I Exist: Seeing Self Through the Eyes of Soul

This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible.

I Exist: Seeing Self Through the Eyes of Soul

Channeled by John McCurdy and Romana Aniya Ercegović on 14 September 2024

John: Hello everybody! My name is John McCurdy.

I’m here with my beloved, amazing, precious wife, Romana Aniya. It’s such an honor!

I’ve been feeling for a while to bring in a message from my soul, from our souls, and so we decided to do it together. We don’t know how it’s going to go yet, so we’re just going to dive in and have some fun and see where we go.

Ahh…

So, dear Romana?

Romana Aniya: Hello everybody, from me too!

I am also very honored to be here with you, and with John, as we do this channel together, this experience together, as we feel that we are going to do that more and more together in the future.

So maybe let’s see what is going to be happening today, what is to be said, to be experienced.

[turns to John] How do you feel? Are you ready?

John: Ahh… Getting there!

We’re here in our little mountain cottage in the mountains of Slovenia. We were going to do it on the green screen, but decided to do it with the window behind us so you can see a little bit of the beautiful countryside here. Although it’s kind of cloudy and blustery out there today.

If you see some strange orbs behind our heads, that’s the reflections of our lights in the windows. [laughter]

Romana Aniya: So it’s not a moon or something like that…

John: Right!

So, it’s our little cheap and simple quick-put-together studio, here in our little cottage.

It’s such a beautiful, quiet place up here. We’re very happy, and we don’t know what’s next. But gosh, that’s just how it seems to be these days! [laughter]

So [to Romana], unless you have more to say, I’d say let’s get started.

Romana will open the space for us, and we’ll see where we go.

Romana Aniya: Yeah, okay.

So, I would invite us to just take a comfortable position. Maybe in this experience you can also close your eyes, however you feel along the way, because it’s going to be quite deep.

And so I would invite all of us to find a comfortable position. Maybe lie down, sit, whatever you feel.

Just make sure that this is really going to be a sacred time for you, so that there will be nobody interrupting your space and that you take your time for you, for your connection, for your soul, to feel the presence of deeper love of you. And for expansion of you in the unknown.

Take a deep breath, and just be aware that you are safe.

That you are in embrace of your own soul.

That you are a soul.

That you are divinity, and a human.

And just calm down.

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I feel there are lots of beings of light around us.

Gaia is holding us in her loving hands.

Masters are gathering, to be in this gathering with us.

All of us listening and experiencing this are creating a sacred safe space to feel, to be who you are, to allow ourselves to just be whole and all that we are in this moment.

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Let’s take a few deep breaths, deep in the belly.

Let your light enlighten your whole body.

Relax into your light.

Allow the love to flow freely in your heart.

And feel this beauty that you are, this magnificent you, this beautiful you.

Allow yourself to feel this beauty of the wholeness of you.

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If you are ready, John.

John: Mmm…

Ah, yes indeed. I am that I am!

We are that we are!

Mmm…

I am… Oh, John has called me Master Anna, Master John. I am all that John is!

I am joined here with Romana’s soul. I like to call her Master Aniya. She’s not sure if she likes that yet or not, but here we are, all together. And if you open in this message, if you allow it, you might hear your own soul also coming through.

Ahh…

So, John has been feeling this message coming for a while, or at least little parts of it. He’s been going through an interesting time over the summer, out here in this remote place in the mountains. A beautiful place! And very isolated, which has been a very good thing for both of us.

But also confusing at times, because the mind keeps trying to figure out what’s next: It’s going to get cold up here pretty soon. What do we do then? There’ll be snow, so the cars won’t come in and out. What do we do then? And we haven’t been bringing in very much money lately. What are we going to do?

And we, John and Romana’s souls, we keep reminding them: Be still. We are in charge. It all works out. Come back to I Exist.

Oh, you’ve heard that before. I Exist. But what does that mean?

Oh, the mind tries to do what the mind does with it. It doesn’t quite understand, but let’s feel it a little bit.

You exist. You always have, you always will. You cannot not exist.

You are your soul.

You still tend to feel like your soul is some being outside of you that somehow manipulates you, or something, or you don’t quite know what to make of it. But the truth is, your soul is you! You created…

Oh, you existed before time existed, and you decided you wanted to understand, to experience, to know, who you are and everything about yourself. So you created time and space, and ultimately this little planet called Earth, and this framework, this template that you call mass-consciousness, so that you could experience together and bounce off of each other, seemingly, all to come to know yourself better. So you are here, having an experience.

[the wind outside has picked up and the window shutters are rattling]

Ha! You might hear some noises in the background here, as the wind blows the window shutters. It’s okay. It’s just an experience!

And you see, when you say “I Exist” it takes you back into that place of you, of your soul, of all that you are. Into that perspective of, this little human is just a little part of you, having an experience.

Oh, the human tends to panic. My human, John, has been having quite a few moments of panic lately, trying to figure it all out. And I keep calling him back:

Dear John, I Exist. Come back to me. From my perspective this experience you are having, that you are all worried about, is just an experience! It’s bringing in so much wisdom! Especially in this lifetime, as we bring this particular journey to a close. As we transcend this mass-consciousness. Not to just die like you always have before, but to transcend. To become all that you are and still be able to play in the experience. On your choice, because you are part of me and we are doing this together.

Ahh…

John wonders at times, “What about all these pains in my body? They are so intense sometimes!”

Well, when he remembers to come back to I Exist, then he remembers that it’s just an experience. It’s just pain in the body. It’s just nerves playing a game with your brain, and you don’t have to suffer. Even if it hurts like crazy sometimes, suffering is a choice.

I Exist! And from that perspective, it’s just a little short experience.

Mmm…

So, let’s feel into this.

Feel into your own soul, your own I Exist, this bright light that you are.

But you are not just light, you are the deepest darkness.

It’s all together. Not in a way that cancels each other out, but in a way that provides color and contrast and beauty and amazing experiences.

Feel yourself.

Feel yourself coming home.

This part of you went on this long journey to experience yourself.

It was not to learn anything. It was not as a punishment, or anything like that.

It was to experience yourself!

You already know everything. Everything there is to know is already part of you.

It was not to learn. It was to experience.

So here you are, the human on Earth, the experiencer, and now you are coming home. Oh, while you stay on Earth!

You are coming home to Soul, to all that you are.

You are opening up to this perspective of:

I Exist.

I am that I am.

I am the light.

I am the dark.

I am every one of these experiences.

I am everything I perceive, including the others, in a way. They exist also in their own creation, but this is MY creation.

I Exist.

This is my imagination, you could say. My soul’s imagination. And it is just an experience.

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Feel, as you come back to the awareness of all that you are.

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Oh, be still, mind.

The mind wants to bring that into itself. It wants to own it. It wants to put it into words and concepts and definitions, and who you are is so far beyond any definition. We can try to describe a few of your attributes, of our attributes, but it is so far beyond any definition!

So just be still, mind.

Feel the grand magnificence of all that you are!

Feel the light. Feel the dark, and all the beauty that together they have created or manifested!

Feel the other facets of you, that exist right now in other parts of this timescape.

It’s all you.

It’s all experiences.

Hmm…

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Oh, when that pain flares up in your body or things don’t go the way you thought they should in your human life, come back to this perspective of your grandness, of your brilliance, and remember: this is just a momentary instant in eternity.

Because that is what you are.

You exist outside of time, for lack of a better description, but you are eternity! And this whole lifetime as a human, the most significant lifetime you have ever lived on Earth, is still just a brief instant in your existence.

Can you feel that?

Can you feel how insignificant these little aches and pains and frustrations and fears and doubts are in the whole picture of you?

That doesn’t mean they are not significant to you. They are. You feel them. But when you come back to this perspective, they are just the tiniest blip. And you can deal with that. And maybe that can ease some of the frustration.

Oh, so many of you, including John, wonder, what’s going on here? Why is it taking so long? I thought everything was going to change!

John felt like some big change was coming for him during this summer up in the mountains. Now it’s coming toward autumn and he’s wondering, where is that change?

Well, I keep telling him, it’s happening! It’s huge! But the human has trouble being aware of it. You keep trying to put it into human terms. And to really know it, you have to step back to this deeper, wider perspective of Soul, of:

I Exist.

I am that I am.

I am all of this.

I am the creator of all of this.

And although my human doesn’t understand why I created so much of this, I still created it. And I, as John’s soul, had very good reasons.

And your soul has very good reasons for every experience you have had.

Can you trust that?

Can you come back to that?

Hmm…

I, the human, do not understand everything that is happening.

Can you trust that?

There is so much happening that the human simply does not have the ability to fit into the mind. It was never meant to hold that. You are opening up to more and more, but even so, you have to keep coming back to this wider perspective of your soul. And that means you cannot define it.

It’s time to stop asking ‘why’ about any of these things, because that’s just a mental question. It comes from your mind and there is no true answer to it. You’ll come up with mental reasons, mental answers to the question, but they are only, at best, little pieces of the answer.

So, open up to beyond the whys and the mental definitions and reasons. It’s so much bigger than that! You are so much bigger than that!

Ask the mind to be still when it wants to know why.

Take a breath and ask the mind to be still, to feel.

You know why.

You already know why.

Because your soul knows, and you are your soul. So open up to that knowing.

It won’t come, usually, in mental answers. It’ll come in a feeling, a simple knowing.

I Exist!

It truly is the answer to everything. To everything that frustrates you.

I Exist. I am having an experience right now, but I am so much more than this experience!

Hmm…

John is thinking of his finger. Sometimes he has hurt his finger, poked it or cut it or burned it, or whatever. Well, from the finger’s perspective, it hurts like hell! But from his perspective as John, yeah, it hurts, but it’s just a little pain in the finger. It really doesn’t matter very much. It’s an experience, and there is wisdom that comes from those experiences.

So, can you open up to this perspective of Soul?

You see, your soul has… Ha! John thinks it’s a silly metaphor, but it’s real: Your soul, you could say, has thousands (for many of you) of ‘fingers,’ or lifetimes, and each of those lifetimes has so many experiences within it!

So, can you step back to that perspective, and allow these things in your human life that feel so important to you? Can you allow them to be what they really are? Which is just experiences that join together with all of those other experiences and all of those other lifetimes, and way beyond your earthly lifetimes, and all come together now into your knowing of who you are. Into your wisdom.

Hmm…

Even that word, the mind tries to make something of it. But it is just the knowing of you.

Mmm…

So, feel deeply.

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We’ll ask Romana if she feels something more to bring in here.

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Just keep feeling, as she opens.

Stay in this feeling of the brilliance of you.

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Romana Aniya: I feel so much love flowing in my body while we are in this experience, receiving so much lightness and just stillness.

For me, this is truly an art of expanding in who I truly am, to allow the mind to still. To just be there, but to step aside. It sometimes feels very active and very busy, and it wants to help and wants to do all these important things.

And just to be here in this me, in the presence of my soul, just opens so much space, so much knowingness. And peace comes in, and visions start to come in. Everything becomes more clear, what needs to become clear. Some things just stay unclear, which is also important, to allow this mystery of life to be grand without always trying to understand why, as John said.

I would invite all of us to feel this magnificent field of lightness, of love, deep love, that is present here now in this stillness, to just open to receive.

Sometimes I like to feel in that way that so many lifetimes we were serving God, or serving divinity. And now divinity wants to serve us as humans, revealing its true nature. It’s us we were serving, the huge magnificent us that we are. And now this grandness of divinity is reminding us, revealing it as this divinity that wants to serve us, that wants us as humans to receive it so we can become one, we can blend together in this amazing consciousness that we also call ‘Christ Consciousness.’ But they are just names of this grandness, this grand love, this grand whatever… Sometimes names, words, are so little.

But let’s just allow ourselves, as humans, to receive all this that we gave. It’s coming back. It’s bringing so many gifts from these ‘little fingers,’ these lifetimes that we didn’t know the whole picture, the whole perspective. And now this perspective is starting to be available to us, this beauty and grandness.

I had this dream of how I was everything in the whole universe, and the whole Gaia, and all this creation was watching through my eyes. And I just needed to breathe slowly, to come in resonance with this huge existence of all that I am that was watching through my eyes in this dream. I just needed to slow down my mind, and to just really feel this breath of life that was breathing through me, through my body, through my eyes, and me realizing wow, it’s huge! How could I think I was so limited? And how can I think that every day again?

But it’s so important to come back to this perspective of our vastness, which I like to call ‘the great love,’ because that’s how it feels to me.

Back to you, John.

John: Mmm…

Ah, let’s just feel for a few minutes.

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Romana Aniya: Let’s just breathe. Slowly, deeply. Feeling how this breath is moving the whole body, like the wind that you can hear outside of our cottage.

It’s been really windy these days, and it just feels like Earth is breathing freely and deeply. And it expands, moves, rebirths…

So much rebirthing is happening right now! I feel we are really preparing for the new life, the new reality that we already entered. But it’s coming slowly. It’s coming slowly, and it’s okay that it is slow.

We don’t need to rush. Everything is okay.

John: Ah, and it’s only slow from the human perspective.

Hmm…

John keeps coming back to this beautiful metaphor in Romana’s dream, so let’s take it a little deeper.

Feel yourself. Feel your life. Feel the world around you.

Everything, everything you perceive, everything you are aware of, feel it.

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Ah, notice these eyes looking out of it at you.

They are your eyes.

You, perceiving you.

You the creator, you the I Am, watching you, this little finger in your creation.

This little speck in your creation, really.

And yet, it is you.

So grand!

So beautiful!

So amazing!

Mmm…

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Now, bring your perspective to those eyes.

Look through them at you, the human.

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Oh, pick one of these other humans that you are.

Take a look at her or him, at the struggles they are going through.

We say that in the present tense, because they are going through them right now.

Take a look.

How do you feel about this being, this part of you that is out there going through these challenging experiences?

Do you see anything bad there, that they are doing?

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Or, are they just having the experience, as best they can?

How do you feel about that?

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Do you want to just wrap your arm around them and say, Dear facet of me, it’s going to be okay. I know, because I am in what you call the future, and I know it all works out. And it all adds so much to who I am and who you are. We are all the same, and unique at the same time.

Mmm…

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Now bring your perspective back, looking through these eyes of all that you are at this human here.

What do you see?

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Oh, this human is going through so many challenges. This is the most challenging lifetime you have ever lived! The most confusing, the most amazing, and the most challenging.

Now, from this perspective as the I Am of you, how do you feel when you look at this human?

What do you want to say to this human?

Whatever it is, I ask you to say it right now.

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.

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And allow yourself, as the human, to take it in.

Take in the love of all that you are.

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Romana Aniya: Take it in.

Breathe it in.

Allow this love to be compassionate to all of you.

To these parts of you that are afraid, or scared, or whatever the human experiences.

To these parts of you who know that they are stepping into new, and this new might also mean to expose yourself more, or to let go of some safe spaces. Maybe even some relationships, or environments.

It might be calling you to truly open up to be who you are, to do what you have been preparing yourself to do for a long time, to let go of the identities that don’t serve you anymore. To open up even more to your authentic self, to feel, to allow yourself, to really be yourself.

It’s scary sometimes.

Maybe we are entering the time when we need to share more of us, to openly show our heart. Not to just be shining our light, but to shine it in sharing.

Each of us has a different path. But what is common, maybe, to all of us, is that we are opening to a new level of transparency. Not hiding anymore so much within, but to open, whatever this means for you. To live on an even deeper level. To engage in life. To allow the heart to be joyful. And to be sad, or whatever, but to open up to this divine magnificence that we are, and to the human magnificence.

Honoring what human is, what human can do, what human can feel.

Honoring this vulnerability, which is so beautiful!

I feel like for so long I and many of us have been trying to be aware, be conscious, be spiritual, which meant also denying the human. But it is so beautiful to blend this together, to look at us from the eyes of our divinity, and to look at divinity through the eyes of human and realize that it is the same.

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John: Ah, and it is so grand!

You see, from Soul’s perspective, from the I Am’s perspective, these little experiences that seem so big to you, oh, they feel big to your soul also. Not like they matter so much in terms of the way the human thinks of it, but they bring so much knowing.

Ah, so much… You call it wisdom, but it’s really just knowing.

Mmm…

Ah, you are so grand! So very grand!

Can you let that in?

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We are reminding John and Romana of this, also.

You are so very grand! Can you let it in?

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Those doubts come up, and they are so human. And even that is a beautiful experience.

Can you see, through that, how grand you are?

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You see, as angels before you came to Earth, as Soul, you never had the ability to doubt yourself. Imagine that!

It just wasn’t in your realm of comprehension to doubt yourself, so can you see what an incredible experience it is to be here on Earth where you can doubt yourself?

Where you can doubt yourself, and then you can use that to expand. To go beyond the doubt.

You never had any fear in the other realms.

But here on Earth you have fear, and you use it. Especially if you are wise, you use that fear to expand. To go beyond it. To discover more of you.

Ahh…

It’s so incredible from soul’s perspective! The fear, the pain, the confusion, all of it, is unique to the human experience. And it has brought you and your soul so much knowing, so much experience, so much wisdom!

And now, if you are here, if you are resonating with this, you are bringing it all together.

All of those other ‘little fingers’ of you, you are bringing them all together. Gathering together all of their experiences and bringing it all into this amazing nectar of wisdom, of knowing, of experience, of this incredible being that you are.

Can you feel that?

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So, dear Romana, anything to close with?

Romana Aniya: I would invite all of us to stay in this beautiful receiving place of this awareness, of this beautiful you that is not even definable.

I feel so much light and love entering the body and rejuvenating it and bringing so much new perspective to these ‘little fingers’ as they realize, Oh, I am a finger of something so much bigger!

And being aware of that is so important, and to listen to the new messages that our soul is having prepared for us. And the feelings, and new directions.

So, I would like to thank you all for being here with us! For me it was a very beautiful experience. Thank you, John!

John: Thank you!

Romana Aniya: I feel like creating these places where we can come back to ourselves and remember the bigger picture. And that is what we did now, I guess.

John: Yes!

One thing we want to add in is, we used the metaphor of the ‘little finger,’ but that is not to minimize in any way this being that you are, you the human. Each one of these beings that you are across your timescape, each one is itself all that you are, all together. And each one is now starting to realize that.

So the human tends to… Well, we use metaphors, but don’t let that metaphor be a box! It’s not about you being a little insignificant finger. You are so significant to your soul! But not in the ways that the human worries about. And that is what we want you to hear.

To your human, everything you are going through, oh, it matters so much as an experience. But it does not matter that you get it right.

You cannot get it wrong. It is just an experience!

It does not matter what you as the human do next. You will know.

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As you open up to your soul, to your knowing, you will know in each moment what to do, and you will find life unfolding for you in the moment.

Like the illustration John saw one time of the goddess stepping into the void, and with each step creation blossomed. The earth itself came into existence and blossomed beneath her foot.

And that is how life is meant to be.

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The human wants to plan it all out, and to lay it all out ahead of itself. But as Soul, you know that is not how it works.

It opens. It blossoms. It exists as you step forward.

And that is all it takes.

Open up.

Put one foot in front of the other.

You will always know, in the moment, where to put your next foot.

And discover what is there.

Ahh…

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Romana Aniya: And everything comes in the right moment.

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John: In the right moment. Which does not always match the human’s perception of what the right moment is!

Romana Aniya: No!

[laughter]

John: Indeed.

Ahh…

It has been an honor to be here with each of you, and with my so-beloved wife!

Romana Aniya: And so-beloved husband!

John: Ahh…

Until next time, and so it is.

Romana Aniya: Bye-bye.