is not enough. It’s got to be more than work out.

My soul, I believe, knows my path. It knows my kasama. [Kasama means Soul Destiny] And I kind of feel like Soul can see farther. It’s bigger, and it can see further and bigger than the human. And at some point, me as human will come to the place where I will see, “Ah, that’s my next step. That’s my next…”

So, yeah, I feel like it’s “and,” what you’ve said now about discovering it together. Because at some level I feel that nothing is really important what we do, because what is important is that we really allow our wholeness to embody us, to allow our light to enlighten us. So when we are being in this consciousness it doesn’t really matter if I make pizza for lunch, or if I make vegetables too.

You know, it’s the content of who I am. This brightness that I’m radiating is important, and it is doing. This is my main doing. How I move through doing this or that is maybe not so important.

So what I’m trying to say is that I feel it is about exploring, because it’s not so important what exactly will happen. On the other hand, I believe that my soul knows. And there are some things, some places, that already know I’m going to visit them. And some agreements that we have together, what we will do, what we will offer, what we will express.

Yeah, that’s how I believe. Do you have any pearls?

Master Anna: Indeed!

Indeed, we would agree.

There are things that we know are part of the path ahead. How that happens isn’t so clear, and where it becomes a problem is where the human gets an idea that, “Oh, that’s what we’re doing!” and then turns it into an agenda. And then gets all stressed out trying to make that happen.

Mmm…

That’s the place to step back and take a breath, and let the river take you there.

Because that’s the part that isn’t clear, even to soul. It’s the how it happens, how do we get there?

Well, we have to discover that. And at different moments you get an impulse that says, “I need to buy an airplane ticket now,” or “I need to make a reservation somewhere,” or whatever, and you just know.

Or a knowing that says, “Oh, yes, at some point I’m going to this place. I’m going to do that workshop,” or whatever, and you allow that into your awareness as a strong potential.

And then you have to let the river take you there.

Does that…

Romana:I would maybe invite also somebody else, if you want to share your opinions on that, or your perspectives?

Because for me, ‘big potential’ is already kind of making it ‘maybe.’

I believe that there are some things that are more clear, you know, like… Yeah, that are not just potential, but are there, and they are my soul knowingness that will be something I’m expressing, that I want to express.

It’s, yeah, you know, I mean, in experiencing the human reality. Like for example, there is the great potential that I’m going to visit this place, for example, some particular place. But I know it’s not just a great potential. It’s something that is just there for me on this journey that I chose as a human.

Master Anna: Indeed.

Romana: So I believe it’s more… I’m not saying I believe in fate, but I believe that there are, yeah, I believe it’s more, you know, my soul knows more of what my journey is. And yeah, it might sound like fatalism, like I’m believing in this destiny and I’m just walking from one point to another, and…

Master Anna: We are not arguing with the souls knowing. John had a knowing for most of his life that there was some woman somewhere that he was going to meet one day.

Romana: Yeah, so if you would say that was just a great potential and it could be that it wouldn’t happen, you know, I don’t think…

Master Anna: There were many points along the way where it could have changed. He could have left. He could have made some other choices. So it wasn’t ever set in stone, but it was a really strong kasama, you could say. A potential soul destiny.

But in order to get here he had to let go of all the “how,” because otherwise he never would have looked outside of America. He had to let go of looking, before he could even open up and experience someplace else and discover you.

So, we are not arguing that there aren’t things that the soul knows, or that you and your soul have a strong intention for. We’re just saying, can you be here now? Can you be in the river right now, and let it take you there?

Because more and more, going forward, when you try to get out of that river or try to push the river around, it hurts.

Let it carry you. And then, it gets you to those places at just the right time, at just the right moment, in just the right way.

Mmm…

Anyone else?

Questions? Observations?

Silvia.

Silvia:As a matter of fact, this is what I am learning right now: Trust in the river.

Because I was pushing this way, that way, opposite to the current. I’m a pusher.

I’m a pusher, so the day that I fell I was organizing a dinner with my family and I asked, “Ok, I’m going to bring this, who can bring that? And who can bring this?”

And nobody answered. Nobody responded. It didn’t take place, the dinner I was organizing to gather the family. It didn’t take place.

So after a while, after the leg and everything, I just started trusting myself. And one day, just one member of my family called me: “Ok, we are going go to this place. Do you want to come?”

Ok, I’ll go! I asked what I’m going to bring. “Ok, just bring this.” Ok.

To my surprise, when I was there, the dinner that I was helping, it was there. Everyone was there and I didn’t move anything! I was just invited! It was beautiful, because that’s what I wanted.

I want to gather all the family together as old times, and feel family time. And it just happened, because I trust. To my surprise, my soul organized everything.

And I’m moving the camera, just because my son is around and he’s naked. So we don’t want to see him around naked, ok?

[laughter]

That’s it! It’s just I’m learning to trust myself. That’s why I have to slow down.

Master Anna: Yeah.

Silvia: Everything will happen. Merlin is creating my reality, and my job is to experience it. And sometimes I don’t like it. That’s why I have a digestive problem, because it took me several years to learn how to deal with my son.

Now my husband is dealing with my son in a month. That’s why I’m having anger issues, because I have to let him be. I have to let him learn. I have to let THEM, because they need to be together. My son, my husband, need to be together, and then bring the masculine energy in my son. And me move aside so they can be together. So, it is hard.

Master Anna: Yes.

Silvia: But I just realized that I have to do it, trusting myself. It’s hard, but it’s our reality.

Master Anna: It is.

It’s like self-love. It’s the hardest thing there is for the human to do, and even for the soul. And, it’s so rewarding.

Silvia: Go ahead.

Master Anna: Monika?

Monika: I worked my whole lifetime with the humans, so I learned already, in early years, to have a kind language. To please people. To be kind and pleasant.

Even I felt anger, and even I felt it’s not ok what these clients were doing, but I had to be kind.

And yeah, this is what I tried to tell before, that in the last months, one day I said this, and the other day the other thing. I’m very unpleasant too, at the moment!

I can be very bitchy by talking! [laughter]

The whole anger is coming out of me. I can’t hold myself back anymore.

But it has consequences. Some clients are leaving me, because I can’t play the kind Monika anymore. I just say what comes to me.

My partner is moving out, because I’m not kind anymore. And yeah, it has consequences, and I can feel I have a difficulty to love me in this, to trust me that this is 100% my divinity.

Master Anna: Yes.

Monika: That all is well. Yeah, this brought me in this situation that I felt totally upside down, because I’m not used to talk in a violent way. But now I can’t hold back anymore.

Master Anna: You can’t. Sometimes it just has to come out.

Monika: Yeah, but how to really love me in this? How to trust that this is divine?

It’s still a judgment there.

Master Anna: But you are starting to take that judgment off, and that’s one of the greatest ways to love yourself.

Monika:It’s hard. It’s hard to love me like that.

Master Anna: It is. But it changes you, also. It opens the door for your own energies to really start flowing, to really start serving you, because now you are being real.

You had yourself stuffed in this box of “nice,” and that is not real.

Monika: No.

Master Anna: And your energies are all stuck in that.

Sometimes you just have to blow that box open, get out of the nice, and be real.

And yeah, it’s hard. People don’t like it. People go out of your life.

Let them. There will be others who resonate with the real you, who will come at the right times.

The most important of those is YOU.

Monika: Yeah, the human is afraid of ending up alone.

Master Anna: You are not alone anymore.

You might not have another physical body around you, but you have YOU now. You have your soul, your divinity.

Be in that relationship. Nurture that relationship. Treat yourself the way you would treat that other person.

Monika: Thank you.

Master Anna: Indeed.

Anything else?

Romana: I would just add here, Monika, I feel exactly like you! And I feel like it’s so difficult to love me, because of all this, you know, it just almost feels like it is wave of darkness coming out of me.

On the other hand, I feel like so much of these tensions in my belly have built because of this, yeah, also fear of disappointing people or, you know, being judgmental or being rude. And now I see that every time I express myself, who I really am, it is unpleasant, but also kind of opens something in my belly.

And this means that it opens some energy flow in being who I really am.

Although it’s not easy for me, like you say, for yourself. It’s not easy, because I kind of… My belief is that kindness is part of self-love, and kindness is what makes me such a wonderful person. And maybe wonderful, but what I’m realizing is also, through our conversation now, is that  as we are rearranging our lives, ourselves, this truth wants to come out fully. And we will be kind again, maybe, sometime…

But we need open the new. We need to put ourselves in the realignment of natural who we are, and open the flow of the energy. Because this kindness… Not kindness, it’s “nicey.” Being “nicey” also closes up the energies in the belly, and that’s the place of vitality and yeah, the wholeness.

So it’s not just the heart, the kindness of the heart, but it’s also the strength of my whole body. My belly, everything is more pristine, in a way. That’s how I feel with this.

And yeah, I’m learning to love myself this way too.

Monika: Yes, thank you Romana. I perhaps can add that I especially tried to be kind because it’s also to my partner. I didn’t want to lose him. But the more I tried to be kind again the worse that it became, because I suppressed something what wanted to come out. Because it’s authentic.

But still, from a human perspective, I judge myself. As I said, it’s really hard to love me like that, to accept it.

And something in me knows that it’s authentic. It’s real. It’s true. But it has consequences into human life, to be authentic.

Master Anna: Yes.

Monika: And that’s for the human, yeah, the harder part at the moment. Thank you, Romana.

Master Anna: To be kind to someone in order to keep them around, doesn’t work. It doesn’t work!

It’s brutality. It’s the opposite of kindness, of real kindness.

Romana said something about this cloud of darkness coming out of her right now, and it reminded us of that beautiful channel that so many of us were part of almost 20 years ago, with Tobias, when we said, “The darkness is our divinity.”

That’s where we find our divinity. It is that, precisely that darkness!

Some people are still trying to turn it into something else, but it is that darkness, that being real even when it’s brutal, when it hurts, when it’s harsh. That is our divinity!

When we let it out, instead of suppressing ourselves in order to please somebody else, that is where divinity can really start coming into your life. Because it includes that.

Mmm…

Anything else before we wrap up?

Ahh…

The new love cannot love fake, because that is the opposite. In order to truly love yourself requires real, because it is YOU that needs to be loved. Not your shell, not your facade that you put out to the world. It is you, all of you, the dark parts and the light parts.

All of that is what needs to be loved, and nurtured, accepted, and acknowledged.

Mmm…

So, let’s be with this in the next two weeks.

What does it take to trust yourself enough to be the real you, even when it seems so dark?

Hmm…

And so it is.

.

Silvia: Thank you Master John.

Monika: Thank you very much to everybody. Thank you John.

Romana: Thank you John, thank you everybody.

John: Thank you. Each of you, and everyone else whose energy is here.

Romana: I just wanted to add that I am very grateful that this attitude that you and John or Master Anna supported so clearly, I feel very grateful that also in our relationship of John and Romana, John is always supporting me in being real.

And in previous relationships, I was always, you know, when I came up with this real me, it was kind of always a problem. And it takes kind of a mature man to actually allow that wholeness in a woman. Or maybe also the opposite, in a woman, to accept the wholeness of a man in a relationship.

So this means a lot to me, that in this relationship I can really be me with all my, you know, authenticity that is not always very sweet. But I’m still learning to be that also in relationship with other people. But I’m grateful that in this intimate relationship of ours this part of me always has been supported, and this really helps me to, yeah, to start to be safe with who I am.

It takes time. It’s not so simple, because we have learned so much of this behavior of being afraid of who we really are and trying to be good, and trying to be kind, and who knows… So I feel like that’s the basis of kind of authentic relationship, also in between partners in an intimate partnership.

So, thank you everybody!

Silvia: Thank you. I’m so relaxed. I’m so relaxed. These meetings helped me a lot, because it helps me to understand me.

John: Thank you all for being here and for being part of this.

Monika: Thank you. I’m super grateful!

John: I’m glad Chris is back!

Monika: Ok, have a wonderful two weeks. I go to work again.

[laughter, goodbyes]

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