I Am Divinity

Session 3

Channeled by John McCurdy during a live Zoom session on 8 November 2023

This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible. Note that Hmm, Mmm, and lines with just a dot signify places to pause, and to feel into what is being said.

Thank you to Chris Vandermeer for managing Zoom during the session, and for helping to prepare this transcript.

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John: Go ahead and play the music Chris, and we’ll see where we go.

[music plays]

Master Anna: I am that I am!

Master Anna of Magical Service.

Mmm…

Greetings, dear friends! And welcome home.

So, let’s begin with a little bit of hearing from you. How is your homecoming going for the past couple weeks?

Silvia: Good morning Master Anna.

Master Anna: Hello Silvia.

Silvia: Ahh, it’s been chaos here. Physically it’s ok, I am busy, as a human I am busy. But suddenly I was interested to look what’s going on in the world, and it’s something that I never do. But my soul told me to go and it’s time to expand, to go outside, because it was… Before it was only my own reality, but now I am kind of experiencing the world, and it’s chaos everywhere!

Master Anna: Indeed!

Silvia: It is chaos, but at the same time it is a way for me to experience the changes that are going on. Lots and lots of changes and, as a human, I get nervous. I get scared completely, trying to prepare, physically with food and water or whatever is needed.

And my Master tells me, “Don’t be worried, it’s just a transition. It is just happening. It’s going to happen fast.”

Master Anna: Yes.

Silvia: And yes, I notice different realities. Sometimes I feel one reality and then another reality.

How do I know? I know because the days outside looks different. Some days are very bright. Some days are very clouded. And the people also sometimes are happier, or sometimes I’m not.

So, and even myself, I can notice that. I can notice that sometimes I am, huh, now I’m cranky. Huh, now I’m pissed. Now I’m excited. So that’s how I notice the changes around me.

Master Anna: Beautifully said.

Yeah, so much chaos right now! And believe it or not, that’s a good thing.

Silvia: Yeah, this is a great opportunity to be here alive! To experience it in the first place, right?

Master Anna: Right.

Silvia: But you don’t say as though you’re excited!

[laughter]

Master Anna: Ahh, it’s a little rough for the human.

Silvia: It is.

Master Anna: Mmm…

How are you doing, Monika?

Monika: Thank you for asking me, Master Anna.

Yeah, I’m recognizing that my human is an old, strong fighter. And it’s chaotic in my life too. Not only outside. Nothing is as it was. Nothing is, in business life, working as it was before.

It’s a lot of up and down and a lot of resistance, and this is not working and that is not working. And the human is still struggling with this, trying to fix it, trying to make it flowing. And in the same moment, it’s a surrendering to the soul.

It’s all parallel. It’s in the same moment.

Master Anna: Yes.

Monika: There is no other chance, otherwise. [laughter]

It’s like the human is on a sinking boat at the moment. And yeah, the body is exhausted, feels exhausted, at the edge all the time, very vulnerable. But in me a strongness also, from the soul, from my divinity. This is my anchor, my anchor point. That’s me, and the rest feels a bit overwhelming, but it’s more and more that I deeply recognize it’s not my truth.

And this wee, I have to do a lot with energies, feeding energies from clients, from people around me. It’s interesting. It’s energies—I mean, this is also me, a part of me who is trying to distract me from my truth, and I don’t allow it anymore.

It’s a human story, but I tell it. I just was out and came back just now. I had to do something for my business and I came home five minutes before four o’clock, and in front of the door was standing an ex-partner of me and he came here to see me from another country. And he was in total joy to see me, and I was on the way to this workshop, to myself, to my divinity, and I had to let him stand in front of the door because I am more important, myself, my divinity. I have an appointment with myself here, and this is a good feeling.

It is my choice, and it’s why I’m here.

Master Anna: And we honor that choice.

Monika: And everything else has to just look after itself.

[laughter]

Thank you that I could share it. I’m very joyful that you are here Master Anna, and Chris and Silvia. Thank you.

Master Anna:  Mmm…

So what about you, Chris? We know you’ve been going through some chaos lately also.

Chris: Yes, I had some beautiful chaos in my life, which wasn’t chaos at all. I finished up my experiences with the group of people I was originally in Peru with.

Before I got to Peru, I had some clear guidance in terms of what was coming up, and basically I had a strong sense that it wasn’t going to be with them, but I was with them for a reason.

And there were some quite deep-seated patterns within myself that took fourteen months for me to see through, and to acknowledge and to accept and love. And basically, that experience had served its purpose and I went through—I’m still pretty tired from it, but I went through a rapid relocation and finishing up of those dynamics, which has been amazing, and I can finally breathe again. And I wake up and the first thing I feel is the presence of my true self. And I’m back in my own flow, my own trust.

I’m back living how I’ve been used to living, for the past three years especially, I guess, but outside of some really messy power dynamics and manipulation dynamics, which I’m very glad to be free of.

And now stepping into… Similar to what you just said, Monika, I feel like I’m stepping into a state now where there is just trust, just trust and faith in myself. Now I’ve got no idea what’s coming next week.

I know there’s lots of lovely things coming, but I’m back in that nice flow where I just wake up and I immediately feel my body, feel the energy flowing around my body, and say, “All right, what are we doing today? What’s on today for the human,” you know? and allowing that full expression of my divinity in my life and in my energies. So, I’m feeling really good at the moment. Exhausted as well, but we’re all going through massive energy changes.

My dreams are quite dense. I don’t know if you guys are having this, but my dreams definitely feel like I’m clearing out a lot of old energy.

So for me it’s like Australia. But, like, high school relationships and that sort of stuff has been clearing out as well, and just observing. So, yeah, I’m feeling a bit gritty, a bit gritty and worn down from that at night, but everything else is grand.

I have a place, I have a garden, I have my dog. No complaints. And I’m here with you guys. How good is that?

Master Anna: Ahh…

We’re all glad you’re here!

Ahh…

Oh, we’ll share a little bit on John’s behalf here, for he’s been going through the chaos too! He and Romana… Oh, they’re doing just fine in their relationship, and John doesn’t want us to raise questions about that, because it’s beautiful!

But life, oh, life is so chaotic! And John’s been noticing things falling apart, or just not working. His phone, which he really loved, died the other day. And the money’s been really tight, and part of him is going, “What am I even still doing here?”

But here we are, and what we’ve been realizing together, he and I, is that, well, you asked for change. He wanted to be free, and still be here, at least somewhat, in this game.

Well, that means that everything has to change. The very structure of reality, as you know it, is changing. In order to have the new, the old has to fall away. It has to fall apart sometimes.

And yes indeed, the chaos is here to stir up those old energies and kick them out where you don’t need them anymore, and bring in new energies.

Oh, it makes everything very confusing for the human! But that’s okay, because you are not a human anymore. You are a sovereign, divine, master being.

Mmm…

Let me say again, welcome home!

Because that is where you are.

You are back once again, looking in the eyes of this other part of you. Not just looking in her eyes, but blending together into this grand being that is so full of wisdom.

Mmm…

We want you to feel into that grandness.

Oh, feel back into the grandness from which you came.

This grand being became aware of itself and asked, “Who am I?”

Hmm…

She is so grand that in her own imagination this part of her jumped up and said, “I will show you! I am going to go have all these experiences and show you who I am, who we are together!”

And that is what you’ve been doing.

Oh, there hasn’t been any failure. You haven’t gotten anything wrong, even though the human thought it did so many times.

Mmm…

John was listening to an old channel the other day. Tobias was talking to him, and telling him how one day he would be channeling the Divine Feminine. Oh, this was nearly 20 years ago and John was like, “Why would I do that? I’m a guy. Why would I channel the divine feminine? I’m not sure I even want to channel anybody!” And now here he is, channeling his own Divine Feminine.

Then he heard a part in that channel that he didn’t remember. Tobias said, “You know, back in Atlantis, I looked up to you. You were a great leader, and later we became colleagues and we worked together.”

John heard that and thought, Really? Tobias looked up to me?

Yes indeed!

And each one of you has been in that place. You were leaders in your angelic families, and you have been leaders on Earth. Great leaders! And oh, many times!

You don’t remember them all because it would be distracting in this life, but you have been.

I want you to feel that essence of yourself, that grandness.

You know it. You know that energy.

Oh, there is a part of you, just like John, that is afraid of it. Because there were times when you were leaders and you didn’t know what to do with that. You didn’t know how to manage the people effectively, and the people didn’t really give you a chance to manage them, or to be a great leader with them, and you felt like a failure. And since then you’ve shied away from leadership.

Hmm…

All John can remember, his main memory of leadership, is being a king somewhere back in the middle ages, in England or someplace, and feeling like he was such a failure at that. He’s never wanted to be a leader since then, and he’s done his best to avoid it.

Mmm…

But he has also been other leaders, who were very effective and very well loved, at other times. And it’s time to remember those.

For each of you, feel into those times and places where you were grand, where people loved you. Where you were a good leader.

You have been there, each one of you.

And yes, each one of the ones who will be listening in later. We are not just talking to the people that are here right now.

Each one of you in this class and who will come in later, each one of you has been a grand, grand leader, multiple times in your grand experience.

I ask you to feel into that.

Feel what that felt like.

Oh, let go of the times where it didn’t feel like it worked out. Those were grand also, in their own way, but first you need to feel those times when you felt grand and let those energies come back, back into your life right here.

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There’s nothing to do. Just allow them.

Allow that grandness back in.

You have the wisdom now, and you are not going to mess it up again.

You have the wisdom.

You have your soul.

You have your wholeness.

You have your home.

You’ve been searching for a home, oh, ever since you left!

Ever since you went out and said, “I’m going to show myself who I am!”

Ever since then… Well, you forgot what you were doing, and all you could think about was, “I have to get home somehow, and to somehow fill that empty place in me!”

What a beautiful setup!

And now here you are. That place is filled.

Feel it within you.

Feel that grandness of home within you, the beauty.

Let it fill you.

Breathe it in.

Breathe it into your body.

It’s not going to overcome you, it’s not going to push you into places where you feel too vulnerable.

It will bring up some of the places where you do feel vulnerable, so that you can move through that and let it go.

As you realize your grandness, you’ll realize that there is nothing to fear. Nothing at all.

You will realize that you no longer need to let people walk over you just to keep the peace.

You are the peace.

It doesn’t matter what they do anymore, because you are home and you have something that they are still searching for.

They’ll find it when they are ready, but you are home. You have your peace. You have your fulfillment. You have your grandness.

And as you allow that feeling more and more in your life—oh, don’t look for it outside of you, just imagine it!

Imagine it! What you imagine is real.

Imagine your grandness.

Mmm…

You are wise enough now to not turn that into power, or to take it as ‘grand over’ anybody else. You’ve had enough of that.

But, oh, you are such grand beings! You carry so many colors with you, for lack of a better term, in the non-physical realms.

Oh, your soul walks around—it’s you!—it walks around, metaphorically, in the other realms and the other beings look at you, and oh, they are so in awe because of the colors of your wisdom and your experience!

Mmm…

They look at this little human down here on Earth and go, “Wow, why are you struggling so hard with these things in your life?”

[John pauses to turn off an alarm]

Sorry, we should have turned that off!

Ahhh…

There is a reason for everything, including the interruptions.

Mmm…

Feel the grandness of you.

.

Hmm…

.

Let’s pause here for a little bit.

I invite each of you to share some of the feelings that come up around your grandness, and share something about how it feels for you.

Silvia?

Silvia: I do realize that I am grand. And I also realized that in these times, we are the ones that we need to lead the people.

As our humans are scared, so does the other people. So we have the wisdom.

We need to lead them by all this chaos, but this is going to pass. Necessary for everyone so we can let go the old, and the new coming.

We cannot imagine what the new is, because it’s like the whole world is going to shine. Little by little, one by one.

But we are the leaders. We chose to come here to lead the people, just to come here to do the changes that are coming now. This is our time.

But first, we need to realize who we are.

We are so grand! So grand that we are realizing little by little. We cannot realize it all at once. Little by little.

It’s our time to shine.

Master Anna: Indeed!

Silvia: Welcome, everyone. Welcome!

Master Anna: Thank you, Sylvia.

Thank you for sharing your grandness!

Silvia:My goodness! It feels like …. shivering. A lot of shivering! A lot of energy in my body! Isn’t this exciting times?

Master Anna: Yes!

Silvia: I’m so excited! I’m so happy, because I can see it when the changes… I can see, I can notice the changes. Even though some people, they don’t realize that they are happening and what they have in front of them. But they are here!

It’ll pass. It’ll pass.

Master Anna: Yes!

Mmm…

How is your grandness, Monika?

Monika:I had a bit of struggles to imagine it at the moment, because my human life at the moment feels not so grand. It’s more crumbling everything, but I had last week a dream, and I was walking through a valley and this valley was surrounded with huge mountains. I never saw so huge mountains in my life, and they were so, so bright and shiny with snow on the top and it was so majestic.

I still can feel it, how grand this was, what I saw. And this, I saw this and this is my grandness I have experienced in the dream last week. I can bring this to me, and I could feel in the same moment also a bit anger about Uncle Adamus. [laughter]

Yeah, I… Perhaps also a bit about myself, that I’m still dependent on what he’s saying and I make it to my own truth. I have sometimes the feeling that I’m running behind the carrot still, and this carrot is not coming through. It’s the fear of the human. [laughter]

And I could feel a bit of anger that I’m not allowing myself to really be this grandness I am.

Because ten days ago it was Q and A, something in Keahak. I haven’t heard it a second time, only once, and what I heard is, “Yeah, if you don’t have the joy and the abundance in your life, then choose it now or come over. And I was in a way pissed off when I heard that on him, perhaps the second time in my life that I really was angry about him, and also tired to hear it.

Because I trust it always when I’m home, when I’m with my soul, then everything is coming to me. And now he’s telling me again I have to choose it, otherwise I can’t experience it.

And this was such a disappointment, in a way, for myself.

But why is it a disappointment? It’s because I don’t allow myself this grandness to be.

I’m struggling here, Master Anna. And when you tell me I’m still not worthy enough, you know, when will I be worthy enough? Then I just can’t anymore.

Master Anna: Indeed.

Hmm…

So, are you worthy enough?

Monika: Yes, I am.

Master Anna: Indeed!

Monika: But still struggles are here and everything upside down, and still Adamus is telling you have to choose it otherwise you have to come over.

Master Anna: Well, we won’t try to speak for Adamus here, but yes, we feel what you mean.

Monika: I just want to experience it now. I’m here for that. I would like to feel it and see it also in my life. I want to be it. When I say ‘I want’ then it sounds from the head, but I’m speaking from my whole being.

Master Anna: [nodding]

We hear you.

Your soul hears you.

Mmm…

Monika:I could shout out and cry, and I don’t know what to do, but it’s like an explosion of I have enough.

Master Anna: We think maybe one of the best things Adamus ever said was in the last shoud when he said, “Just relax.”

Monika: Yeah.

Master Anna: You have to remember that Adamus is, well, he’s one third Saint Germain, who is a master. He’s one third Geoff and Linda, and he’s one third all of Shaumbra. So different parts show up at different times and we have to use our own discernment about what is true for us.

And right now, what we want you to feel is your own grandness, your own worthiness.

You are worthy!

Oh, it doesn’t matter if you have money in the bank or not.

It doesn’t matter if you are broke and on the street.

Ha! The human doesn’t like that too much, but it’s true.

When you relax, when you enjoy life…

Oh, John saw something on Facebook the other day. Somebody was quoting a recent Kryon channel where Kryon was apparently shouting, “Will you trust? Will you trust?” And we would echo that.

Can you trust?

Can you trust your own soul?

Can you trust your own journey?

Can you trust your own river, and let it carry you?

Hmm…

It is going to carry you through some turbulent times, and some amazing times.

Can you trust it?

Can you trust it enough to put yourself first in each moment?

Oh, that’s the hard part, because the human, the mind, goes, “Well, but if I put myself first in this moment, I’m not going to be earning the money I need to pay the bills in the next moment.”

And that is the human illusion.

And indeed, you might not earn the money to pay the bills that you think you need to pay. But maybe that’s because those things don’t need to be paid anymore. Maybe that’s because there is something new coming towards you, if you can just allow the space to be made for it.

We can’t tell you how to navigate that. It’s a personal journey for everybody. It’s something John has a lot of experience with, trying to figure out that… Ahh, that line, he calls it. But it’s not really a line at all.

It’s just, will you trust? Can you relax?

And whatever you do, do it because it brings you peace in your heart. Because it opens you up. Because it feels like you.

Hmm…

And no, there is nobody who is going to drag you over to the other side if you don’t have enough money right now!

Mmm…

Allow your own light.

Allow your own river to carry you.

And you can’t really help it, it’s going to happen.

It already is happening.

Just let it.

Monika:Thank you, Master Anna.

Master Anna: Mmm… Indeed!

How about you, Chris?

Chris: Well, the topic of grandness is appropriate. I’m just feeling into, prior to this move I kept being shown that I had parts of myself that were willing to let others drive my life. And lovely Kuthumi dropped into a dream and he said, “You know, your Atlantean trauma is in the driver’s seat right now, and that’s why you’re so pissed off. Because you can feel that this driving force in your life is still Atlantean trauma.”

You know, I was literally living with my mother back when Atlantis fell. And part of the reason I was moved, or I chose to move, and I was moved with the support of everyone else, was that now is the time for me to fully step up and embody myself and to be doing my own thing under no uncertain terms.

I had bulls. Like, sometimes in dreams, I don’t know if you guys do this, you get shown animal symbolism, like shamanic symbolism, perhaps from our lives as a shaman or something, and I always google it and it’s always so appropriate. So appropriate.

And I started having bulls come, and I thought, “Oh, I’m not a very ‘bull energy’ type of person. There must be a big shift coming!” And it was. It’s all about that. It’s like grabbing the bull by the horns. It’s like taking charge of your life, you know, having that driving force. And that’s embodiment. That’s embodying our grandness.

And realistically, I know what I’m here to do. I know what the next steps are for me that are appropriate. I just need to stop talking myself out of it and pretending that I don’t know, or that I know less than I know, or that I have less capability, and all of that. And I really felt a beautiful integration just during that short piece talking about grandness.

Ah, yeah, I don’t have much else to add, but it just feels really beautiful to accept that and to embody that, and to not talk oneself out of that anymore.

Master Anna: Indeed!

We want to add a little piece to that, because there are points in your life when, oh, it is about taking the bull by the horns. And you know what to do and you’re just scared to do it, and that’s when you make a choice and you do it anyway, even if you’re afraid. You walk through the fear, and oh, it’s so liberating!

And there are other points in life where it’s not so clear what to do, and that’s the time to trust. To let the river carry you. To surrender to the river of your own soul, your own life, and let it show you what to do.

Oh, you have to be willing, when it does show you, to do the scary things that you know in your heart need to be done. And to make the choices that you can feel need to be made. And then just make them, and let the river carry you through them.

Mmm…

And don’t let anybody, whether it’s Adamus or me or anybody else, ever tell you that you are less than incredibly grand!

Hmm…

We’ve done a couple of personal channels for people in the last couple of days, and the message is always the same. Their soul is telling them, “Please hear me when I say, you are so grand!”

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This integration is a done deal. It’s all done!

It’s just walking through, getting through, the habits now. And even that is a little too strong, in a way.

It’s not a should. It’s something that is just happening. You don’t have to make it happen. You don’t have to do it right. All you need to do is allow yourself to feel your grandness.

It’s there. It’s inside of you. You know it’s there. But so often the human is afraid to let that in, afraid it’ll turn into another ego trip or another power game. But it’s not. You are wiser than that now. You recognize those things, and you are not going to do it again. And even if you do, it doesn’t matter.

This thing is done. Welcome home!

Now, just let the river carry you through this chaos, this chaos of transformation.

Even when it seems like it’s ripping apart everything in your life, everything you thought was important, it’s just making space for something better, something grander.

It’s just making space for you to be able to see and feel how grand you are, how beautiful you are, how beautiful you are to your own soul.

Mmm…

I ask you right now to feel your own soul.

If you are not sure how to do that, just open up. Imagine it.

Imagine this grand, beautiful being in front of you.

You can feel your soul’s grandness. You can see it.

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Now, can you look in your soul’s eyes and see your own human eyes there?

Can you feel as your soul embraces you?

As it blends with you?

All that grandness. It’s all you!

It’s not some being out there in the universe that you’re trying to figure out how to get back to. It’s you, right here, right now!

And it’s telling you,“I love you so very much! Can you let in my grandness, and claim it as your own? Because it is yours. It is you.”

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[pause to feel]

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Mmm…

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We’ll leave you with that.

Over the next two weeks until we meet here again, feel your grandness.

It’s right there. It is you.

If you can’t feel it, imagine your soul and allow yourself to see its grandness.

Feel, as it gathers you in and reminds you that you are it, and it is you.

That means that you too are so grand!

Mmm….

And so it is.

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[group chatter and goodbyes]

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