How to Change Your Life

8. Trust the River (An Experience with Mother Mary)

Channeled by John McCurdy on November 5, 2022

This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible. Note that Hmm, Mmm, and lines with just a dot, signify places to pause and to feel into what is being said.

Important: This message is intended to be an experience, so we strongly recommend that you listen to the recording rather than just reading the transcript. Listening with headphones is best.

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Greetings, my dear friends!

Oh, we’re overwhelming John a little bit with the energies that he is feeling. Indeed, with the resonance that he is feeling.

Hmm…

I am the combined voice of the one you know as Mother Mary, the one who had the privilege of birthing our dear friend, Jeshua, two thousand years ago. I am the combined voice of Mother Mary and of what you might call the Divine Feminine, or even, the feminine facet of this one you know as Master John, or John’s soul.

Mmm…

Also joining with us are a number of ascended masters who have been part of this class on How to Change Your Life.

Oh, it’s been more than a month since John channeled our last message here. Indeed I, Mother Mary, have been here for all of it, and I wanted to have my own message. I wanted to bring the conclusion.

Hmm…

You see, John came home from his mountain retreat after we channeled the last message, expecting to get to work right away on transcribing the lessons and channeling this message to wrap it all up. Well, life had other plans!

Oh, we don’t really want to say it that way. That makes it sound like he’s a victim of life, and nothing could be further from the truth. But let’s say that, in the flow of the river he found himself very busy packing, because he and Romana were preparing to move for a few months to Croatia, to the seaside flat owned by her parents. They needed to be here to work on the business of selling the property, or at least that was the story that their minds gave them. In truth, there are some much deeper things happening here.

So, John came home to their home and Slovenia, and dove into packing and getting ready. They were planning to leave in a week or so, and the time came, and they came down with Covid! They had all their stuff packed and the things they weren’t taking moved into storage, and suddenly they had Covid.

Hmm…

So, their trip was delayed for a couple of weeks while they went through that rather painful process. And a part of John’s mind was going, “We just channeled this class on how to change your life, and here I am with Covid! What’s going on?”

Well, of course I was right there, and I said, “Dear John, you wanted to change your life. Well, if you feel deeper, you’ll find that this is part of the process of change. So just be with it. Taste it. Breathe it in.” So he did.

Eventually they got well enough that they could travel, and they traveled to Croatia. It took them a few days to get all of their stuff carried up from the car, because they still weren’t feeling very well and the flat is quite a few steps up from the street. So they got moved in. They got settled in, and now here we are. The other messages are transcribed and it’s time to wrap up this class.

Dear friend, the human wants so much—even more than to change its life—to control its life and to understand what is going to happen next. But as you are discovering, that just doesn’t work for the master. It simply doesn’t work!

Hmm…

What works is allowing. Allowing the change.

The human goes, “Oh why would I come down with Covid right now, when I have so many other things to do?”

Well, maybe it’s because you need to stop. Because you need to take some time. Because you need to understand that life is not a destination to get to.

Life is a journey to experience.

You don’t ride the river of life in order to get to the other end. There is no other end! There is only the river, right here, right now. And this river has lots of twists and turns. It has rapids. It has lakes along the way, where it feels like you stop and like nothing is happening. But it is, and that’s a time to rest and to relax.

Having Covid, or the flu or any other sickness, is a good time to allow the rewiring to take place within your body, and that is what it is really about for you.

The human goes, “What did I do wrong to attract this?”

Nothing! You attracted this because it’s what you needed.

Oh, don’t try to figure it out in your mind. The human feels the pain, or an ache or a fever or whatever, and goes, “What do I need to do? Where did this come from? How do I need to fix it? What caused it?”

We ask you to stop and let all those questions go. You do not need to figure it out!

You simply need to accept it. To breathe it in. To be curious.

Oh, not curious to find the cause. That’s a mental power game! But curious to see where it’s taking you.

Ahh…

Your mind may not recognize what’s really happening. It probably won’t. But if you feel a little deeper you’ll know, just as John knows, that having Covid was not an accident and it wasn’t because he did something wrong. It was because it was the next step in his own opening.

Mmm…

And it is not for you, dear human, to understand what that means. It is for you simply to allow it to happen.

Oh, you will know, soon enough. In hindsight, you will know some of what it means. You’ll know it at a deep level, at your soul level, but your mind is not going to understand it until after the fact.

Oh, John can feel that there is so much happening right now. So much! And he knows to just be in the river and let it carry him, because that’s the only thing there is to do right now.

Oh, he thinks he has all these other things that need to get done. Well, they’ll get done. If they are important, they’ll get done at the perfect moment. But because they just happen, or they take care of themselves, or in some moment they’re just the thing for him to do, not because he pushed himself to do them.

Oh, that power, it always backfires!

Hmm…

So, float in the river. And that is how you change your life.

You see, the river is constantly changing. Life is constantly changing. You keep wanting to change your life because, well, the human keeps trying to keep it the same!

That doesn’t work very well, and it makes it more painful than it needs to be.

What the human really wants is to let go. To let go of that responsibility for changing your life, for getting it right and for fixing all the problems.

Mmm…

So dear friend, let go.

Can you do that? Can you let go and let the river carry you into what you call the unknown? And into a very different life? A very new life?

Oh, it might look the same on the outside. You might still be living in the same place and doing similar things, but when you really, truly, surrender to this river, oh, it’s going to carry you into that garden, into the field that Rumi spoke of. And oh, your experience of life, even if it looks the same on the outside, is going to be so very different!

Mmm…

And all the stuff on the outside is going to take care of itself. And you won’t need it to change anymore, because you’ll be in it. And you will be having a whole different experience.

So, let’s have an experience right now.

Oh, before we do that, there’s one other thing we want to bring back to your attention. Something dear Jeshua spoke of in the last message.

Mmm…

When you look around at your life, you see all of these things outside of you. And as Jeshua said, as we’ve discussed throughout this class, they are not outside of you at all. They are inside of you.

Oh, they might be reflecting some other being, but they are still inside of you. That reflection is inside of you, and it is showing you a part of yourself.

If that part of yourself didn’t exist, you would not even be able to see them.

Everything you perceive in your world is part of you. It is inside of you, and it is showing you yourself.

Not so that you can fix it or change it. Please! It does not need fixed or changed, and that just perpetuates the power games.

It is showing you that part of yourself in answer to the question, Who am I?

Because you are all of that, and those parts of you do not need to be changed or fixed.

Even the ones that you look at and think about how evil they are, they do not need to be changed or fixed! They need to be welcomed home as the parts of you that they are, and as one of the many, many answers to the question, Who am I?

Well, you are that.

Let that in. Let that part of you in.

You see it out there in the form of another person, but it’s an aspect of you. When you push it away, or you try to change it or fix it, you just perpetuate the illusion and the power that keeps coming back and hitting you in your life.

When you let it come home, when you accept it as part of you just the way it is, then it changes from a troublesome aspect to a balanced facet of you.

[sounds of a river come in]

Ahh…

So, here we are, and it’s time for our experience to bring this whole class to its conclusion.

.

Feel yourself in this grand river.

Ahh…

You’re just floating.

The water carries you.

There’s no danger of drowning.

It’s warm.

It’s a beautiful day and we’re floating down this river.

Ahh…

Just let it carry you.

Hmm…

It’s flowing gently, swiftly, but not too fast.

The land all around is beautiful.

Mmm…

Just let it carry you.

.

Oh, you come around a bend and you hear some sounds up ahead.

You hear the roaring of the rapids.

Ahh…

.

Just relax.

You see, this river is not like a river on your human earth. This river is alive. It’s your essence. It’s carrying you. It’s not going to let you drown, or hit your head on a rock, or anything like that.

You can trust it.

You can let go.

You can simply float.

You can watch the scenery go by.

Oh, faster and faster!

The river is going downhill.

The ride is a little more bumpy, but it’s still carrying you.

It’s invigorating!

It’s beautiful!

Ahh…

Let it carry you.

.

.

Hmm…

Watch the trees go past on the shore, moving very quickly now.

.

Ahh…

.

Suddenly, everything changes.

The water slows down.

You find yourself in a small lake and it feels almost like the river stops.

.

You look around and think, “Do I need to paddle? Do I need to hurry up and get to the other side?”

No, you just need to let this river carry you.

Just float in the lake.

Hmm…

.

Look at the beautiful puffy clouds in the sky!

.

Hmm…

Oh, you look across the lake and there’s a rainbow there.

Uh oh! You know what that means!

And you’re starting to hear the roar of a waterfall.

.

A part of you panics, and that’s okay.

You start swimming as hard as you can towards the side, to get away. And then you realize that’s just more of the old. More of your old life. More working so hard to protect yourself. More working so hard to stay in the territory that you know and understand, or think you do.

Ahh…

It’s time to let go.

It’s time to stop paddling so hard.

.

Stop swimming, you’re just wearing yourself out!

Notice how hard it is to stay afloat while you are swimming.

This river is not like your human or earthly rivers. In this river, the harder you swim, the deeper you sink and the harder it is to move.

Because that is the nature of power, dear friend. Trying to power your way through life just drags you down. It might give you an initial rush of satisfaction, like you’re actually getting somewhere, but the further you go the deeper you sink.

Oh, let go!

Let go, and notice how as soon as you stop swimming and paddling, this water lifts you back up and you float like a cork!

Hmm…

You look, and you discover that it is actually carrying you faster than you thought across this lake, and that rainbow is coming closer.

Oh, it’s so beautiful, in the mist rising from the waterfall!

Mmm…

Part of you panics again. You want to get away. You find yourself having a really strong agenda to get to the shore, or to get anywhere except where that waterfall is!

Let it go. It will just drag you down.

Mmm…

Let go.

Yes, it’s scary to face a waterfall. It’s terrifying for the human!

But there it is. It is the next step in your journey, dear friend.

Oh, and if you look at your life, you’ll probably see something that you are trying hard to get away from, that you know is the next part of your journey.

Mmm…

So you let go.

You let the river carry you.

You float through the fear.

Oh, the intense fear!

But you see, fear itself can’t hurt you.

It’s really just fear of the unknown, fear of what might happen.

But dear friend, has this river ever let you down?

Oh, you’ve felt let down so many times, when you’ve been working so hard to get out of it or to get it to go where you thought it should go. Of course it let you down then, because that wasn’t your path.

And here you are.

This river is you.

It is your soul.

It is your very essence.

Let it carry you!

.

Can you trust it so much that you can let it carry you over the waterfall?

.

Look at that rainbow. It’s so beautiful!

.

It’s attracting you.

You want to feel it.

You want to immerse yourself in it.

Can you let that happen?

Mmm…

.

Can you allow the unknown?

Can you allow the next step in your life, that you know it’s time to take but it scares you so much?

.

You see, so many people feel stuck in their life. They feel stuck because they know what they need to do. They feel it. They see that rainbow. But they are terrified of what it might mean or what might happen. And so they struggle and struggle and struggle to keep from going over that waterfall, from taking that step. And so, of course, their life doesn’t change. Or if it does it just brings more misery, because the harder you work the deeper you sink.

Oh, let go, dear friend!

You see, you think it’s the unknown, but it isn’t. Oh, the details are unknown, but it’s you! It’s your soul!

There is not anything here that is not you, your essence!

Can you trust yourself enough to take that step?

Mmm…

To step right off the edge of the cliff, if that’s what it means?

Ahh…

.

So, here you are.

You’re coming to the end of the lake.

You feel the river picking up speed.

You see the mist rising ahead of you.

.

You see the beautiful rainbow in the mist, but you can’t see anything past that.

You hear the roar of the water falling off the cliff and crashing on the rocks down below.

Mmm…

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Dear friend, you’ve tried everything else. Isn’t it time to let go? To trust this river? To trust your own soul? To let it to carry you?

Mmm…

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Can those rocks at the bottom really be worse than struggling so hard, like you’ve done for most of your life?

Hmm…

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Let go, because there is magic here.

Look at that rainbow.

Look at the beauty of it.

Can’t you feel the magic in that?

.

It’s a metaphor for your life, dear friend.

It’s a metaphor for what’s coming when you take that step, whatever it is.

Not off in the future, not even for the future. When you look at it like that, all you can see are the rocks at the bottom.

Mmm…

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Feel the magic!

.

Oh, you can stay here at the top of the waterfall. You can struggle and fight, and eventually you’re going to sink so deep that you won’t be able to stop yourself, and you’re going to get carried off the edge. So why not just let it happen?

Why not take that step?

The step that feels like that rainbow, even though your mind thinks it’s a waterfall?

That step where you feel the magic, even though your mind goes, “Oh, that’s so dangerous!”

Hmm…

.

Ahh…

.

So here we go!

Here we go on our little journey.

.

The river is carrying you.

You’ve let go.

You’ve surrendered to the river.

.

It’s going faster.

The roar is louder.

And here you go, off the edge!

You go shooting off into the mist!

Hmm…

.

Ahh…

.

[the sound of the waterfall goes to silence, gentle music comes in]

Hmm…

.

Ahh…

You’re floating.

.

Part of you thinks you’re falling, and you’re waiting to feel those rocks at the bottom.

But notice that the roar of the waterfall has faded away.

Ahh…

.

Notice…

Allow your eyes to remain closed for a little bit.

There’s still mist all around you, but you hear the music playing and the sound of the stream.

Mmm…

.

Now open your eyes in your imagination, and look around at this beautiful garden!

Mmm…

.

You see, where you’ve landed, dear friend, is in Rumi’s field.

Well, it’s your field, but it’s the one Rumi spoke of.

It’s your garden.

It’s so beautiful!

.

When you look around you see trees, flowers, green grass, animals of all shapes and sizes.

They’re all moving around peacefully, just enjoying life.

Mmm…

.

.

.

There’s nothing here that you need to do, except just relax.

.

Oh, there’s all kinds of things you can do, just for the fun of it. But here in this garden, there is nothing that you need to do.

Hmm…

.

Oh, over there, there’s this beautiful tree!

Mmm…

We’ve seen it before.

It’s the Tree of Life, and now there is nothing blocking you from it.

.

Oh, wait!

Watch, the tree is changing!

It’s transforming into the shape of a person.

Ahh…

It’s coming to you.

Mmm…

Beautiful, soft, white light, it floats through the garden and comes to you.

As it approaches, you see its face.

It’s your face.

Hmm…

This is your light body!

.

It’s coming closer.

Oh, hmm…

Suddenly you remember something in your life you were supposed to be doing. There’s some problem that you’re not sure how to solve.

Mmm…

For a moment, you’re distracted.

.

Just let it go.

Come back.

Notice how your light body is still standing right there, a big smile on its face, just waiting.

Waiting for you to come back, to let go of that agenda.

Mmm…

.

You see, there’s no room for agendas in this garden. They take you right out of it.

Hmm…

.

But the garden is always here, and you can come back by simply opening up and letting that agenda go.

.

So here you are.

This light body, this Tree of Life with your face on it, is coming closer.

Oh, it’s beginning to blend with your body!

.

You might feel pain.

It might hurt for a bit, because your body is having to transform.

It’s having to let go of all of its agendas, and all the agendas you’ve stored up within it.

It’s having to let them go.

Hmm…

But this light body, this beautiful, brilliant you, is here. And it is gradually, gently, absorbing you into it.

Mmm…

It’s taking its time, because there is so much that needs to be transformed and released. And if it happened too fast, you’d lose your human body altogether. So it’s happening slowly, gently.

.

Oh, intensely at times!

But this light body is you.

It is your soul.

But then, everything here is your soul!

.

Slowly, gradually, your body is transforming. And the time will come—it’s not too far away—when it won’t hurt so much and your body will have its energy back.

Mmm…

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And how long that takes, dear friend, well, it has a lot to do with how willing you are to stay in this garden, in this field.

And that means, how willing are you to release your agendas? Your ideas of what is right or wrong? Your ideas of how things should be or how they shouldn’t be?

Mmm…

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How much, how soon, are you willing to release your outrage over the injustices that are happening in the world?

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Over the injustices and the betrayals that have happened to you?

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Oh, you feel so much outrage, so much hurt and so much outrage, about those things!

You want them to stop.

You want to punish those who perpetrated those things.

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Dear friend, look around you now.

The garden has faded a little bit.

It’s still here, we’re still in it, but around you now, you see those—oh, you call them evil people. The ones that have hurt you. The ones that have betrayed you, that have abused you.

Mmm…

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Some of them have killed you in other lifetimes.

Some of them have raped you.

.

Oh, in many different ways. Rape isn’t just sexual. It happens in many forms. It’s about stealing energy. It’s about using power against another person to get what you want.

Hmm…

See these people around you.

.

Hmm…

Notice that there’s another group of people here too, people that you have done those things to.

.

Yes, you have.

In different times and different lifetimes.

Even in this lifetime you’ve manipulated people. You’ve betrayed people. You’ve used power in different ways. Maybe not in those really overt ways, but sometimes the more subtle ways are even more destructive.

.

So, there are all these people gathered in front of you.

Look in their eyes.

Feel the outrage you have towards them.

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Feels the shame that you have in yourself for what you’ve done to them. And for even allowing it to happen, for allowing them to hurt you.

Oh, so much shame!

.

Now, take a deep breath.

Step back a little bit.

Allow this garden to fade back in a little bit.

.

You can still see these people, but you are starting to see them from a different perspective, the way your soul sees them.

Mmm…

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You are starting to see that they are all you.

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Every one of them is presenting a part of the answer to your question, Who am I?

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You are ALL of those people, the victims and the abusers alike.

They are all part of you.

Mmm…

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Be still, Mind. You are not going to figure out the mechanics of how it works.

.

These avatars in front of you, oh, they reflect other beings out there. But as they touch you, they are parts of you.

They are showing you yourself.

They are showing you the answer to that grand question, Who am I?

I am that.

I am all of that.

I am that I am.

Mmm…

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When you let that in, dear friend, oh, your life will change!

It won’t happen overnight.

It’ll take time.

Because, well, that’s how it is in human. You created this place of Earth, this computer game we’ve called it, this mass consciousness template, you created it to slow things down.

You created this thing of time, this experience of time, for a reason.

So that you could slow down.

So you could observe all these things that seem to be outside of you, and so that eventually you could come to this point of allowing the integration. Of recognizing how everything that you see in your world, without exception, is you.

Hmm…

.

The so-called evil that you see being perpetrated on others within your world, is you.

Oh, the beautiful parts of life, those are you too. The beautiful people, the kind people, they are all you.

Hmm…

And they too are part of the answer to, Who am I?

.

Dear friend, when you start to let that in—oh, there’s nothing you need to do about it right now, except to let it in.

To acknowledge the truth.

You know it’s true. You feel in your heart that this is all me. But a part of you rejects that.

It says, “That can’t be me!”

But it is, dear friend.

And it’s not a part of you that needs to be fixed.

.

When you allow yourself to own that—oh, simply to acknowledge to yourself the truth of, That is me!

If you get in an argument with another person, stop for a moment. Don’t say it out loud, but within yourself just acknowledge for a moment, This is me that I am arguing with.

If you feel someone betraying you, stop. Take a deep breath and acknowledge to yourself, This is me, creating this experience of betrayal.

Don’t analyze it.

Don’t try to figure out why.

Simply own it. This is me!

If anything, offer it a hug.

It’s part of you and it needs your love!

But you don’t even have to do anything about that.

Simply acknowledge that it is part of you!

Hmm…

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Even if your mind doesn’t believe it yet, take a moment and remind yourself, This is me!

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You look out on the world, and you see the chaos. You see the wars. You see the crazy politicians.

Stop.

Take a breath.

Acknowledge to yourself, That too, is me. It is all happening inside of me!

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As you do that, as you breathe that in, you will find yourself back here in this beautiful garden.

Hmm…

You’ll find yourself back in the river, this beautiful river, and you’ll find they are one and the same.

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And the next time you come to a waterfall you won’t be afraid anymore, because you will understand the transformation that is about to happen.

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Because when you accept that it is all you, that there is absolutely nothing in your perception or your experience that is not you, that is not part of the answer to, Who am I? then you can truly let go of your agendas.

Then you can let go of your battles, because then you see that you are only fighting yourself.

.

And then you find yourself in this incredible garden. And instead of it just being an experience of a few minutes during a channeled message, you find it being the place where you live.

Oh, it’s not boring!

Here you can do anything you want to do, anything at all!

You can even play those old power games if you want to, but because now you’re playing them from a place of just playing, with no agendas and no real power, you’re not caught in it anymore. And they won’t hurt you anymore.

.

You can get in somebody’s face and tell them to fuck off, if that’s what is called for, and they will. And you’ll smile, because you allowed yourself.

.

Oh, you can play here in this garden.

You can have so much fun here!

You can bring in avatars from all these different people, beautiful people, that are going to relate to you in different ways. In new ways. In beautiful ways.

Hmm…

Your life will never be the same again!

Ahh…

.

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So this, dear friend, is how you change your life. Without any power at all.

Mmm…

.

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We’ll let the music play for a while.

Mmm…

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Allow you, dear friend.

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Let go of the agendas, and you’ll find yourself able to be you.

It is your agendas that stop you from expressing yourself fully.

You need to be right. You need to fix your problems. You need to look good to the others.

Those are all things that bring misery into your life.

Let them go.

.

Let go of those agendas.

All your agendas!

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Simply let the river carry you.

Let yourself rest in this garden.

Mmm…

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Come back often.

Oh, you can listen to this message whenever you like, but you don’t need it.

This garden is you. It’s inside of you, along with everything else in your perception.

And when you are here is when your light shines the brightest!

Mmm…

And that light goes out through the communication network, and the avatars of you in those other being’s creations, oh, they begin to shine so bright!

Hmm…

.

It’s time to rest, dear friend.

Rest in this field out beyond all agendas, all ideas of rightdoing or wrongdoing, or of how things should be or how things should not be.

Just let them be what they are, because it’s all you.

And it’s all a beautiful part of the answer to, Who am I?

Mmm…

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Stay with the music for a time.

Rest.

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When you are ready, come back to your human awareness and be rejuvenated.

Mmm…

And be free.

.

And so it is.

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