Have you been feeling strange lately? Is your body hurting and feeling strange sensations? Are you feeling depressed and discouraged, and like maybe you just want to leave? Maybe it’s because you are inside your own cocoon, right in the middle of transforming into a Divine Human.
Here, in one of the most passionate and intense messages I’ve ever channeled, Johannes (my soul) discusses what is happening and what you can (and cannot) do about it.
Click the triangle to play the recording.
Getting Through the Transformation – by John McCurdy
Channeled on April 21, 2021
I am that I am!
I am Johannes of Magical Service, otherwise known as John’s soul.
Here to do a little magic today!
What a time it is! What an incredible, amazing time this is!
Oh, the human says, “Oh my god, get me out of here! It’s so intense! It’s so difficult! It’s so heavy!”
Indeed. And once again I’ll ask you, how do you think the caterpillar feels when it’s in the cocoon dissolving into goo, and then reforming itself into an entirely new creature? What do you think it feels like?
Well, that’s where you’re at right now. If you are attracted to this material, then that’s where you are at. You are transforming from that old caterpillar who lived its life crawling slowly from leaf to leaf, eating and pooping and trying not to get eaten by the birds or stepped on by the humans.
And you are transforming. You are in the cocoon! You are not imagining it in some far-off future anymore. You are in it! You are in the process of transforming into one of the most amazing creatures on this planet. Not nearly as amazing as humans, of course, but—well, now, let’s say that different:
The butterfly is an incredibly amazing creature, who is not nearly as amazing as the human. And certainly not nearly as amazing as the divine human that you are becoming!
But here you are. You are in the cocoon, and you feel like shit a lot of the time.
You have those moments when you know what’s happening and you know who you are, when you’re feeling the beginnings of that butterfly, that divine creature that you are becoming. Oh, but other days your body hurts. It’s full of aches and pains.
John got up this morning and everything hurt. Oh, so many aches and pains in his body! And more than that, the energies running through it! He felt disoriented. It was all I could do to get out of bed and go make some breakfast and take care of the things that needed to be done. He was feeling so disoriented within himself.
Oh, we’ve been talking with people lately in some of our private sessions, and sometimes they just want to leave. It’s too difficult, and they want to go. And others just want to stop hurting. They feel so strange and their mind panics. They think something is wrong. They think they’re not doing something right and that somehow they are failing.
Dear friend, there is nothing wrong!
Your body, well, it’s dissolving into a puddle of goo while still maintaining enough form that you can walk around in your human world! Oh, of course it hurts! It is becoming a whole new creature, while still maintaining the illusion of a caterpillar so that the other caterpillars in the world won’t destroy you.
Oh, it’s confusing as heck! It hurts! It’s difficult!
And all the while your soul is—ahh, John was about to say, “coming in,” but that’s the wrong word. Your soul is here. It’s always been here. It’s you. It’s your Divine Self. It is not off in some other realm, it’s right here! But there was a veil between you the human and you the soul, to keep you from being too distracted, to make it possible for you to have your human experience, and now that veil is dissolving away and you are becoming more and more aware of your soul.
Oh, your mind doesn’t really get it yet. All your mind knows is that suddenly, you are becoming so damn sensitive! You are feeling so much, things you never ever felt before!
Well, to a certain extent, some of those things haven’t been there to feel before. There’s so much change in the world right now. Consciousness is rising and a lot of beings don’t like that. They’re resisting. It’s a losing battle, it’s already a done deal. Consciousness is rising and that’s just the way it is, but there is resistance. And, any change creates chaos, creates confusion, creates fear, and you are feeling all of that.
And more than that, you are feeling now through your soul’s senses. Oh, you the human, you have five physical senses that you’re used to, and something else you call the sixth sense, where you feel the energies. Where you feel—well, you’re really just feeling your soul. Most humans have hidden that sixth sense. They’ve buried it deep inside for so long.
Well, here you are. The moment you started spinning that cocoon around yourself, you could say the moment you woke up—the moment your soul woke up is a better way to say it—you began to feel through that sixth sense. And now you’re discovering that it is hundreds of thousands of different senses! But they don’t make any sense to your mind.
Your mind can only perceive and comprehend those five physical senses, which are all part of one very small sense called “human.” But you, as Soul, as Divinity, you have thousands, and hundreds of thousands, of different senses, senses that are completely beyond the comprehension of your mind, or the understanding of your mind. And you are feeling them.
These energies coming through your body, they are not really new. They’ve always been there, but you are feeling them in a new way. And so, when your mind tries to figure them out, it can’t. It just feels intense.
So, all these sensations confuse your mind. They confuse you. You think there’s something wrong, and there is not anything wrong. You are simply becoming the butterfly. Only we’re going to go way, way beyond the butterfly.
You are becoming the Divine Human. You are becoming the master, walking on Earth.
Ha! Oh, the limitations of human metaphors!
Yes, you will walk occasionally, but you’ll be doing so much more than walking on Earth!
But here you are. You’re in this transition state. We’ve used the metaphor before of the car, the old clunker car. You’re driving down the road, hoping it holds together long enough to get you to your destination, and suddenly it begins to fall apart around you. You see pieces falling off. Tires are blowing out. You try to hit the brakes and the brake pedal falls off. You try to steer and the steering wheel comes off in your hands, and you’re still going down the road at a hundred and forty kilometers an hour.
Suddenly nothing is working anymore, and the car is crumpling and breaking and falling apart all around you. You can’t slow it down. You can’t steer it. You’re going too fast to get out. All you can do is sit there, thinking you’re about to die!
Oh, and you are about to die! To everything that you have known before. Just as the caterpillar dies to everything it has known before.
Oh, but you are staying here. Your consciousness is still here. Even your body is still here, in a way, and you’re still going down the road at a hundred and forty kilometers an hour.
Then you start to realize you’re going even faster, and faster!
Then you start to see new things taking shape around you. Slowly, gradually, what used to be an old beat-up car begins to look more like a fancy modern airplane, and it’s going faster and faster. It lifts off the ground, and you’re still holding the steering wheel in your hands, wondering what to do.
You look around. You see obstacles up ahead. Or at least you think you do, for you can’t even see out very well right now. And you wonder what to do.
And then, eventually, the ride smooths out a little bit. You open your eyes—you’ve had them shut up for a while because you were so scared. You open your eyes and look around, and you’re no longer in an old beat up automobile. Instead you are in this fancy, modern, new airplane, flying through the sky!
But you notice that you still have that steering wheel in your hands, and you’re holding on to it so tight that your knuckles are white from the strain. You’re holding on to that steering wheel and you keep turning it, you keep trying to steer this thing, and it doesn’t work because the steering wheel isn’t attached to anything.
You realize that there are no controls in this airplane.
And finally, finally somewhere along the way, you give up. You throw that steering wheel out the window.
You let it go.
Oh, and then even this airplane begins to change. It begins to dissolve away, and you realize that it was you.
It was an illusion you created to help bridge the transformation, and it dissolves away. And now, it is just you. You and your soul.
That’s really what the airplane was. It’s really what the car was. It’s really what everything around you is!
Everything you were so afraid of crashing into. Everything that you are, it’s all your soul.
Now you find yourself suspended in space.
Everything gets quiet.
You realize that nothing is moving anymore.
Then you realize that there’s nothing there to move. It’s empty space.
It’s not even space. It’s nothingness.
It is the void.
You realize that for the first time in your life, your mind doesn’t have any words.
Your mind doesn’t have any way to describe what it’s seeing.
Your mind wants to ask questions: “What is this?”
But there aren’t any questions to ask, because there’s nothing.
Let’s just be here, for a moment, in this nothing.
Everything has dissolved away.
(pause to feel)
Then you feel a presence. You feel a touch, a gentle caress.
And then your soul says, “I’m here. I’ve always been here. I am the one you’ve always longed for. I am your deepest and truest love. I am you.
“We were separated for so long, or at least we felt like we were separated, because it was necessary. Now that old journey is over. Now we are reunited. Now you and I are one.
“Now we exist in a new life, in a new state that is beyond anything the butterfly can imagine, anything that has ever been imagined before.
“Now, together as one, we can walk on Planet Earth. We can even drive that old clunky car around, or that shiny new airplane! Or we can simply be wherever we want to be, in whatever form we want to take.”
(pause to feel)
Now you notice movement around you. As you look, you find a patch of earth around you, with grass and flowers blossoming all around you. You’re standing in the middle.
You look out, and there’s still a void out there.
You take a step, and this little patch of grass and flowers and earth expands.
You find that it continues to expand wherever you step.
You begin to walk.
You find that right here in the middle of this void, this amazing, beautiful garden blooms around you. Wherever you step, there’s something new.
You begin to walk, and to explore.
Then, you find yourself walking once again on Earth, and as you walk through this life that was so difficult before, it still looks the same. But as you walk, quietly, through this new life on Earth, you find that all those problems, all those issues, all those aches and pains, they become unimportant.
They resolve themselves. They fade away, because you’re no longer paying attention to them.
You’re feeling so in love with you, so in love with this new life, this divinity blossoming all around you.
And those old hurts, those old aches and pains, those old traumas, they have no meaning anymore.
This new life, this new creation, is so amazing. So magical. It captures all your attention, and all those old things simply become meaningless.
You find new life blossoming all around you.
You find people relating to you in new and beautiful ways.
You find the issues of the earth no longer matter to you, because now you see reality.
You see Earth transforming around you, all by itself.
Now you understand that everything you see and everything you experience always was your own creation. And so you have compassion to allow all those others to have their own creations, to live in their own misery for as long as that’s what they choose, because now you understand that they will step out of it eventually, just like you have.
You see dear friend, this is what you are becoming.
Oh, the mind still has it’s questions: Why don’t I feel like that yet? What am I doing wrong? What do I need to do to get there?
Well, you’ve probably already noticed that steering wheel in your hand. You’ve probably already noticed that it isn’t connected anymore. It isn’t working anymore. And if you jam it back on and try to force it to work it just makes you crash, and you’re still going down the road at 140 kilometers and accelerating!
So, the best thing you can do is throw that steering wheel out the window. Because dear friend, your soul is in charge of your life now. It’s what you always wanted.
To the human it feels like jumping off a cliff. “How dare I throw that steering wheel away when I’m going down the road so fast?”
Well, dear human, what do you have to lose?
Because that steering wheel isn’t working anymore. Haven’t you noticed?
Throw it out! Take a deep breath. Allow the ride. Allow the noise. Allow the aches and the pains.
Nothing else is working anymore, so what do you have to lose?
One way or another, you are about to die. You can do it the hard way and end up destroying your physical body and dying like everybody else, or you can die like the caterpillar by allowing the transformation.
Oh, it is death, because after this transformation the caterpillar no longer exists. And it never will again.
Funny thing is though, after this transformation you’ll be able to appear as the caterpillar whenever you want to, and act like the caterpillar whenever you want to. But it will be a whole different being, living from a whole different place.
The mind still wonders what it’s getting wrong. Why does it hurt so much?
Dear human, let it go. Let that steering wheel go!
Oh, you’re holding on to that steering wheel so tight! You’re beating it against yourself and against your car.
Oh, John doesn’t have the right words here. But you’re holding on so tight, and that’s what hurts more than anything else! That’s what is causing the stress!
The more stressed you feel, the tighter your grip is. Your body is so tense.
Let go. Throw that steering wheel out the window.
This is one of the most difficult points that any being goes through, this letting go. But it is a point that every master has come to, has had to walk through on their way to their mastery and to their enlightenment. This point of saying, “No more. I am not going to do this anymore! This car is out of control and I can’t control it, so I’m going to stop trying. I’m going to surrender to my own divinity, to my own self, my own soul. And I, the human, am going to let go of this steering wheel and throw it out.”
You see, your soul can’t help you as long as you are trying to control your life. Your soul can only sit back and watch. Oh, it brings in the wisdom, it distills the wisdom from the experience. And it watches with a big smile on its face because this is a beautiful, amazing experience, and it knows that one day you will see through its eyes and you will see how beautiful and amazing this time is.
And when you let go, when you throw that steering wheel out the window, when you stop trying to get anything right or to do anything right, when you just take a deep breath and say: This is me. I’ve done the best I can. I’ve done the best I knew how, every step of the way, and this is me. And from here on I’m going to be okay with me just how I am, and whatever happens with this out-of-control life, I’m just going to let it happen. Because it’s not up to me now. It’s not up to me the human or me the mind anymore. It’s up to Soul. It’s up to Divinity, MY divinity. So I’m just going to let it happen, and I’m going to sit here and do my best to keep breathing, and observe the ride. And that’s all.
Well, dear friend, that’s when your soul can take over. That’s when your soul can begin arranging things for you and bringing in the new potentials.
You see, your mind tries to look into the future, but it can’t see anything. It doesn’t have that ability. So it looks into its past, because that’s the only thing your mind can see, and it pulls up all these things from the past. Things it liked, things it’s afraid of, and it projects them all out into your future. And that’s the only thing it can see.
Your mind can see, maybe, one or two or three possible outcomes. Maybe five or six bad outcomes, but no more than one or two good outcomes. But I, Soul, I see so many incredible potentials, because I can see into the future and I can bring those potentials into your life. But only after you stop trying to control your life yourself. Only after you take that old steering wheel and fling it out your window.
There’s another part to this. The human says, “Okay, I’ll let go of control. But now I’ve got to go off to work at this job that makes me feel so yucky inside, this job I’m so bored with, where I have to go do all these different things that, oh, I hate them so much! But who’s going to pay the bills? Who’s going to pay the rent or put the food on the table if I don’t go do it?”
Dear friend, I didn’t ask you to just turn that steering wheel around. I asked you to throw it out the window.
You see, this is just another way of trying to stay in control of your life. This is a way that you demean and degrade yourself in order to try to keep a little bit of control. No wonder you hurt!
I ask you to look at the things in your life that don’t feel good, but that you keep doing.
Oh, if they feel good, that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with a job if it feels good. If it makes you happy! If it makes your heart sing! If it doesn’t, it is the opposite of loving yourself.
And the thing is, while it might bring in enough money to pay your bills in this moment, that’s probably all it’s doing and it’s probably not even doing that very well at this point. And I can promise you, it’s going to stop even doing that if you keep pushing it. Or new bills will come that are impossible.
For you see, now is the time to take the human off the hook. Now is the time for the human to give up its responsibilities and allow Soul, Divinity, to take over.
You see, your soul is communicating with you constantly. But the mind can’t hear it, because it isn’t in words. It’s in gentle, subtle feelings, and the mind is trying so hard and is so caught up in its dramatic emotions, in all of its fears and worries and trying to protect you. It doesn’t work.
It’s time to start listening to your soul, and you can’t do that if you’re pushing yourself to do all these things that don’t feel good. For you see, that is your guidance.
You feel something, or you see something, and you feel a peace inside, a little light in your heart. That is your soul saying, “Pay attention to that. Go in that direction!”
Or you see something and you feel the heaviness. You feel kind of yucky, kind of awful when you’re going in that direction. Well, that’s your soul saying, “This is NOT the best direction for you!”
Well, then your mind jumps in and says, “But it’s the only way I can take care of myself! And isn’t self-love about providing for my future and making sure I don’t starve to death?”
No, dear friend, that is NOT self-love.
Self-love is saying, “Dear Soul, I want you in my life, so I’m turning my life over to you and I’m going to pay attention to those little feelings, to the things that light up my heart, or that close down my heart. I’m going to pay attention to the ones that light up my heart and I’m going to move away from the ones that don’t light up my heart.”
That is self-love, dear friend. And you will find that when you do that, your life will change.
Oh, some things will seem to blow up. Let them! It is time for them to be gone out of your life and other things will open up.
Maybe you’ll lose your apartment, or your house, or whatever. So what? There is something better that is going to take its place.
You are not going to starve to death. You are not going to end up on the street, unless you panic and decide that that’s the only option.
The only people that end up on the street are the people who choose it. Sometimes they choose it by default. Everything in their life seems to fall apart, and they don’t have the patience to be still, to be in that void. They think, “Oh, I can’t live here anymore, so I guess I have to live on the street.” And they dive into that. It’s just another way of staying in control of your life, and their souls can’t do anything else.
So, have patience. Trust those little knowings.
In fact, I’m going to ask you to make a commitment to yourself. This is a commitment that John had to make many years ago. His soul was pushing him. I, Johannes, was pushing him to make this commitment to himself, and he was resisting. He was working at this job—it was a good job for a short time, and then it just wasn’t working for him anymore. He didn’t have time for where I was trying to take him, and I said, “John, you have to make a choice here.”
But he was like, “Who is going to pay the rent?” He was feeling the tension and the turmoil inside himself, and it got so strong that finally, one day, he tripped on the job and fell, and dislocated his right shoulder. He couldn’t work for three months.
As he picked himself up off the floor, in the worst pain he had ever experienced in his life, he laughed, because he got the point. And in that moment, as he sat down quickly to keep from passing out, in that very moment he made the commitment. He said, “I will never again in my life do something that doesn’t feel good just to pay the bills, or just because I think I need to. It simply isn’t worth it! It cuts me off from myself, and I would rather die.”
Well, in that moment, John’s life changed. It was more than 25 years ago, and he’s never had a job since. Oh, he’s done things here and there that came with money, but only for as long as they felt good. And more and more, even the money is opening up in his life.
Oh, it was terrifying for a while. It felt like he was living right on the edge. In fact, a lot of time he felt like in every moment he was stepping off the edge of the cliff. And somehow, the ground always appeared for his next footfall.
He’s never known, since then, what is going to happen next. Sometimes he can feel a general direction, sometimes not even that. Many, many times he doesn’t know how he is going to pay the bills at the end of the month, or whenever they come up. And yet, it always happens.
It’s been a long journey, but John lives a magical life. Because he made that commitment to never, ever again, do something that doesn’t feel good. Because it’s not worth it.
Oh, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do things sometimes that are challenging, that are even painful. Climbing a mountain is a big challenge. It can be painful in your body, and yet it’s exciting and makes you feel good inside, if that’s what you feel called to do.
You know the difference. There are things in life that are difficult and challenging, but they inspire you.
There are other things in life that feel like drudgery, and you only do them because you think you have to. It’s time to stop! Just stop!
Because while you are doing that, the only thing your soul can do is sit back, smile, and enjoy the experience even though you’re hating it.
So, make that commitment to yourself: No more drudgery. No more doing what doesn’t feel good.
If your job feels good, great. Enjoy it. If it doesn’t feel good, if it doesn’t inspire you and make you happy, then let it go!
And open up to the magic. Open up to the creation that unfolds and blossoms around you with each footfall.
Open up to the magic of the moment.
Your mind wants to know what’s going to happen in the future, and it cannot. It simply cannot, so let it go. Come back to now.
In this moment your life is full of magic. Be with that!
You’re going through a process of death, so think about this: If you knew you were going to die in a few days, how would you want to spend today?
Pay attention to the things that come up, to things that feel alive in you.
How would you spend your last day on Earth? Well, it’s time to go do that!
And then watch what happens.
Don’t let the fear stop you. The fear will be intense if you’re not already used to doing this, because it goes against everything the human thinks it knows. But as a wise person once wrote, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Walk through it.
Take the risk, because what do you have to lose?
Some more miserable life that makes you want to just leave the planet? Is that what you’re holding on to?
No, let it go. Walk through the fear. Take the risk.
Trust that little feeling in your heart. Do that thing you’ve always wanted to do, but couldn’t because you were stuck in this job or because it was too risky.
Whatever it is that lights you up inside, do that. Because that’s when your soul can step in and say, “Okay, here we go!”
Throw that steering wheel of your life out the window, once and for all. Be done with it!
Going forward you, the human, the mind, have no more control. You cannot control your life. And, no matter how hard you try, this is happening. You can slow it down a bit, you can make it a lot more painful, or you can let it go. Throw it out the window and step into your freedom.
Step off the edge of the cliff, because you already know that you can’t go backwards. There’s nothing back there but death. Painful death.
Now, your mind tells you that if you step off the edge of the cliff, there’s nothing there but a lot of hard and jagged rocks at the bottom. But listen to your soul. Your soul knows that the cliff is only an illusion.
It is an illusion that you put there, because you knew you would come to this place where you were having such a hard time letting go of the controls that you’d have to come to this place where you would have to literally step off the cliff in order to finally get it that your soul can do a much better job of managing your life than you the human can.
So, I invite you, I ask you, to step off the cliff. Let go of the controls. Throw that steering wheel out the window.
Follow those little inspirations inside you. They’re usually not exciting; don’t follow the excitement, for that can actually be a trap.
Follow the peace, the peaceful light inside you that lights you up. And don’t do anything, ever again, that feels yucky or that doesn’t inspire you.
This is when your soul can take over. This is when magic shows up in your life.
Oh, but it takes some patience for the human, because your body isn’t going to stop hurting instantly. You’re still becoming more and more sensitive, and that’s going to continue. It’s going to be a process, for some time to come, of learning to allow the sensitivity and to let it flow in your body. But you will find a new relationship with it.
You will find—oh, you’ll find so much opening up!
But throw that steering wheel out the window. Stop trying to stop the pain. Stop trying to fix the disorientation and the strange feelings.
And yes, you are going to run into trouble when you try to go back to the human life you’ve known. That’s like trying to go back and be a caterpillar after you’re halfway into being a butterfly. It doesn’t work, so let it go!
There is nothing wrong. There is everything right, so let it happen.
But make that commitment to yourself: I love myself so much that I am never, ever, ever again going to degrade myself by doing something that feels yucky to me, that doesn’t inspire me. And I am going to pay attention to the things that do inspire me in the moment, for the moment.
It’s not about the future anymore. It is about now.
If this were the last day of my life, how would I want to live it?
Do that, and watch what happens.
And just like John, you’re going to find yourself spending more and more time with a big smile on your face.
Oh, there will still be moments, like this morning for John, when you feel like you’re just about to leave, like you’re just about to fall apart.
Let it happen.
Surrender to the falling apart, and watch what happens.
Let go to your soul, because your soul can and will take you to places that you cannot even imagine, and that will amaze you and thrill you.
This transformation is still in process, still in progress, and will be for some time, for however long it takes. We don’t know.
It will happen more smoothly, and more quickly, after you throw that steering wheel out the window. After you make the choice, and the commitment, to love yourself first.
And that does not mean doing things you don’t like, that are not inspiring, in order to take care of your future. Your future is your soul’s job, not yours.
Your job is to nurture and respect yourself right here, right now.
And so it is.
* Note: Conscious channeling is an act of translating incoming feelings into human words the mind can understand. It is an imprecise process and sometimes the wrong words come out of my mouth. In the recording it is usually quite obvious what the intended meaning was, but it’s not so obvious in the transcript, so they must be corrected. Those words or phrases, if any, are marked with an asterisk (*) since they are different from the recording.
Also, since spoken word is very different from properly written word, along with my soul I have edited the text slightly. My (our) focus here is not on good grammar, but on clarity and readability without making it too confusing for those who choose to read along while listening to the audio recording. Changes that do not impact the meaning are not marked.
In transcribing these messages I have chosen to include many of the various ahhs, hmms, and other non-word sounds that come out of my mouth while channeling, because they indicate a moment to pause, take a breath, and reflect upon what has just been said. —John
Translated intro text goes here. To show Spanish tab select tab block (not an inner text block), go to Advanced and remove class jm-ktabs-no-es
Haga clic en el triángulo para reproducir la grabación.
TRANSLATED_TITLE – por John McCurdy (Traducido por Liliana Audet)
Canalizado el DAY de MONTH de 2021
Translated transcript goes here.
* Nota: La canalización consciente es un acto de traducción de los sentimientos que llegan en palabras humanas para que la mente pueda entenderlos. Es un proceso impreciso y a veces salen de mi boca palabras equivocadas. En la grabación generalmente es bastante obvio cuál era el significado deseado, pero no es tan obvio en la transcripción, por lo que deben ser corregidas. Estas palabras o frases, si las hubiera, están marcadas con un asterisco (*), ya que son diferentes a las de la grabación.
Además, como la palabra hablada es muy diferente de la palabra correctamente escrita, junto con mi alma he editado ligeramente el texto. Mi (nuestra) atención no se centra en la buena gramática, sino en la claridad y la legibilidad sin que resulte demasiado confuso para aquellos que decidan leer mientras escuchan la grabación de audio. Los cambios que no afectan al significado no están marcados.
Al transcribir estos mensajes he decidido incluir muchos de los diversos ahhs, hmms y otros sonidos sin palabras que salen de mi boca mientras canalizo, porque indican un momento para hacer una pausa, tomar un respiro y reflexionar sobre lo que se acaba de decir. —John