Restoring the Feminine Captain of You

This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible.

Restoring the Feminine Captain of You

Channeled by John McCurdy on 22 July 2023

I am that I am!

Master John of Magical Service. Or Master Anna…

We are here together. We are both facets of John’s soul, the feminine and the masculine.

Mmm…

We are here today to address some issues that are coming up for so many of you.

Someone sent us this question and said, “I feel like I’m being led around by a carrot always dangling in front of my nose, and I’m getting tired of it.”

We’ve heard some form of this from so many of you, and we see it on your social media, so we wanted to address this not just in the class, but for everyone.

Mmm…

And to the dear one who asked this question, and to all of you, we would reply with a simple question: Why?

Why are you still following that rotten old carrot around?

Oh, don’t look at us. It’s not our carrot.

It’s not Adamus’s carrot, or Tobias’s carrot, or anybody else’s carrot. It’s all yours.

It is entirely, one hundred percent, your carrot.

Mmm…

You see, it is your mind that created that carrot. It is your mind that keeps dangling it in front of your nose. And it is your mind that keeps on chasing it around and around and around the merry-go-round.

It’s yours, so why do you keep chasing it?

Well, we must commend the mind on its ability to act, and to play games with itself, because that’s all this is. And you see, the mind is going to keep playing that game with you until you have the courage to tell your mind, No more! No fucking more!

Oh, but that’s hard for you to do.

Mmm…

Many of you have heard the story of the wound of Isis, as shared by the ascended master Tobias in the beautiful, brilliant, Sexual Energies School offered by the Crimson Circle. And in case some of you haven’t, we’ll share a little bit of it here.

You see, Isis is the personification, you could say, of the Divine Feminine. She’s not an actual being like you are. She exists inside of you, as your feminine facet.

You see, as humans you think of yourselves as men and women, all masculine or all feminine, and that’s not how it is at all, as you are learning. The human, the angel that embodies in the human, is a whole being. But a long time ago, in order to create this experience, this playground that you call your human reality, your soul—your energies—split themselves in two, in a sense. And in a sense—this is a metaphor so don’t get all literal on us—it split itself in two, into masculine and feminine.

Ahh…

And each one of you, as a whole being, contain both, equally.

Now, in human experience you tend to express one a bit more than the other, depending on which lifetime you’re in. You have lifetimes as feminine and lifetimes as masculine, but it’s more like, at most, a 40 percent to 60 percent ratio. You still have both inside of you, but you express a little bit more of one than the other.

And that ratio sometimes is much less than that. Sometimes it’s very close to 50/50. Sometimes a man expresses more feminine than masculine, and sometimes a woman can express more masculine than feminine.

So, this is not about men and women. It is about the masculine and the feminine inside of you.

Isis is the metaphorical divine feminine, the archetypal feminine. We call the archetypal masculine Adam.

So, long before Earth existed, as angels were beginning to discover themselves and were exploring this grand question of, Who am I? they found even then that some resonated more with the feminine and some more with the masculine. So there came to be these archetypal houses, you could say, of Isis and Adam.

Well, these angels were trying to find their way home, for it felt like they had lost something. But they forgot that they had deliberately left home, or what you call home, in order to explore themselves. In order to answer this question of, “Who am I?”

They went through what Tobias called “the wall of fire,” this shredding into an almost infinite number of fragments of self, of you. And so you started looking for home. What happened? You couldn’t remember. How did I get here? What did I lose? I must get home! But you couldn’t find it.

Then you ran into somebody else. Oh, maybe this being knows how to get there! But they didn’t.

Then you found that you could grab their energy, or some of it, and bring it into you and give yourself a boost of energy. And you thought, If I can only get enough energy, maybe I can find my way home. So you began feeding on the energies of others, and they began feeding on your energies.

Well, you are a sovereign being, so you always end up getting your energy back. It turns out it’s actually only your energy anyway, but that’s for a different discussion.

So, you began feeding on each other’s energy, and even on your own, and that led to power games. For that’s all power is, trying to get enough energy so that you can manipulate your life and find your way home.

So all these power games began. Battles happened. Wars began among the angels.

That’s all the angels are: you, without a body. And that’s what you are: an angel, with a body. Or at this point, with a whole bunch of bodies scattered across your timescape.

So all these wars happened, and angels began to suffer. Suffering was something they took on because they didn’t understand, and that was the whole point of all this experience you’ve had: to understand yourself.

So the battles happened, and the wars happened. You couldn’t kill each other, for there is no death, other than when the human body wears out. You don’t die. You can’t die. You can’t lose yourself. But sometimes it sure felt like it!

Another angel would surprise you and grab your energy, or trick you and grab your energy. It felt horrible to you. It felt amazing to them, and you learned to do it too. You’d grab their energy, and it felt great for a short time, and they felt horrible.

So these battles escalated and…

Well, the feminine, Isis, the feminine archetype, and Adam, are who you are. The feminine saw this energy feeding and saw the suffering that was happening, and she tried to stop it. And she couldn’t, because each of these beings is a sovereign, free individual. Nobody listened, and the battles only escalated until Isis took it personally.

You see, the feminine was always, you could say, the captain of the ship. The masculine was the crew, in a sense. The masculine existed—the masculine’s greatest desire was—to serve Isis.

Adam was in love with Isis. Adam was the one who discovered love. He was in love with Isis, and his greatest joy was in serving Isis.

Isis, the feminine, was the creative force. Oh, force is the wrong word, but you know what we mean. The creative energies.

Mmm…

So, Isis saw the suffering. She felt sorry for those who were suffering, and she came to feel ashamed because she couldn’t stop it. She couldn’t do anything about it. And finally, in her shame, she threw up her hands and said, “Adam, I can’t do this. I don’t know how to stop the suffering, so you take over.” And Isis, in a sense, went into hiding.

But she is still part of you, so she couldn’t really hide. But for a very long time Isis was lost in her shame, and we call it “the wound of Isis.”

Oh, there was a wound of Adam that went with it, because Adam felt rejected. And, Adam was given a job that he was never designed for, and that he had no ability to do.

Oh, he tried, because his greatest desire was to serve Isis, so he said, “Okay, I’ll do my best.” But all Adam knew how to do was to push things around and to play more power games, and every time he did it blew up in his face and it hurt people even more. It simply fed the energy feeding games, the power games.

So, ultimately, all of this led to the creation of Earth, because these intense power games and all this energy feeding brought creation to a standstill. Partly, that was because Isis wasn’t creating anymore. She was lost in her shame. And in that shame—just like a human, when they feel ashamed of themselves they act out to try to solve that difficult feeling—Isis became very manipulative, very seductive. She learned how to use her powers of seduction to get Adam to do whatever she wanted him to do, but always with the focus on him.

Now, in recent times Isis has begun to wake up, and she has begun to see the imbalances. At first she blamed it all on Adam, but now she is starting to see that it wasn’t Adam’s fault. It wasn’t even her fault. It was simply that they did not understand.

And now you are beginning to understand. You are coming back to yourself. Isis and Adam within you are reuniting and Isis is beginning to let go of her shame.

Oh, that brings up issues for Adam, because he’s so ashamed of not being able to do her job. But he is starting to realize that it wasn’t a job he had the ability to do.

So, Isis and Adam are coming back together within you.

At the very core of all things they have already reunited, and it takes time for that reunion to filter out through all of the humans. But that’s what is happening.

Mmm…

So, back to the mind.

The mind is an expression of Adam. The soul, you could say, is the expression of Isis. (But let’s not get too literal on this, for these are just metaphors.) And as this reunion happens, divinity and the mind, like Isis and Adam, are reuniting.

Mmm…

Deep breath, John…

John is having a little trouble finding the right words and metaphors here, but he’s doing fine.

So, some of you are so afraid to tell your mind to stop chasing that carrot, and that is the wounded Isis within you, the feminine who gave up her rightful place as the captain of your ship.

Mmm…

Well, the thing is, Adam cannot change while he’s trying to do Isis’ job, and he is going to try to keep doing that job until she takes it back. Because somebody has to, as far as he’s concerned, and, well, serving her is his job. That’s what he was designed for. (Don’t get literal here.) So Adam did his best.

You see, Isis, the feminine, knows how to inspire you. She knows how to inspire creation. But Adam doesn’t understand that at all, so Adam, through the mind, tried to imitate that. He started dangling a carrot in front of his own face, in front of you, and you have been chasing it all this time.

But you see, Adam cannot stop until you, dear Isis—and we are speaking to all of you, men or women, it doesn’t matter—until you, Isis, Feminine, let go of your shame and step back into your rightful place as the captain of your ship.

A ship at sea without a captain is lost. It will crash on the rocks, as you have done so many times.

A ship at sea with a captain who no longer does his or her job is even more lost, and will crash even faster.

So, if you want your mind to stop leading you around with a carrot, you, dear Isis within each one of you humans, you have to step up. You have to step back into your rightful place, and you have to say to the mind, “No more! Stop it! We are done with that game!”

And do you know what your mind is going to do at that point, when you say that and mean it?

Your mind is going to burst into tears, just like John is doing right now, and it is going to say, Thank you!

Oh, it will put up a little fight, because it’s so used to this role. And because it wants to be sure that you are really real, and that you actually mean it. But that’s what your mind wants, more than anything.

You think you are respecting your mind by not telling it what to do. But that is the most disrespectful thing you can do to your mind!

Hmm…

Because your mind needs your direction. It needs you to be the captain. It’s been trying to be the captain of your ship all this time, and it simply doesn’t work. It never has worked, although it has created some amazing experiences. Difficult, challenging, painful experiences, but amazing. Amazing in their difficulty.

Ahh…

So, if you want to get rid of that stinky, rotten old carrot, you need to face up to your mind and tell it what to do.

Somebody asked us, “Isn’t my mind another aspect of me, like my other lifetimes? How can I tell them what to do?”

No. Your mind is an aspect of you in a certain way, but not like that. Your mind is an aspect of you in the same way that your hand is an aspect of you, and you don’t think twice about telling your hand what to do. And thank goodness, because if you stopped, if you suddenly turned off those electrical impulses that go from your brain to your hand every time you decide you want your hand to do something, your hand would go crazy. It would freak out. It would destroy you very quickly, because it needs that direction. It’s a part of you. It’s a tool. And it needs to know what to do. It needs your direction.

Well, the same is true of your mind. It needs you to be the captain of your ship.

And when you do, when you really do take that role back, your mind will thank you. Adam will cry for joy. And you, dear Isis, will find that everything begins coming back into balance for you.

But you have to be the captain of your ship!

The captain of a ship—oh, a ship is NOT a democracy! The captain of a ship has to be the sovereign authority, or it simply doesn’t work. The ship will be destroyed, because a ship must have all of its parts and all of its crew in harmony. Each one has its own job.

Just like your hand has its job and your foot has its job, your mind also has its job. And all these parts of you want, more than anything else they want, for you to give them direction.

When Isis abdicated her role as the captain, Adam tried to take it over. The mind tried to take it over. That’s why the headbands were used in Atlantis, to expand and conform the mind. It was Adam trying his best to fulfill Isis’ request. But it didn’t work very well, as you well know.

So, it’s time for Isis to be the captain again. And when she does, she will find Adam so happy to support her in that! Because that is what he wanted all along.

You will find your mind beginning to cooperate with you.

You will find your mind relaxing, and quieting down.

Hmm…

Your mind is so noisy, because that is its job: to keep you distracted from the shame of failure that Isis felt, and to try to take care of the ship in her place.

It never worked. Your ship has crashed and burned so many times, and there is so much wreckage at the bottom of your ocean.

Mmm…

So, now it is time. Oh, all of that wreckage just added to Isis’ shame, and there is only one solution.

Only one! And that is to let it go, and for Isis to say, “No more. I am not going to live like this anymore. And dear Adam, and dear mind, no more games!”

It is time to be here now, and to allow the joy back in. And then you won’t feel like you are being led around by a carrot anymore.

Mmm…

We also want to mention another aspect of this carrot thing: It is about the future.

The carrot is always in the future.

It’s this promise of something better in the future, and that is always, always, always going to disappoint you. Always!

No, the way you let go of the carrot is, you come into the NOW.

Mmm…

Oh, you keep trying to get out of the experience you are having right now, and that’s what the carrot does. It shows you that, as they say, the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. But it isn’t. It’s an illusion.

There is only one way to improve your experience, and that is to change your perspective.

You see, every experience that you go through has both positive and negative in it. It has both masculine and feminine in it. There is nothing better or worse about any experience, for it is all in how you look at it.

You see, Isis knows that. But she’s been fighting it for a long time because, well, she took on the pain of everyone else. She feels sorry for those people who are suffering. She feels so sorry for them that she’s terrified of telling her mind what to do, because it might cause it to suffer. And so she suffers.

It’s time to stop. It’s time to say, “No more!”

It’s time to say, “Mind, be still. Rest. You earned it!” and mean it.

Oh, your mind is going to be so happy when you do that! It’s what it has wanted all along.

But right now, you are still taking on that shame for everybody else. You are still saying, “Oh, I can’t tell my mind what to do, because it might feel bad.”

Well, it won’t. And if it does for a little bit, too bad! Let it. It will come around.

And all those people out there that Isis feels so ashamed about, that she feels so sorry for their suffering?What a disrespectful thing! What a disrespectful attitude!

Those people are going through their experiences, in order to discover themselves. They do not need you feeling sorry for them!

They need you to be a clear light. They need you to speak the truth when it comes up. More than anything, they need you to be the captain of your own ship and to say, “No more! No more games! No more carrots! No more looking into the future for something better than the now!”

They need you to come into the now and say, “I love me, just the way I am!” and to give yourself a hug.

Hmm…

We talked about giving these other aspects of you a hug in our recent sessions, but even more important is to give you a hug. To accept yourself just the way you are, and then to make a choice. A clear choice: No more games. No more carrots. No more looking to the future for something better.

Be here now.

Be in the experience you are having right now, and you will find that it is amazing.

There is so much happening inside of you right now, and the things that you get frustrated with are all contributing to that, to the beautiful transformation, to the beautiful movement of your energy. So let go of that carrot.

Give yourself a hug. And the best way you can do that is to get up there in the captain’s chair and be the captain.

Be the director.

Give your crew its orders, not your requests.

Give it your orders, because that is what the crew of a ship needs.

A ship cannot function unless the crew are following their orders. And they know that, and they are happy to do that. They are thrilled to do that, because they know it will get them to where you all want to be. They know it will protect the ship, and they are tired of crashing and burning over and over and over again because they don’t have a captain.

So, it is time.

Dear Isis, if you are feeling led around by a carrot, it’s time to step up. It is time to be the captain and to say, “No. More. I am the captain here, and I, as soul, as a whole being, I decide what happens now. And you, my dear mind, my dear hand, my dear foot, every part of me and of my crew, you WILL follow my orders!”

And that… Well, we’re not going to offer another carrot. We’re just going to say try it, and mean it, and watch what happens.

You see, your soul doesn’t chase carrots around. It doesn’t dangle carrots in front of you. Your soul just relishes the experience.

It is not trying to find a better experience. It is not trying to find a better experience for you, though your experiences are likely to get better as you open up more to your soul.

What your soul really wants, at this point, is to commune with you. But it can’t do that while you are so distracted by all these mind questions, by all these carrots you are chasing and all these carrots you are trying to understand.

Let go.

No more!

You do not need to understand these things in your mind. You need to feel them with your soul, from the perspective of your soul.

Your soul does not have questions. It simply feels, and it knows.

Mmm…

So, be the captain of your ship.

Tell your mind to be still. It is not its job anymore to figure all these things out, or to protect you. Its job now is to rest. To perform its functions of interfacing with the human biology, and to rest.

It is no longer the captain of your ship. It tried. It tried so hard to take that role for you, but it couldn’t. And it can’t. And it is time to give it a break. To give it a rest.

But to do that, in order for your mind to rest, it needs to know you are real. It needs to know you mean it.

And the only way to let it know you mean it is to tell it what to do. To say, No more games. No more noise. Just be still. Just be in this experience. No more chasing the carrot. No more chasing after a better experience. Stop that! BE IN THIS EXPERIENCE!

Hmm…

And then watch what happens.

And so it is.