I Am Divinity

Session 15

Channeled by John McCurdy during a live Zoom session on 24 April 2024

This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible. Note that Hmm, Mmm, and lines with just a dot signify places to pause, and to feel into what is being said.

Thank you to Chris Vandermeer for managing Zoom during the session, and for helping to prepare this transcript.

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John: Welcome everybody, good to see you again!

I feel completely blank right now as for what’s going to happen today, so I guess that means it’s time to play the music and find out.

[music plays]

Master Anna: I am that I am!

Master Anna, of Magical Service.

John keeps wondering why we keep saying that, “of magical service.” That’s because it’s true. We are here to do some magic today. And besides, it’s fun to say.

So greetings, everyone. Welcome back!

Hmm…

We are having to bring John in from a new place, because there was so much that happened last weekend at our workshop. Oh, so much!

You’ll hear some of it. Probably tomorrow we’ll release a channel called, The Colors of Darkness.

Ahh…

So much moving! So much happening! And each of you were present, even if you didn’t know it. Part of you was there. Part of you felt it.

Mmm…

So, let’s start with our check-ins. How have the last two weeks been for you?

And of course, any questions you may have at this point.

Silvia.

Silvia: Hi, Master Anna.

Master Anna: Hello.

Silvia: Last weeks… I’m trying to figure out if I open my eyes or close the eyes.

Last two weeks, I felt a lot of butterflies in my stomach. As a human, I realize that that is not me. But it’s me. It’s a creation of me. But as a human, I thought that I was going crazy because every day, every day it is a different aspect, a different personality, a different emotion.

Me as a human, I, at the beginning I was fighting it. That caused me frustration. I’m learning. I’m learning not to fight it, to welcome it as a human. It is hard, because it’s not everyday feelings. Those feelings are the ones that I hate.

I don’t like to feel them, that’s why I hid them. But they are here. They want to come… They are coming back because they want to be part of me. For indeed, they are me. that’s a big realization right there!

It’s not easy, but I’m happy that it’s happening.

Master Anna: Indeed, thank you!

It’s a huge realization.

Mmm…

Who else?

Monika.

Monika: I moved between feeling deep joy, and frustration and depression. It was a back and a forward, feeling into the Master. Feeling deep joy, and feeling depressed the next moment.

And I created a story for myself around your workshop. I wanted so much to be there, and I made myself dependent if my partner is also traveling with me to Slovenia. Because it’s not an easy journey from Switzerland to the place you are. It’s a bit around several curves… [laughter]

And before I met him, I was, in this, totally independent, and I just did what I wanted to do. But since I’m with him, I make myself dependent if he’s also doing it, or traveling, at least, with me there.

And I was frustrated about myself, that I’m doing this, and that, yeah… I made myself dependent on how my business is running at the moment, and that he is not coming with me. But I felt sadness that I didn’t do it, that I didn’t sign up.

Yeah, it’s a very good experience for me, that I felt it so deeply.

Master Anna: Yes.

Mmm…

Monika: And it brought me more clarity about what I’m choosing for myself.

Thank you!

Master Anna: Thank you!

And, we feel you present at a future one, at just the right time for you.

Mmm…

Chris: I’m just burning.

I’m just burning. Lots of anxiety, anger. Anxiety, anger and not too much else, really. Just  a lot of density leaving the system. Same, same.

And then at night when I’m falling asleep, and when I’m waking up, my sense of time is dropping away. And I watch the mind start to freak out, because, like this, our current—well, my current perception of time, is changing.

Like, I can feel my divinity coming into the body, where all of a sudden it just doesn’t make sense. Like, it starts to feel like I could shift wherever I want to, and… It’s not happening yet. I mean, I have friends where that’s frequently happening. They’re not even in twenty—whatever it is, 2024, more than, you know, thirty percent of the time. So it will come.

Yeah, that’s been the upsides of it. And then, what else… Judgment dropping away as well, seeing judgment for what it is, seeing the more subtle layers of judgment. Like it’s really easy to say, you know, this is stupid, or this is that, but then as I’m sinking deeper into myself and seeing more from the perspective of the I Am, I’m just noticing how judgment creeps into your perception a lot more, in a lot more subtle ways.

And I’m starting to feel that little extra… It’s like a density to your perception, you know, where you’re kind of sticky to things because there’s just this unconscious response of wanting things to be a particular way, wanting things not to be a particular way, and what have you. So as that’s dropping away, there’s a lot more freedom as well.

And, what else? Taking myself too seriously.

I got a slap on the wrist one night from Michael. He’s like, “Mate, you take yourself so seriously! Why aren’t you laughing more?” It was him and Rafael saying, “Lighten up, please! Please, you’re so serious!” So, I’m lightening up a bit.

Just being a bit too hard on myself, you know. Because when things start to burn… I don’t know, I’m sure you guys don’t do this at all, but when things start to burn the mind goes, “Oh no, what am I doing wrong? This hurts! What am I doing wrong?” And obviously a lot needs to burn.

So yeah, that’s me.

Master Anna: Yeah, we never do that…

Chris:Exactly. No one here, right? [laughter]

Master Anna: John never does that! [laughter]

Chris: Yeah, exactly!

So that’s me. Thanks guys!

Master Anna: Certainly, Romana never does that! [laughter]

Romana: Yeah, what are you talking about, Chris? I don’t even know…

[laughter]

Yeah, in this channel that John will publish in a few days, it’s about darkness and how now it’s… So much darkness is coming up, so much these feelings and emotions and all kinds of stuff that we pushed down and pushed down, and to me it’s like, every day it’s like some new package of, who? Who? Who is coming up? So I’m just allowing it, and some days it’s very strong.

So I kind of got used to it, to the point that I don’t find it disturbing anymore. It just feels like, oh, you know, it’s some kind of dust coming up. And after a while, especially if I am allowing to feel it, or if I allow to just be it, or acknowledge it somehow, or…

I have my own ways, like for me it’s like, sometimes, you know, the ways how to allow it smoother, when these anxieties come or judgments or… Sometimes I like to go in the nature for a walk, or just lie down and just feel, or just listen to a recording that kind of makes my mind busy so I can relax and allow this.

To me, it feels like a releasing of tensions in my body that have been there for maybe thousands of years, or hundreds of years. So yeah, this is something that happens a lot this last… I don’t even know how… I wanted to say last weeks, but then I realized it’s months or even years. [laughter]

But it’s definitely very intense this winter and this spring, this process. And on the other hand, it gives space to more love in me, so I can feel more space for the love of my soul to come to me, and more compassion for human.

There were so many… In the past I was quite strict on my human, quite like, what is conscious and what is unconscious, and what is spiritual and what is enlightened, and all that. So, I’m kind of really releasing all that mind definitions and perceptions. And giving up on understanding lots of things, actually.

What’s happening is, I’m kind of many times losing my words. I just don’t have anything to say in this place of stillness within. Also now, I feel like I’m going to stop this talking, because yeah, it just feels like there are not many words. But on the other hand, it feels like lots is moving, and beautiful things are coming and are already here.

And I can relate to you, Monika, too. You know, sometimes I feel so much that I almost betray myself in some decisions, or… especially when there is so many things happening and I need to relate to this person and this and that. And then I realize, oh, I didn’t speak up for what I really wanted! Or, I was just feeling just so powerless in some situation that I didn’t really—wasn’t even aware of how this person actually kind of allowed myself to be kind of going some direction but it’s not really me, or how it would serve me better. But even that, I realized I just sometimes need to let go of these judgments of me, because life is just going so quick and sometimes I just can’t be perfect, or something. You know, I can’t be even perfectly faithful to myself. So even that is okay.

And I’m very happy to be here again!

Master Anna: Ahh…

Thank you!

Mmm…

[a pause]

Speaking of short on words, even Soul gets short of words sometimes! Ha ha!

Or the mind feels so much that it’s hard to find the words…

So, we’re going to shift the energies just a little bit here and bring in a dear friend.

[a pause as we shift the energies]

Yeshua: Greetings!

Greetings, my dear friends!

I am Yeshua. The one you knew two thousand years ago, the one the church calls Jesus.

Ahh…

And I am here as a representative of you, of your own soul. Each of you were part of the group that created me, that placed a part of your own soul into me as I was birthed on Earth.

You placed a part of yourself into me, and so if you feel deep right now, you’ll feel that part of you speaking through me.

Ahh…

Oh, I am so thrilled watching you! You the masters. You who have gone beyond anything I knew in that lifetime. You who would create a class called I Am Divinity, which is, oh, I didn’t quite have those words for it when I was there, but that’s what I came to show you, and to reflect to you.

I am divinity!

You are divinity!

Mmm…

And as you will hear in this channel that will be coming out soon, divinity includes the darkness.

Ha! There has been quite a bit of discussion about what exactly that is.

Well, as was said in that channel, the darkness is everything that you don’t like, whether it is inside of you or outside of you.

That is the darkness, as humans perceive it. It includes all those things that you didn’t like, and you pushed them away. But they are part of you and they can’t really go away, so your soul said, “I’ll take those.”

So much love! So much compassion!

Your soul said, “I will take those feelings, and I will hold them until the right time.”

That time is now. But it is not your job, as the human, to bring those parts of you home. That is your soul’s job, and it is happening naturally and beautifully.

Mmm…

Ha! I could do what I did in that lifetime because I didn’t have a lot of baggage.

When you come in, you come in with all of this baggage from all of your previous experiences. Well, not all of them, because your soul holds them. It only lets you bring in a little bit, to kind of give some flavor to your lifetime, to your experiences here. But it is your soul’s job to integrate all of that.

I came in, and I could do what I did because I didn’t have all of that. Oh, you gave me some little bits of your own, the flavors of it, sort of, but mostly I only had to deal with what was present in that lifetime. And that was hard enough. I can hardly even imagine what you, dear masters, have come through, but here you are. You have come through!

Your aspects… It’s time to stop talking about them as ‘other’ parts of you. They are not. They are here. They are home.

Oh, you are still feeling those memories. You are still feeling some of the energies that are in the process of releasing from your body. But for the most part, it is all done.

You are home.

Ahh…

Let’s go visit that place, that point, before time and after time, outside of time, where you discovered yourself and asked, who am I?

And a part of you jumped up and said, “I’ll go find out!” and dove into the experience.

And you, dear human, you are that part.

You have been through all of these experiences. And now, in your completion, you come back to that point. You come back to your soul.

Oh, you expect your soul to be this grand shining being. And she is.

But if you adjust your perception just right, you will notice that she is pure black. At least from a certain perspective, because she is the darkness. She holds all of those things you didn’t like. She is the one bringing them home, welcoming them.

You the human, you are just allowing the process. But as you come back with all of this experience, with all of the wisdom that came from that experience, you are the grand shining being.

Hmm…

Oh, let’s not get caught up in taking things too literally. There are so many different ways to look at this, and they are all true.

But here you are. Just imagine for a little bit the darkness of your soul, of your divinity, as she wraps her arms around the brightness of you, the experiencer.

And as you blend together…

Ahh…

Look at the colors.

Mmm…

Oh, her darkness doesn’t dim your brightness in any way. Nor does your brightness diminish her darkness, but it all blends together and turns into something beyond…

It turns into colors.

Incredible colors! Incredible clarity!

Dear Tobias talked about the white and the black marbles coming together and becoming clear. And indeed, that’s a beautiful way to see it.

But there is also the colors.

The white and the black, or the light and the dark, they were the original duality. And now we go beyond duality.

We don’t end what you call duality, we go beyond it.

Now there is color! Color in your life, color in your being.

And it is because of all this stuff you call darkness, and light.

Mmm…

And this…

This is what I came to show you, two thousand years ago.

Oh, I didn’t have the understanding clear enough to truly show you, but I planted the seed. And you have nurtured it to the blossom.

Ahh…

This grand, colorful blossom!

And you, as you go forward, not as the human alone, not as the light or the dark, but as all, as divinity itself, as the light and the dark of divinity… As you go forward your beauty, your grandness, radiates out!

Even if you the human don’t feel it, or have trouble feeling it is still radiating out!

The other angels, the beings who can see you, oh, they bow to you in awe because you are so grand and your colors are so beautiful!

And as you go forward, those colors come into your life in ways you can’t even imagine yet.

Oh, you have to remember they are all the colors, and there will be some that aren’t so comfortable. But as you simply allow them to be, allow those feelings to be, you’ll find they are not so bad. And you will begin to see their beauty also.

Mmm…

Oh, so much beauty coming into your life!

You are home now.

You don’t need to worry about integration ever again. It is being handled.

Just trust what you feel.

Trust yourself.

Nurture yourself. That’s really important going forward!

Make it your priority to nurture yourself, no matter what anybody else around you expects.

No matter what else is happening in your life, make sure you nurture yourself. Because you need it.

That is how you let the light into your own being, into your own body.

Oh, your light is shining! It’s so bright! It is changing the world, already, and you don’t need to do anything about that!

But most Shaumbra are having a bit of a difficult time allowing that light into their own bodies, into their own beings.

Mmm…

We were talking with someone last evening in a private channel, and this person’s soul talked of absorbing the light.

Oh, you are radiating it so brightly! But can you allow yourself to absorb a little bit of it?

That’s difficult for you, for a lot of different reasons. You’ve been disappointed in the past. It’s been held away from you in the past. You’ve been punished for it in the past. So part of you wants to hold it just outside of you, because you feel like it’ll be safer.

But the time has come. You need that light, that energy. You need it inside of you.

You need that warmth inside of you.

Hmm…

So can you allow yourself to open to it?

Don’t try to shine it on you. That’s unnecessary. It’s a mind game.

It is already here. But can you allow yourself to absorb some of it? To let it penetrate you and soak into you like one of those warm infrared heat lamps?

Mmm…

Let it nurture you, whatever it takes!

If it’s a warm bath, if it’s to stop and read a book or watch a movie, or whatever it takes to give yourself a break, to nurture yourself. Do that.

But there is an even deeper way of nurturing yourself, and that is to trust yourself.

To trust that knowing that comes from inside of you.

It’s gentle.

It’s not exciting like your emotions.

It’s just a gentle knowing that says, “Ah, wouldn’t it be nice to do this, or that?”

Well, the biggest way you can nurture yourself is to do whatever that is, to trust that feeling. Because that is going to guide you

That is your soul talking to you, communicating with you. And when you start to trust that, to act on those impulses that come… You could say they come from your heart, but we don’t want to define it that strictly. It comes from deep inside of you, and it just feels good.

If you trust those impulses, and act on them, they will guide you!

They’ll guide you into a magical life, a life that is less stressful.

Oh, you’ll still find ways to make it stressful sometimes, because the mind worries about everything. But as you begin to trust these impulses, you’ll find that life becomes so much easier and so much less stressful.

Then, for the most part, you’ll stop creating stress. But it takes a lot of trust, and it takes discernment.

Your mind will bring in these stories and emotions about what you should be doing, and they’ll feel exciting. Or scary. Or both. And they will, pretty much always, lead you into more stress.

The gentle knowing in your heart, in your body. Trust that! It is the biggest thing you can do to nurture yourself.

But you have to trust it. And it only shows up in the moment, for the moment.

Oh, it can show you potentials for the future. It can say, “Hey, it’s time to buy an airplane ticket!” Or not.

But you can only find your soul, and its guidance in the now moment.

Because the soul doesn’t have past or future. It only has NOW, so that is the only place you can find it.

And NOW is the only place you can nurture yourself.

Hmm…

So, we are going to let this session be a little bit short today. There is another one coming. Oh, probably tomorrow, real soon, we’ll be sending it out. It’s called The Colors of Darkness, and I urge you to listen to it.

And I will be there! I was here for the workshop, and they even let me open it!

Ahh…

And I will be there with you, as you experience this incredible opening that is happening.

Mmm…

So, I wish you a beautiful two weeks.

Master Anna is right here, also wishing you an incredible two weeks of being home with you.

Mmm…

And so it is.

Chris: Thank you, John! Thanks Yeshua! Thank Master Anna!

Silvia: Welcome back!

John: Ahh… Thank you all for being here!

Silvia: As always, it’s good to be here.

Monika: Thank you deeply from my heart, Master Anna, and all of you, including the cat in Peru! [laughter]

Chris: Ha! That’s Sonia. She started rubbing her face on the back of the laptop and I said no.

Silvia: I had my eyes closed so I missed it.

Chris: Yeah, she’s gone. I’ll show you next time. She’s very cute. She’s very overweight.

We found out that she was going, well, she has always been doing it. But she goes out the back and she bites the corners of the cat food bags so that she can get into the bottom of it.

And then she’s very demanding with having food available all the time, so she’s kind of obese. She’s not my cat. My girlfriend is actually cat-sitting her for a friend who’s gone overseas. Anyway, she’s got a personality on her. She’s cute. She’s… Yeah.

Monika: She just knows how to nurture herself.

Chris: Yeah, that’s exactly it! The self-love right there, unlimited food!

Silvia: There is a video on tiktok where they play a small part of a cat doing sounds, and they reproduce a music. There’s some humans reproducing the music from the animal, and they make a rhythm. And they put words. It’s funny! If they only talk, we’re able to talk yeah.

Chris: Yeah, maybe we’ll have cat translators via AI in the next few years, though who knows what’s going to happen there.

Silvia: Yeah, for babies, right?

Monika: I’m looking forward for your session you are sharing, John, very much.

John: I should have it out tomorrow. I’ve got it mostly ready.

Monika: Thank you very much. It’s very kind.

Romana:I just wanted to add about this nurturing, how I’m finding myself needing really lots of rest these days, and lots of sleep also. And just lying in the bed and feeling whatever I feel, and opening to this light, or absorbing, whatever. You know, however we call it, but just being in this receptive place of me. Yeah, just receptive. Not active, not… Sometimes I like to watch a movie, but even movie is sometimes distraction.

It’s this feeling of just being with me, and it feels so good, so soft and nourishing lately. I mean, not just lately, but lately I don’t have so many other things to do so I can do more of this nurturing in this way.

So I just wanted to add this, just being receptive and lazy, you know, how we would call it lazy in the old days. But now I find it so nourishing and rewarding.

Silvia: For me, it’s kind of opposite. Since I’m very active, being without doing anything is like learning to live like that. So I’m trying to find the middle way so I can be relaxing and do anything without me fighting it.

John: For me, it’s very much about assuming that I am receiving, no matter what I’m doing. Because if I stop and go, “Oh, I’m going to receive now,” all of a sudden I’m in this mind game that just doesn’t go anywhere. Trying to receive, trying to figure out how to receive!

So I find that for me, what works best is to assume that I am receiving. I’m open to receiving. And then get my mind busy on a book, an interesting story or something light.

[participants speak over each other]

John: Silvia.

Silvia: I like the word assuming.

I do like it. I’m going to adopt it! I’m going to adopt it, assuming. That will help me find the middle.

John: Yes. Romana?

Silvia: Go ahead Romana, sorry I interrupted you.

Romana: Yeah, I just wanted to add to what John said. We have a very different way of doing it.

And it’s also… For me, sometimes I feel my mind is very busy. And it feels like, “Oh don’t stop! Don’t stop! I don’t want to be bored!” you know, “I’m just going to be totally bored if I stop!” and so I have this negotiation with my mind too.

But sometimes also the massage, when you are basically not… When you assumed… I mean where you are not supposed to do anything, just be there, this is a wonderful way of receiving too. When the body stops and relaxes. The water, a bath, things like that.

Okay!

Silvia: Thank you to Yeshua for those words.

John: Okay, well, have a great two weeks!

Monika: Same to you! Same for you all of you.

[goodbyes]

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