I Am Divinity

Session 16

Channeled by John McCurdy during a live Zoom session on 8 May 2024

This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible. Note that Hmm, Mmm, and lines with just a dot signify places to pause, and to feel into what is being said.

Thank you to Chris Vandermeer for managing Zoom during the session, and for helping to prepare this transcript.

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John: Okay, so let’s get started.

Before we begin, I just wanted to say a couple of things. One, Romana is not here today. She sends her greetings to all of you, but a friend of hers passed away recently and so she’s at the memorial in Ljubljana today. She sends her greetings to each of you, and she’ll be here next week.

The other thing that I need to say is that I’ve been feeling for a little while now that it’s time to take a break.

Everybody is paid for this month, so we’ll have this session and the next session in two weeks, and I’ll make sure that your subscriptions are all turned off so you don’t get charged anymore, and we’ll wrap this up for now and then see.

I’m just feeling like I need to shift gears a little bit. It feels like lots of stuff is changing inside of us, and it just feels like the right thing to take a break and see where we go from here.

So, I’ll miss doing this every two weeks. I’ve really enjoyed it and appreciated all of your participation. But it feels like the right thing for now, and then we’ll see.

So, Chris, go ahead and play the music and we’ll see where we go with this. I have no idea right now.

[music plays]

Master Anna: I am that I am!

Master Anna, of Magical Service!

Ahh…

Greetings once again, dear friends!

And yes, all good things need to come to an end so that they can be reborn in a new way, in new energy. So, we will do this session and one more, and then we will let the energies shift.

Oh, we’ve come so far in this series!

And we will make sure that the classes, all 17 sessions, will be available to you for the foreseeable future, so you can go back and listen to them if you want to, or read them or watch them.

Ahh…

So much we have done! Welcome home.

Welcome home!

Feel your soul welcoming you home.

It’s not some time in the future anymore. It is here, now.

You are home with your soul.

Your soul is home with you.

Oh, there are still habits and memories and getting used to each other, but that is just happening naturally.

And now you, and so many others, are in this time of huge changes. Huge changes inside of you. Huge changes in the world around you. And as the saying goes, you haven’t seen anything yet!

So, open up! Open to the changes. Open to yourself.

Mmm…

John had an insight just this morning. He’s talking with a man friend about doing a workshop for men. They were talking about the content, and John was talking about what matters to him and what his life has been about. So much about learning to love himself. And he realized that, you know what? As hard as he tried, it never really worked to love himself from the human, to feel love from the human standpoint.

He realized that the job of the human is not to try to conjure up some kind of feeling of love for itself, but to accept itself. To treat self with respect and with dignity.

One of John’s biggest breakthroughs, years ago, was when he noticed how he talked to himself, how abusive he was in his inner self-talk. Always calling himself stupid, or telling himself how stupid that was, or whatever. And he made a commitment to stop doing that, and to start being kind to himself in his own self-talk.

And that is something that the human can do. It’s challenging, it takes a commitment and a choice, but the human can do that. And just to begin treating itself with respect opens a space that is safe for the feminine, for the soul, to come back in.

You’ve heard the story from Adamus’ class on The Wound of Adam, how Adam discovered love and brought it to Isis. (The masculine and the feminine archetypes.)

And Isis took it, and she went away, in a sense. She told Adam, “I need to go away for a while. I need to take this love, and I need to make it mine. I need to learn how to love myself.”

So she went away, and that left a lot of men, and women too, because Adam and Isis are in both… No matter which gender your body is, you have both Adam and Isis inside.

And Adam felt lost. He felt lonely and confused. And as Adamus said, the one thing the human can do in that place is to maintain the safe home for her to return to, and we do that by being kind to self. By accepting self. By treating self with respect. And that makes a safe place where the feminine, the true feminine, can come, and can come back into balance, and where the masculine also can come back into balance.

And then, the gift that Isis brings is self-love. Love 2.0, as Adamus calls it. It is self-love, and now the human’s job is simply to let that in. Because soul, the inner feminine, in a sense, knows how to love you, how to love self, and she brings the human that gift.

Mmm…

So, with that, let’s take a little time to check in:

How have been your two weeks?

Any questions are coming up?

How are you today?

Silvia.

Silvia: These two weeks were more livable, more calm. I realized that there was a lot of loneliness inside of me.

That was a huge part that I did last week, this integration. Indeed, being in these classes, it’s been so helpful for the human part. She’s more balanced. She realizes that I am here, that I am divinity.

Master Anna: Yes.

Silvia: As you mentioned, it’s just habits. Habits that the human turn back to me, that the human invite me every day, in every moment, in every activity. The human says, “You don’t need invitation, because you are home.” But it feels good to acknowledge the present.

Master Anna: Yes.

Silvia: A lot of distractions outside. A lot of changes.

Master Anna: Indeed.

Silvia: We are in the middle of the changes. For that reason, the human needs to turn back to divinity so that the human can feel me, the peace, the divinity, the love, the calm.

The calm that they need to reflect to others. Because they’re going to come, asking for questions. And that’s our role, to be here, to guide them. The same way that we were guided, now it’s our turn to guide others.

Thank you, John. Thank you, Master Anna. It did make a change for this human to have these sessions. She’s more calm.

Master Anna: Yes.

Silvia: Thank you.

Master Anna: Thank you! It has changed us too. John and I have been on this journey with you. It has made a huge difference, so thank you for your part in it.

Who else?

Chris: The most interesting thing that’s been popping up for me recently is this feeling of joy, and this feeling of freedom. I noticed that my mind was still looking for me to complete certain tasks before I arrive at some state of consciousness in which I am joyful and I’m free and I’m living like we are back home on the other side of the veil, or something like that.

I woke up the other morning and my soul was there next to me, and I don’t know how to translate it properly, but he goes “You’re already in it. Like this, everything you have around you, enjoy it. Have as much fun as you can with it, as possible, because you are actually free. You just don’t realize it yet.”

You know, like I’ve still got conditioning running, and now… So I’m sort of waking up and I’m having this… Because we all have that drive to freedom. Perhaps when we’re back working in other jobs or, you know, being in the mass collective, there’s this feeling of, “This isn’t what I’m used to. This isn’t right,” in some senses.

And then, yeah, I’ve just noticed that it was a significant shift in perspective and feeling, you know.

It wasn’t like a mind-based excitement. It was a really deep level of joy and freedom, and understanding that all my energy is serving me so I can fully let go and just choose joy no matter what. Don’t do anything that I don’t enjoy, at all.

You know, and we work through that in phases, having to quit jobs and leave relationships and everything, and despite those changes I hadn’t been fully feeling the freedom. So that’s been coming through, which is lovely.

It’s like you can arrive when you decide to arrive, or when you realize that you have arrived.

Master Anna: Indeed.

Chris: It’s not an earning thing. Yeah.

So that’s been a nice feeling and adjustment that I’ve been making within myself.

What else? And just the presence of my divinity throughout my body as well, most of the day I just spend just being very present in my body, feeling the waves of energy around my body, and just letting that change things.

There’s so much assistance available. If the mind gets wound up in something, don’t touch it! Nothing, nothing, no fiddling with it, no figuring out. Just boom, straight into the body, and I watch these huge shifts happen so quickly, just with that blending coming, and, you know, everyone else coming in to assist.

So it’s lovely, and yes, that’s my perspective at the moment.

Master Anna: Thank you.

Monika?

Monika: Thank you! I can’t share so much.

I slept a lot in the last two weeks. I could feel… I heard your Colors of the Darkness, and it has touched me very deeply. And I could recognize that a lot of rememberings and habits came up. I could just recognize it more than before. It was quite intense.

Yeah, it’s a lot going on in me. Also, what you say, I can feel the changes. I can’t say, explain it so wonderfully like Chris, so magically how he can describe what he’s experiencing.

When I feel in me, then I just know I’m here. I’m divinity. And, yeah, there are these habits on a human level and these rememberings coming in waves over me, sometimes not so comfortably. Yeah, I’m here, and open to be fully, every moment, my divinity. And I’m very grateful for everything we could experience together with you, Master Anna and Master John.

It’s really a gift to meet you on a master level and as a human in the same moment, that you have let us experience in these sessions. Thank you very much.

Master Anna: You’re welcome, and thank you!

Monika: And I will also miss it for sure, and accept also your decision.

Master Anna: Yes, we’ll be back in some form or another.

Monika: Thank you.

Master Anna: Ahh…

I am divinity!

And so are you.

I have always been divinity, and so have you.

You just forgot.

It was by design. You needed to forget, in order to have the experience.

Now we are back. Our memories are back. And the true realization is realizing that, I am divinity.

There has never been anything else.

There has been a lot of imagination, a lot of reality constructs within imagination. But it is all divinity.

It is all within your own consciousness, your own imagination.

Mmm…

What an incredible, incredible experience for a sovereign being to be able to create this incredible reality and somehow join it with others, with the songs of the others, so that you have this shared playground.

Ah, what creators we are to have created that!

And now, to come full circle you could say, to step back, to step out of the painting…

We love the old Tobias metaphor of the artist and the painting. You painted this beautiful painting, and put a little key in the corner of it. Then you laid down on the couch and went to sleep, and a part of you went into that painting.

Then you, the experiencer, spent all this time exploring. Walking around in this living painting, exploring it, feeling it, learning in it. Now you come, you came, to that key. It’s like a little flag that said, “Hey, time to wake up!”

Hmm…

You woke up from your nap on the couch and you said, “I want to go into this painting with my human and feel it myself a little bit more, because now we are complete. It’s just this final experience of playing here, soul and human together, painter and experiencer together in the painting, and out of the painting.”

That experiencer has come home. It can look at the painting now from the couch, and see the whole big picture. And, it can be in there with the painter, showing her around.

But it is done. It is truly done!

Oh, the human thought that would mean that the human life turns into… Well, as the saying goes, into peaches and cream where everything is beautiful and smooth and goes just the way you want it to.

Well, that’s not how human reality is. And that’s the beauty of it, it surprises you! It has all these different contrasts, and you know what part of the day is the most beautiful. It’s when the sun is low and there are all these shadows everywhere, and all this contrast.

Hmm…

And that is where you are at now.

That contrast doesn’t go away, but now you have a whole different relationship to it. If you are willing to let go of trying to change it, trying to fix it, and you just take a breath and observe it, and allow it, ah, it’s so beautiful!

And you find that even the things that hurt occasionally, they don’t hurt nearly as bad when you’re not fighting them or thinking it’s something wrong.

You’ll find that as you stop fighting with your body, and struggling with it, it gets well quicker. It takes on less pain, and you start getting through this transformation process and your body begins to be something completely new and different.

Mmm…

It’s about letting go of the battles, all of the battles, and letting go of the agendas.

Oh, that doesn’t mean letting go of things you like, or at least not of the fact that you like them. But just like them, and sooner or later they are going to show up. Because that’s how creation works.

So often the human goes, “Oh, I like that! I want more of that! I need to get more of that! How do I do that?” And suddenly you are focused on not having it, and that’s what you create more of.

Oh, as you are learning, as you are experiencing, the more you can just let go: “Ah, I like that! Oh, I like this over here! Oh, that hurt a little bit, but that was an interesting experience!” Just be with the experiences instead of taking it as something wrong, something you need to do or fix or take responsibility for.

Oh, the more you can do that, just trust that inner knowing, the more life becomes a gentle flow.

Oh, sometimes an exciting flow, but more and more it’s a good flow. It’s a thrilling, amazing, beautiful flow.

Mmm…

Divinity is here.

You are divinity. Divinity is you. And it is everything around you.

Mmm…

The human wonders, “How can that be? So much chaos, so much craziness and violence in the world. Is that me too?”

Indeed, the part of it that you experience is indeed you.

It’s your own imagination, your own energies, coming together and forming into these experiences and these illusions of reality. And as you…

Well, when you fight those, and try to impose your agendas on those energies, it’s just a battle with yourself. When you let it be, when you step back behind the short wall that Tobias talked about so long ago and just observe, just allow it to be, allow the darkness to be, then you start to see through it.

And as dear Tobias said, you start to discover, to see, the incredible, colorful tapestry that is being woven in all of it.

Mmm…

And it’s not like any tapestry you’ve ever seen before. It’s so incredible, so beautiful! So many colors, colors you’ve never even imagined, shining out as part of your light.

Mmm…

So I invite you, right now…

Let’s take a few moments to imagine.

Oh, imagine this metaphor of Tobias, this wall. It’s just a divider around your home in Self.

It’s between you and everything that appears to be outside of you. Oh, and some things that are even inside of you that have been confusing you.

So, see them, and you step back.

It’s just a metaphor for stepping back and letting go, so you can truly observe and truly see what’s actually happening.

So within your own imagination right now, step back.

See all the life around you.

All the craziness, all the confusion, all the people.

Mmm…

Just watch.

Watch how each one is creating their own journey, their own path, into themselves.

They are going through all of these experiences.

Oh, you’ve been there.

You have been through so many of those experiences yourself, in many lifetimes.

Many, many lifetimes, and you have recreated many of them in this lifetime so you could bring a fresh perspective to them.

So, you see all of these things going on around you.

Mmm…

Now, shift your perspective a little bit. Broaden it out even more.

Imagine yourself looking through the eyes of your soul, this part of you that is, in a sense, outside of all of these things and is looking in, watching the game as it is played out in so many places and on so many levels.

Mmm…

Watch the celebrations as people here and there get it, and they open up and begin to catch a glimpse of the true nature of themselves, of their own divinity.

Mmm…

Oh, watch the ones who see that happening, and who haven’t been here yet. Who haven’t gone through all of this, and they are watching this happening. Who are watching you opening up to your own divinity, and watching the light as it blossoms from you.

And they are saying, “I want some of that!” and they are diving in. Diving into this dense reality. Diving into the pain and the darkness, and all of these chaotic experiences, so that they can discover the answer to the question, “Who am I, and how does all this energy work?”

Mmm…

As you look around at just the people that you know in your current lifetime, you’ll find people from all different levels of experience.

Some just got here. They don’t have a lot of experience yet. Some of them are still quite open to the other realms, but they don’t know what to do with that yet. They don’t have the wisdom to deal with that, and some of them go crazy.

Others have gained more experience, but they’ve closed down. Closed themselves off from their soul, from the other realms, so that they can focus in on these dark and intense experiences. So that, like you, they can find the wisdom there. Their own wisdom.

And then there are those in your life who are in various stages of finding their way back out, of opening up to who they truly are.

Mmm…

From this place, oh, if you get involved with them and try to fix them or save them, mostly it hurts you. It’s painful for you, because you don’t belong there anymore. You’ve been there, you’ve done that, you don’t need to anymore. You don’t need to have those experiences anymore.

You could say that it actually slows them down. But we won’t say that, because it is all part of the experience that they are creating.

From here, from this place, you are just observing.

From here, your compassion in allowing them to have their journey makes it so much easier for them.

When they see your light, they can tap into your wisdom.

Oh, they still have to have a lot of the experiences themselves. But they will have a much easier and quicker time of it, because of your wisdom.

It is not a wisdom that, for the most part, you can teach them. It comes through your light, much more than through any words.

Mmm…

And when they ask you questions, you will know exactly what words to give them.

But until they ask, just watch. Just observe.

Mmm…

Because your light is shining out. It is illuminating the pathway for them.

Even for the ones diving into the darkness, it will illuminate their journey back out.

Hmm…

What a beautiful time!

What a beautiful experience you have created!

Oh, the human is still trying to figure it out. Trying to figure out how to get enough money to get by, or what’s going wrong with the body, and all of that. Here again, come back behind that short wall and just observe.

Mmm…

If you haven’t yet, we highly recommend the last Shoud from the Crimson Circle. It’s all about this! A beautiful, beautiful message from Adamus.

Ahh…

But, just let go.

Just observe.

Mmm…

As you do, you will find all of those things gradually balancing out.

Maybe not the way you expected or that you thought they should, but in better ways, different ways, that serve you better.

Mmm…

Your body is indeed going through a death. Not the kind where you throw it away and leave the planet, but still a kind of death.

But it is much more than the body. It is the whole human identity that is dying, falling apart, falling away, making space for the divine body.

Mmm…

For the divine human experience.

It won’t ever be the same as it was before. It will be very different.

And getting through this transformation is confusing. It’s painful sometimes. It’s… John wants to say challenging, but we don’t like that word so much.

It’s not a challenge, it’s an opportunity. An opportunity to step back and allow your divinity to take charge, to orchestrate things.

Oh, you’ll know. When there is something for you to do as a human, you’ll know it in that moment. You’ll just find yourself doing it.

Other than that, your only real job is to observe!

Oh, and that’s not even a job. Just to let go and watch the scenery go by.

Mmm…

Somewhere on the website, John talked about his train experience. You may have seen it. We’ll ask John to put a link on the webpage, in the transcript or somewhere, to that message, where he first learned about Letting Soul Drive the Train, letting divinity drive the train, instead of… When he tries to drive it, it just crashes.

But when divinity drives, and he sits back and enjoys the ride, enjoys the scenery going past, then the ride becomes beautiful and smooth and amazing.

Mmm…

So that is your job.

Let go of the controls!

This old car is turning into…

Well, you’ve been going down the road, and now you are lifting into the air as this car, this old beat-up car, turns into a brand new high-performance jet airplane!

It’s really happening. But do you know how to drive that jet airplane?

Not really.

But your soul does. Your divinity does. Can you let it?

Hmm…

That’s the question we’ll leave you with for this session, for the next two weeks:

Can you allow your divinity to drive your life?

Your life that is becoming something so different that there is no way, no possibility, that the human can drive it safely. But divinity can, if you let it.

Can you let it?

Mmm…

That’s where you are at right now. Oh, you’re still hearing the crashing and banging as this vehicle transforms, but it is transforming. It is already lifting off the ground.

If you try to control it, it will crash. And it will hurt. And then it will jump back into the air and keep going.

But if you can just let divinity fly it, you’ll be amazed at the ride you have now. At the beauty of your life.

So consider that for the next two weeks. Let it in.

Mmm…

Allow yourself to fly, don’t try to make yourself fly.

You already are, just allow it to happen.

Allow divinity to be in charge, to do the flying.

It’s you.

It’s not somebody else, it’s you.

Allow that part of you to be in charge of your life.

Ahh…

And we will see you again in two weeks, and wrap up this series. This experience. This beautiful experience.

Ahh…

Such an honor and a pleasure to do this with you!

Each one of you, those who show up for the class all the time and those who read the transcript or watch the video later, thank you for being here, for being part of this!

And we will see you in two weeks.

Mmm…

And so it is.

Chris: Amazing. Thank you, John. Thank you, Master Anna.

John: Thank you, each one of you!

[thanks from participants]

John: These messages don’t just come from me and my soul. They come from you and yours also. So, see you in a couple of weeks. Romana sends her love to each of you, and she’s planning to be here next time.

[goodbyes]

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