Freedom From Meaning

Have you ever wondered, What is the meaning of life? What is my purpose?

Who hasn’t, right?

Well, here is my soul’s take on that:

Click the triangle to play the recording.

Freedom From Meaning – by John McCurdy
Channeled on August 27, 2021

I am that I am.

I am Johannes, of magical service!

Hmm…

Oh, I am also Anna, of magical service!

We are one and the same. Sometimes we like to play around with the feminine and masculine flavors, but really, it’s just me. John’s soul. Oh, it includes so many humans. I include so many humans from all across the timeline of this place you call Earth.

Ahh…

So many! So much experience. So much beautiful experience and expression!

Oh yes, Soul is all about experience and expression. That is what I care about.

Oh, human. Human tries to put meanings on everything. It tries to find a purpose in everything, and it gets so confused in that! It makes for good experience, though.

But you see, there is no meaning in life. None whatsoever!

I exist! This life, this human life that John is experiencing, or that any of my other incarnations have experienced or will experience, has no meaning. It is just an experience. It is just an expression. An expression of me, an expression of my consciousness.

Ahh…

John is puzzling in his mind a little bit. He’s wondering, how does awareness, which is the other word for consciousness, express?

Ha!

Well, just look at yourself, dear John. You are my expression. Everything you do, everything you say, is all me expressing! Everything you have ever done, everything you have ever said.

Hmm. You thought you had got it all wrong, but it was just me, expressing. That’s all. So how could you possibly have gotten it wrong?

Ha!

There is no right or wrong in life, except what humans imagine and what humans make up.

There is no right or wrong.

Everything you have ever felt, whether it felt good or whether it felt bad, was just me, experiencing. Because, you see, that is what we do. That is what Soul does. It’s what Divinity does. It experiences and it expresses, and that is all.

Hmm…

So maybe, when you feel into that, you can lighten up on yourself just a little bit.

Maybe you can begin to let go of some of those painful experiences from the past. They were just experiences. Whatever meaning you think they had, it was all made up.

John didn’t really want to say that, but it’s the truth.

Every meaning you have ever given to anything you have ever done, in any lifetime anywhere, in any experience you have ever had; any meaning that you ever gave it was all made up.

Ahh, the meanings that you’ve given things have created some amazing experiences. Oh, some of them you didn’t like so much, but they were just experiences and they contributed to the wisdom that we have now. That Soul has now. That Soul brings to you now. That is fully available to you now, IF you are willing to let go of all those meanings.

Oh, when you do, when you let go of all those meanings, you’ll find the pain that’s been stuck in your body for so long will dissipate, because it has no more reason to be there. The pain was all about the meaning that you gave to the experience.

Mmm… That’s hard for the human.

Some of those experiences felt so meaningful to you. You rose up, you took responsibility for protecting the things that were precious to you, for protecting the planet, for protecting the love, for protecting the awareness of divinity. Oh, all these things you’ve fought for! You fought for them because you thought they had meaning. And now we say, they did not.

They truly did not have meaning.

Oh, they were amazing! They were amazing experiences! They brought us so much wisdom! But that’s a side effect. In the ultimate grand scheme of things, they have no meaning. How could they?

I exist. I, your soul, I exist. I cannot not exist. I have always existed and I will always exist, so how could anything that happens within my experience have any meaning? How could any expression that I do have any meaning?

It doesn’t. It’s just another experience, just another expression.

I am eternal. I exist. I cannot not exist. And within that, what does it matter if I play the fool? If I get drunk and roll in the gutter? If I go to war and kill people? Or if I teach love? If I simply spend my time loving people and basking in life?

What does it matter?

Because, I exist. I cannot not exist. There is no one in all of creation that has power over me or that is any better a creator than me, or that has any access to my creation. Nor is there anyone in all of creation who is truly affected by my creation.

Oh, there is a certain amount of influence, where you choose it. Such a brilliant experience, this mass-consciousness template that you created so that you could interact and have a somewhat shared experience and play with each other. Beautiful, amazing! But if my human comes along and cuts your human’s head off, what does it matter?

I exist. You exist. We cannot not exist. That was just an experience. You get angry and come back and cut my head off. Ha ha! So what? It’s just an experience! It’s just an expression!

Within my creation there is an avatar with your face on it, if you are someone that John knows. Now, John might get pissed off and shoot that person in the head, that avatar. Well, so often, for the person on the other side, that action goes through the communications network and you feel it, and you think, “Oh, now my avatar has to shoot me in the head,” and so you kill your own body.

That’s why some have said that every death is ultimately a suicide. No matter what the supposed cause is, it’s ultimately a suicide. It’s a choice.

Because there is no death. There is just an experience. There is just an expression. That’s all!

It has no meaning, except the meaning that human gives it. And that, my dear friends, that meaning, is made up.

Oh, it’s a difficult concept. It’s difficult for John to let the words out so bluntly. But you see, when you start to realize that there is no meaning in any of it, that there is no purpose in any of it, then that’s when all of that old pain and all of that old guilt and shame—oh, you’re struggling so hard with it! It’s trying to go, it’s trying to be free, it’s trying to dissipate, and you are holding on so tightly because, well, it had so much meaning for you! And if you let it go, what will happen to you? What will happen to that meaning?

Oh, dear friend, it’s time to realize that the meaning was a game. It was an illusion. It wasn’t really there. And when you let go of the meaning, all of that old pain will fall away. It will just dissipate, disappear into did nothing, and you will be free.

Oh, it’s so hard, though. You look back over this life, over your other lifetimes. So many things you are so proud of because of what they meant, because of what you accomplished. And so many things you are ashamed of, also because of what they meant, because of what you did.

It is time to understand that there was no meaning in any of it. It was simply an experience that you and your soul chose, an expression of your own soul.

Your soul said, “Let’s go play this game. Let’s give this—whatever it was—some meaning. Let’s dive into it. Let’s fight for it” Or, “Let’s fight against it!” as the case may have been. Oh, and you put your passion into it. You felt so much passion!

And oh, you felt so much. So much feeling, so much emotion. And from our side, from the soul’s perspective, it was such an amazing, incredible experience! And that’s all. That’s all it was: an expression and an experience. That’s all!

Let that in, dear friend. Let that in.

Part of you is going to feel really, really let down. It’s going to scream, to throw a tantrum for a little bit: “How could that not have had any meaning?”

Sometimes you fought so hard, so passionately, and then you were destroyed at the human level. Then you came home, and Soul gave you a big hug and said, “Wow, what an incredible experience!”

And you said, “Yeah, send me back!”

Hmm…

Actually, you usually just kind of fell back, because you knew it wasn’t done. You were so caught in your meaning that you couldn’t stay on our side, because you had to go back and get even, or finish protecting whatever it was. So you just fell back into the next available mother. You were born, and you went right back into the same game, into that same made-up meaning.

Mmm…

It is time, dear friends. You have asked for the change that is here now.

Well, part of that change is the realization that there is no meaning to any of it. No purpose. None whatsoever!

Oh, you’ve made up some beautiful stories about it. Some of you know the story told by Tobias of how all of creation came to a standstill almost, and a big conference was held and it was decided to create this place called Earth to slow all the energies down and figure out how things worked.

Oh, it’s true! But you see, even that had no ultimate meaning. It was a game.

So creation slowed down, angels panicked and said, “What’s going to happen if it all collapses?” They didn’t understand that they are sovereign beings and you can’t really get lost. Ultimately nothing bad could possibly happen, because you exist.

You exist!

I exist!

It is the one and only unarguable Truth: I exist.

Everything else is made up. Completely made up.

Everything else is simply an expression or an experience. That’s all!

You have played a wonderful game together. So many angels, so many souls, joining into this mass consciousness—oh, it’s much, much older than Earth—and interacting with each other!

Well, you thought you were interacting. And indeed, in a way you were. But you are also sovereign and you can’t destroy each other. You can confuse yourselves, you can influence others if they choose to be influenced, but you can’t actually touch each other. You can’t destroy each other. You can only play the game, which has no meaning whatsoever.

Since when did a game ever have meaning? It’s just a game!

Oh, you’ve learned things along the way. But that’s a byproduct, not the purpose. And even in that, there is no meaning. It’s just a game. It’s just an experience.

Oh, there is incredible wisdom that comes from it, and that adds to your experience. It’s like the most sweet and beautiful golden nectar. You could call it the nectar of life. It changes everything. It brings life in a way that you have never known before, but there is still no meaning in it. It’s just another experience. At some point you will be beyond even that, and there is no meaning in it.

You are eternity. How can there be any meaning in any point in eternity?

Eternity is long enough in terms of time—which itself is just a meaningless point in eternity—it is long enough to have every experience that could ever be had. And there is no meaning in it.

Hmm…

Oh, even John worries. He knows all this, but he gets caught up in worrying about all these things in his life. Oh, but they have no meaning! They are beautiful experiences, and he doesn’t have too many ugly experiences anymore. His body feels a little ugly sometimes, but even that is just an experience and he is moving beyond it.

He hears that, and he hopes it is true… Ha!

And at the same time, he knows it is true, because I am here. I am his soul. I see beyond it, and through my eyes he sees beyond it now too.

And dear friend, time—oh, it has no real meaning either. You think that all you have access to is the present, but that’s not true either.

In this time, for so many of you, it is about the integration with Soul. With your soul.

Well, your soul doesn’t know time. Your soul has no time, and as you integrate—well, you always were integrated, but you created this veil in order to have these experiences, this illusion that you were different from your soul. You weren’t, but it was a nice illusion that created some really amazing experiences.

Now you are taking away that veil. Now Soul is coming in, for the first time ever in all of your journey, in all of your eternity. For the first time ever, Soul is coming in to have this human experience directly, as you. And you are receiving the awareness of your soul. You are beginning to sense life through it, and what an amazing experience this is!

So you see, within eternity there exists every possibility of you that can exist.

Within eternity there exists the you, the divine human, walking the earth as a whole and complete and fully conscious being. Ha! No more body issues. No more real body even, though you can project whatever body you want whenever you want it.

That exists, dear friend, already, in your timeline. You see it somewhere off in the future and think you have no access to it, and that is not true! You have your soul now. Right now!

If you are looking around for your soul—oh, so many people come to John for private channel saying, “I need to connect with my soul. I can’t feel it anymore! I used to, but I can’t feel it now!”

And the answers is always the same: It is because there is no more separation between you and your soul. You are one and the same, and you are still looking outside of yourself for your soul. It’s not there!

Ha! Well, it is. And no, it’s not. It is everything that you perceive around you, outside of you.

Everything that you perceive is your soul. And you, the one perceiving, are your soul, so you are not going to feel any particular sensation when you feel into your soul. It’s just going to feel like you, because your soul is here. There is no more separation, no more illusion of separation. It is here.

Within this new integration your soul is outside of time, so you can feel into that being that you see in your future, that being who has no more body issues, who has no more confusion, who is going through life with a big grin on its face because everything is so magical and so beautiful, so graceful, so amazing! You can feel into that being, and you can bring it here. You can bring it right here!

Oh, don’t try to do it in your mind. It’s already happening, so just open to it.

You say, “Of course I’m open to it. Where is it?”

Dear friend, it is right here. It’s coming, but you are afraid of it. You are afraid to let that part of you in, because you don’t know what is going to happen.

There is a certain death that happens. The human you’ve known is like the caterpillar that you’ve left behind. Now you are the butterfly, only you’re not so sure of that yet. All you know is that you feel really weird, and you look around and see that caterpillar over there, still living that old life, and you wonder, “Why can’t I do that anymore?” Or, “Why doesn’t anything work right?”

It is because you are not a caterpillar anymore.

It is because that future you, you perceive it in the future, but it is really right here. It is coming in, as quickly as you let it.

You ask, “What do I have to do to let it?”

And we say, stop trying. Just bask in life, as we said in our last message.

Bask in life. That’s all!

Stop worrying about it. Stop trying to get it right.

Yes, some days are painful. Some days are confusing. Some days, the energies are so intense that John hardly knows what to do with himself. Bask in it. Just bask in it!

This journey is not about feeling comfortable. A lot of humans forget that. It never was about feeling comfortable! It is about having an experience, and basking in that experience.

And the more you do—funny thing—the more comfortable you will feel.

Stop trying. Let go.

Stop grasping. Stop worrying.

Just bask in life.

If you wake up in the morning and you just can’t drag yourself out of bed because everything feels so weird, lay there in bed and bask in the energies.

If your body hurts—ha ha, John doesn’t want to say this one either, but he will—bask in it! Bask in the pain.

It will shift. Or your attention will shift and you will find something more fun, or more comfortable, to put your attention on. Whatever, just open up to the experience.

Remember, you exist. You always have and you always will. You exist!

That means that every experience that you have will change. Every experience will change, because that is the nature of life. There is no such thing as getting stuck in a particular experience for the rest of eternity, because that wouldn’t be life.

And besides, you are the creator and you are always changing your creation.

And besides, it is all in your imagination. That’s where your creation is, every bit of it. It is within your imagination, which is always changing. You don’t even have the ability to hold that much focus, to keep it all the same for eternity. It wouldn’t work!

So, whatever experience you are having right now, bask in it. Because it will change, and it has no meaning.

If it hurts, it doesn’t mean you are a failure. If it’s beautiful, it does not mean you are a success. It’s just an experience. Have it, and then watch how it changes.

You already know that experience changes with your perspective. When you are basking in life, it attracts experiences and potentials that give you more reason to bask. When you are fighting against life, it attracts experiences and potentials that give you more reasons to fight. So, which would you rather have?

That is why we say, bask in life! Sit on the park bench. Enjoy the experience you are having, even if it hurts. You’ll probably never have it again, and it will change. It absolutely will change, because human nature is change. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say, soul nature, divine nature, is change. Always.

The experience will change, so open up to it. Have this experience. It’s your one and only chance, so just have it. And then watch how it changes.

Mmm…

Let go of the meanings!

Oh, so many of you have so much pain from betrayal. There were so many times when you were betrayed in your experiences.

Well, what is betrayal, other than a denial of the meaning that you had applied to something?

If you are in a relationship and your partner betrays you, if they leave you and you feel betrayed, why is that? It is because you thought it meant something, and it was the loss of that meaning that feels like betrayal. So let to go of the meaning and come back to the experience.

We use relationship as an example, because it is so intense for so many of you, but it applies to everything in life. The emotions that you have about things are nothing more than—how to get these words right: The meanings that you give to things are precisely what create the emotions. All of them, without exception.

[thunder in background]

Hm… So, the good emotions, you could say, come when you feel as though your meaning was fulfilled. The negative emotions, the ones that hurt, you could say, come from when the meanings that you gave to whatever it was are betrayed or not fulfilled. That’s all. That is all!

So, that is why we say, it is time to let go of the meaning. There is no meaning in all of creation. None whatsoever.

There are many, many meanings created by humans, imagined by humans, but never by Soul.

Hmm…

John is checking to see if those were the right words, if that’s really true, because—oh, he’s right. This game of giving meaning to things goes far, far back, long before humans existed. Long before Earth existed.

When the angels started interacting with each other, started bumping up against each other, they began giving it meaning.

Hmm…

But those meanings, dear friend, are not real. They do not come from the I Am.

The I Am never, ever, applies meaning to anything. The I Am simply observes. It is simply aware, and as a result of its awareness, all of these energies—you can call it soul, or call it whatever—they come together, and they play out all these games with all these pretend meanings, that actually have no meaning whatsoever. Except within the particular expression and experience that is happening right now.

That’s all! There is no meaning, no real meaning, and when you let that in, you’ll be free. You will finally be truly free.

You’ll be free to enjoy your experiences, and to drink that golden nectar!

Ahh, you’ll be so free tha you can’t even imagine it right now.

Hmm…

And then you’ll discover the closest thing there is to meaning. It’s not meaning at all, but you will discover the incredible beauty—the words don’t really serve us too well, but—the incredible beauty that the I Am experiences and feels in all of this.

Hm. The words are way too limited here, but perhaps you can feel what we mean.

To have the experience, to be the expression, however it plays out. To have it with no guilt, no shame. To simply have the experience. It is so beautiful! It is so amazing!

That golden nectar of wisdom tastes so good. It has no meaning, but damn, it tastes so good!

Hmm…

It is time, dear friends. Let the meanings go.

So many experiences you’ve had [dog barks in background], you thought they meant so much.

Hmm… [more barking]

Even the dog thinks something means something! It doesn’t.

Let go of the meanings. Just observe.

Feel the experience without any meaning at all, and you’ll find yourself having a whole new relationship with all that you are and with all that you have ever been. And indeed, with all that you ever will be.

And so it is.

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* Note: Conscious channeling is an act of translating incoming feelings into human words the mind can understand. It is an imprecise process and sometimes the wrong words come out of my mouth. In the recording it is usually quite obvious what the intended meaning was, but it’s not so obvious in the transcript, so they must be corrected. Those words or phrases, if any, are marked with an asterisk (*) since they are different from the recording.

Also, since spoken word is very different from properly written word, along with my soul I have edited the text slightly. My (our) focus here is not on good grammar, but on clarity and readability without making it too confusing for those who choose to read along while listening to the audio recording. Changes that do not impact the meaning are not marked.

In transcribing these messages I have chosen to include many of the various ahhs, hmms, and other non-word sounds that come out of my mouth while channeling, because they indicate a moment to pause, take a breath, and reflect upon what has just been said. —John