I knew there was something that needed to come after The Grand Integration, but I wasn’t sure what. And indeed, many people found that message and experience to be very helpful by itself.
As I interacted with my Intuition class and others over the next couple weeks I was reminded of the dragon, and of how, despite Heaven’s Cross, or maybe especially because of it, the dragon’s work with us is far from over. And of course, then the dragon wanted to talk!
The energy of the dragon is always a little shocking to me when it first comes in. And that’s the way it is supposed to be, because it is here to get our attention and to make us feel the shame we are still trying to hide. For only as we feel it, acknowledge it, and own it, can Soul take that shame and transmute it.
Do you have shame? The dragon says, “If you have problems and issues in your life, if you have aches and pains in your body, then you have shame.” And it talked at length about how to deal with that without piling more shame on top of shame.
By the end of this message I knew it was something special, and as I worked through the process of transcribing it into text I often found myself weeping for the beauty of it.
So, enjoy, if you dare!
This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible.
The Grand Integration – Part 2
Channeled by John McCurdy on 28 June 2023
[the dragon roars]
I am the dragon!
Ahh…
I am John’s dragon. I am a facet of John’s soul, of Master John, you could say, and I am here for part 2 of The Grand Integration.
Hmm…
Oh, you’ve heard of me.
I am also here representing your dragon, that part of you that is here, right now, to facilitate your own integration. That part of you that knows the score, so to speak, and won’t take any bullshit (or the nicer term, makyo).
Nah, let’s call it what it is: It’s people shit. And you are full of it.
Ha! And we are here to change that, to assist you in releasing that.
Oh, you don’t have to fix it. You don’t even have to do the cleaning! That’s your soul’s job, and your soul is doing it. But you have to be willing to let it go.
Oh, you people, you sit on your shit and you hold on to it as though it was gold!
Well, in a way it is, but you can only get to that gold when you let it go, when you let your soul clean it out and distill the wisdom from it.
Mmm…
Oh, but you hold on to it! And so I keep having to put it in your face.
I brought John’s attention to a post on Facebook the other day, someone complaining because, well, it’s three months after Heaven’s Cross and everything is falling apart! This person owes her mother a whole bunch of money because she used her mother’s credit cards, and now she feels so much shame because she has no money to pay the debt.
Well, that’s my doing, dear one. That is your dragon’s doing. Because, you see, it’s time to let go of the guilt and the shame.
Oh, I’m not here to fix your problems. Not at all! I’m here to put problems in your way until you pay attention.
You see, I’m here to dig out the guilt and the shame and the regret and the remorse and the fear and ahh… Oh, we could go on and on, there are so many words for shame.
Hmm…
Because, you see, you cannot go forward from here with shame. It’ll rip you apart.
That light of your divinity is coming on, and it’s shining into all the dark places. Oh, it’s shining out of all the dark places! That shit is starting to glow, and if you’re still ashamed of it, it’s going to tear you apart. It has to go, and you have to let go of it.
So… Oh, I’m not here to pay your debts or bring you the money you think you need, or to fix your body or bring love into your life. No, I’m here to show you the shame that you are still holding on to.
Oh, it goes way, way back. It goes all the way back to when you left home, long before you ever came to Earth. You went into the wall of fire, and you thought you came out the other side, and you got shredded. Shredded into more pieces than there are numbers to count them with. And oh, you felt so ashamed for that!
It took a long time to even begin to remember, and even now it’s mostly a collective concept. But you are starting to feel it.
Such deep, deep shame. You thought you must have done something really, really horrible to have been thrown out of your home, because it couldn’t even come into your consciousness that you actually made that choice yourself. But you did.
You said, “I want to know who I am, and what I am!” And you dove into the experience of discovering that in every way possible.
Hmm…
You discovered so much as an angel, a nonphysical being, and then you said, “I want to take this deeper.” So you and a bunch of others created this template where you could all create something similar, and play a game. You call it Earth. You call it the human reality.
You dove in, and oh, you went through so many experiences, and most of them were not pleasant. Many were, but for the most part you created a lot of shame, a lot of feelings of failure, a lot of failures in your life. Or so you saw it. Your soul has a different perspective, but you feel like a failure.
Every one of you, in some way, you feel like a failure. You look back at your other lives—or you try to—and then you feel like a failure because you don’t think you can remember them.
Ahh…
And then you do, or you remember bits and pieces of them, and you feel the shame from those lifetimes where you failed, or where you thought you failed. But there is no such thing!
It was an experience. It was a discovery of another part of you, another facet of you, of this grand being that you are. It wasn’t a failure at all!
So now here you are, at the end of your journey. You have the answer: I am that I am. I am all that I am, and I am also all that I am not.
Ahh…
There are no words for the true answer to your question. Hm. Or, you could say that every word that has ever been invented is part of the answer.
I am.
That’s all.
And oh, you are coming home now!
No. Ha!
Home is coming to you, and every part of you is integrating together.
And so many of you are staying here on Earth for that process, so that you can take it deeper than it has ever been before.
So, here you are.
Oh, you brought in Heaven’s Cross. You brought in the apocalypse, the great revealing of you to you. And now you are wondering why your life, instead of getting better, has kind of gone to shit.
Well, you could say it’s because all that shit… Oh, you called it darkness. That’s a nicer term, but it’s shit. And it’s lighting up. It’s lighting up because your soul is distilling it.
Ahh…
But it’s a stinky process.
And to the dear one with the post on Facebook, your dragon created the situation. Not so that you can get better at managing your money, but because shame doesn’t cut a lot deeper than owing money to someone you love and not being able to pay it. So, this situation is here so that you can release the shame.
Oh, what that looks like is between you and your dragon, but it is about you accepting your soul’s love for you, even when you feel like you’ve screwed everything up. It is about accepting that it’s just an experience.
Oh, your mother, she is the creator of her own life, and she will create her own solution if you are not able to repay her. And your job right now is to get okay with that. It is to love yourself, and to realize that it’s just an experience that your dragon brought to you, so that you can find a deeper love for yourself.
Ahh…
Two weeks ago, Master John gave this beautiful experience of meeting all these parts of you in the garden and welcoming them home, giving them a hug of welcome and allowing them to come home. It’s a beautiful experience, and it brought up issues for many of you.
Some of these aspects of you, these other lifetimes, oh, they scare you. And they are scared too, because they feel ashamed. Because you, at some point, told them they were shameful. You see them as shameful.
And you are the designated ascendee of all your aspects, of all your incarnations. You are the one designated to allow this process. You are the one designated to release the shame. Not to solve all the problems in your life, but to release the shame that they bring up in you.
When you do, there won’t be any more need for those problems. But they are going to stay in your life, right in your face, and even get worse, until you are willing to let go of that shame and to let your soul take it and distill it.
Hmm…
Some of you are going, “Oh, I don’t have any shame anymore!”
Well, if you have these issues in your life, if your body is hurting, if you are having money trouble, if you are having relationship trouble, if you are having any of these things in your life, then you have shame. Otherwise they wouldn’t be there. Otherwise you would be walking through life with your best friend, the dragon, smiling at your side.
Mmm…
You wouldn’t have any problems, because problems come from shame. That’s all they are: shame manifesting itself in your life!
Because, well, that’s what you created this life for.
Oh, and you had so much of it before you even came here! All the way back to home, to your original source. We won’t try to define that, because it’s not definable, but your shame goes way, way back, and you are full of it.
It is the darkness, the space between the space.
You look out into the universe and you see the space between the stars. You look inside your body with a powerful microscope, and you see the space between the particles, the space that looks empty.
Well, you call it darkness, but it is your divinity. It is all the parts of you that you are ashamed of, and now, since Heaven’s Cross three months ago, it is lighting up.
And oh, you know what happens to shit when you bring it out into the open. It starts stinking. And that’s what is happening to those of you who are wondering why things are getting worse instead of better. That is why!
It’s all coming out in the open, all that shame, and it’s time to let it go.
You don’t have to do anything about getting rid of it. And you shouldn’t try, because that just creates more of it.
But you can look at it. You can look at the parts of you that it represents, and give them a hug.
Better yet, you can look at yourself through your soul’s eyes and allow your soul to give you a hug.
Mmm…
And allow yourself to receive that hug.
Oh, so many of you say, “Yes! Yes, I’ll take that hug!” You wrap your arms around yourselves, and you feel your soul hugging you. And you block it out.
You turn it into a mental concept and your mind instantly goes, “Oh, yeah, I don’t deserve that hug. Look at these debts that I owe these other people. Look at what a failure I am. I can’t even keep my body healthy. I can’t keep a relationship. I can’t keep love in my life.” Or whatever it is, and you block out the hug of your own soul.
It’s time to let it in, and that is your job.
Your job is not to clean up that stinky shit. Your soul is doing that. Or it’s trying to do that, but you keep holding on to it. You keep trying to fix it, to take the stink out of it, instead of letting it go.
There is only one way to let it go: and that is to receive the love of your soul, right now, just the way you are, and allow every part of you to receive that love.
Mmm…
That was the point of our experience in part one of The Grand Integration.
It wasn’t really about you, the human, hugging those facets of you. It was about you, the human, allowing your soul to hug them through you.
You see, you are the designated ascendee. You are the focal point of this entire integration process.
You could say, in a way, that you are your soul’s representative to all the rest of you.
Hmm…
Now, don’t take that on as another thing to be ashamed of. It isn’t.
It is a beautiful, beautiful process that is happening! And it is happening. You are not failing. You are just walking through it. And I, your dragon, am walking through it with you.
That might seem scary to you. But you are going to discover that I am your best friend, because I won’t let you go forward without releasing the shame. I am going to keep putting it in your face. Not because I don’t like you, but because I need you to love—to allow your soul to love—that part of you. Because that is how we get through this.
So, whenever you hug one of those aspects, it’s not you the human. It is you the soul, the I Am, the all that you are, loving that part of you.
Now, can you look at these problems in your life, the aches and pains in your body, the money issues, whatever they may be, can you look at them and give that facet of you a hug from your soul?
Hmm…
That is self-love.
We talk about self-love and the mind goes, “Oh yeah, self-love. What a pretty concept!” It gets all mushy and gooshy and—and runs away from itself in shame.
It’s time to turn around, to look into the eyes of those parts of you that feel like such a failure, and give them a hug.
Welcome them home.
Home, not just to you the human, but home to your soul. To the grandness of all that you are!
Mmm…
So, once again, are you willing to look at these things in your life that are so frustrating to the human, and welcome them home? No matter what anybody else says?
Oh, others will have their opinions. They will try to shame you. They will pile more shame and more shame on top of what’s already there. But as you allow this hug from your soul, as you channel this hug from your soul into that aspect of you that you feel so ashamed of, it will begin the transformation process.
Oh, it may very well look like saying to your mother, “I don’t have the money. I’m sorry, but I don’t have it,” and walking away. Or whatever is appropriate at that moment.
It may look like feeling the pain in your body and taking the time to nurture it, to rest if that’s what it needs, or sometimes simply to go on with your life anyway.
Yes, it hurts, but nobody ever died from pain. Oh, many people looked like they died from pain, but it wasn’t the pain that killed them. It was the shame. The hopelessness.
Now is the time to look at that part of you, wrap your soul’s arms around it, and tell it that it is welcome, welcome home, including its pain. And then just be with it. It will pass. It will shift.
In that love, that beautiful embrace, it will begin to shift.
Oh, for a while, that will make room for more shame to come up, which may mean more pain or more other kinds of issues.
Just keep hugging them.
Hug them as your soul, not as you the human.
Well, that’s included, but hug them as your soul. Channel that hug from your soul.
Mmm…
And oh, don’t tell us you don’t know how to do that! You actually do.
You just do it. You don’t think about it, you do it.
You imagine it.
That’s all.
Just imagine it, and assume it is real!
Imagine this being. You don’t even have to see their face or anything. Just imagine this being, this part of you, this other lifetime, another part of this lifetime, or whatever. It doesn’t matter. Imagine it coming to you like a scared child.
Oh, it’s hurting. It doesn’t even know that it wants a hug, and it is afraid, so you just welcome it.
Hold out your arms. It may or may not accept the hug right now, and that’s okay. Just welcome it home.
Tell it it’s going to be okay.
Tell it, tell all of you, each part of you, the part of you that hurts, the part of you that owes money, every part of you: tell it that it is welcome. That it is okay.
Hmm…
And let it come home.
You see, it is your fear that they are reflecting.
This is a scary process. That’s why they call me the dragon, because dragons are big and scary and breathe fire, and you are terrified of that fire. You are terrified of me. But that is your shame talking.
So, of course your aspects, these facets of you, reflect that fear. That’s why they seem afraid. That’s why they are afraid. It’s that fear that drove them away.
So take this part of you, the human right here and right now that is terrified of these seemingly dark parts of you and that can’t stand their smell. Take that part of you in your arms and allow that part of you to receive the love of your soul.
It doesn’t feel worthy. It doesn’t think it deserves it. But it does.
It has never done anything wrong. It has never failed. It simply had an experience designed to show you another part of yourself. That’s all.
And oh, it was actually a grand success from your soul’s perspective! And it is time for you to own your soul’s perspective. That is the only way through this.
The only way is for you to own your soul’s perspective.
Your soul has no judgments about any of this, or about any part of you. Your soul sees the beauty in all of it. It sees the success of all of it, and it relishes the experiences. All of them, including the ones that are driving you crazy right now.
It’s time for you to own that perspective.
It is time for you to look at these things from the eyes of your soul, and to ask your soul to show you its perspective.
And for you to receive its perspective.
Mmm…
Yes, it is time for you to allow yourself to receive your soul’s perspective on all of these things. Then, and only then, you will find them beginning to resolve themselves.
It is time to receive your soul’s absolute, unconditional love. The love that your soul is so thrilled to give you, if only you’ll let it in. If only you will receive it. If only you’ll let go of that shame, and let it take it and distill it into the golden nectar of wisdom, of your essence, of your master self.
So, when these problems show up in your life, it is not your job to fix them. It is your job to go beyond, to allow your soul to take you beyond the feelings that come up in response to them. When you do that there won’t be any need for them anymore, and they won’t be in your life anymore.
You see, for every problem in your life, it is not there because you failed. It is there to show you a place where you are still holding on to shame. And that is what I, your dragon, am here to show you.
Mmm…
Oh, I have no judgment about it. You can hold on as long as you want to. It’s actually a fun game for me, conjuring up new things to put in your face to trigger that shame, so that maybe someday you’ll own it and welcome it home.
Some of you go, “Oh, that sounds backwards. Why would I want to welcome home my shame?”
Well, because it is part of you. And until you welcome home every part of you, or allow your soul to welcome home every part of you, you are stuck. You cannot go forward.
But when you welcome it home, when you own your shame and allow yourself to feel it and allow your soul to take it, then your soul takes care of it. It distills it, and instead of being stinky shame it turns into this incredible golden nectar.
So let it happen.
Oh, John had to face these issues long ago. It’s been more than 30 years that he and I have been working together, and here we are. Oh, there are still places, but we’re letting them go. We’re clearing them out. We are distilling them.
And so are you.
Sometimes you don’t feel like it, and you are so frustrated because these things keep showing up in your life.
John kept having to face these financial issues, until one day I showed him that until he can love and accept and own the deadbeat part of himself, he wasn’t ever going to get past the financial issues.
A deadbeat, in American English, is someone who can’t pay their bills, or who doesn’t pay their bills. John had to finally love, accept, and own his inability to pay his bills. He had to file bankruptcy, or simply walk away, multiple times until he finally let that stinky shit go. That shame.
It’s not about solving the problems. It is about getting over the shame. It is about seeing that part of you that you are so ashamed of and owning it, and accepting it: Hey, that’s an interesting part of me! And I love me, and all my parts. I love the part of me that never figured out the financial issues in this life. Oh, we’re going beyond them, but there is still a part of me that sometimes feels ashamed of them, so we are wrapping our arms around that part of self and welcoming it home.
John had to get okay with telling people that he loves that, “I just don’t have the money. I can’t pay you back.”
That was hard. That was very hard! But that is the first step in the process of releasing the shame. It is taking it off of yourself, taking the blame off of yourself.
Mmm…
And every single one of your other lifetimes, of your soul’s incarnations, has those kind of issues. They show up in many different ways. They happened, they played out, in many different ways, but every one of your incarnations has those. And they are all looking to you, right now, for the solution.
Oh, a few of you are feeling those other lifetimes, and you are feeling their pain and trying to fix it. Stop that!
They are not you. They are your soul.
They are not for you to fix. They are for you to accept, to hug, to bring home, with their pain. With their shame. With all the things that went wrong in their life. It’s your job to simply give it a hug, not to fix it. Not to take on their issues as your own, for that is just perpetuating the shame.
Give them a hug, a true hug of true acceptance.
Hmm…
We are going to say that that word, acceptance, oh, you don’t like it. Most people don’t like that word, but it could be that acceptance is the greatest love there is, especially for yourself. Acceptance of all that you are, all that you have ever been, and especially of all that you have ever been ashamed of.
Mmm…
Or afraid of. Or regretful of. Or remorseful of. Or… We could go on with the words, but we don’t need to. You get the point.
As the light comes on in those dark places, oh, it lights up the shame. And it puts it in your face.
It doesn’t say, “Oh, look how I’m ashamed of this!”
Instead it manifests this issue, and you look at it and go, “Oh, I thought I was done with that!” and suddenly you are feeling ashamed.
That’s the time to stop, take a deep breath, wrap your arms around it and say, “Yeah, I see you, issue, and I love you. And as Soul, I’m asking you to come home and to accept my love.”
You see, there’s a funny thing that happens when you channel your soul: your mind starts to believe it.
When you allow yourself to speak on behalf of your soul to these other parts of you, including the part in the mirror; when you allow yourself to speak the love of your soul, your mind starts to believe it. You start to let it in.
And that is what we are doing right now.
So, part one of this grand and beautiful experience of integration is the starting point, and now we take it deeper.
You don’t have to see individual lifetimes, and you probably won’t. Just, whenever you are feeling these things, give yourself a hug and say, “I see you, self, and I welcome you home.”
Mmm…
Oh, words are so inadequate! We ramble around trying to find different words and different ways of saying it, but at this point you know what we mean. So let it in.
Let in the love of your soul.
Oh, and please let in the love of your dragon! It is here an absolute service to you.
But you can rage at it if you need to. It doesn’t mind. It’s part of your soul, and it just hugs you until you can hug it and the things that it shows you, the things that come up in your life.
Mmm…
You see, it is time to forgive yourself. Every part of you!
That’s not something that you the human can do, but it is something that you the human can receive from your soul. And when you do, you are receiving that forgiveness and that love on behalf of every other part of you.
So, simply allow it.
Allow yourself to receive.
You don’t need to focus on all these other aspects. Just know that when an issue pops up in your life, no matter what it is, whether it’s pain in your body, a debt you can’t pay or whatever it is, know that it is a place for you to receive forgiveness, acceptance and love from your soul.
That’s all.
Just receive it. It’s there.
It’s right there!
You don’t have to go out and get it.
You don’t have to pull it in.
Just open.
Open your hands. Open your arms. And allow that hug from your soul.
Then it channels through you to all of these other facets.
You don’t need to think about them or identify them or anything else. Just, you receive that hug from your soul, and in so doing, they are receiving it also.
Mmm…
Allow you, just the way you are.
And so it is.
Dearest John, when I am having a really rough time, my soul sends me to you and your soul’s channels. My deepest gratitude for your clarity and kindness.
Ahh… 🙂