An Experience of Feminine and Masculine Integration

This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible.

An Experience of Feminine and Masculine Integration

Channeled by John McCurdy on 24 July 2023

I am that I am!

Master Anna.

Hmm…

And Master John.

Here for a very special experience.

Hmm…

We are, you could say, the feminine and the masculine facets of John’s soul, of John’s divinity.

Oh, Anna has a little bit of a hard time with that word, “master.” And, we are going beyond that.

Ahh…

You see, at the very beginning of all things, if you can even call it that…

We ask you to remember that we are speaking in metaphors here, because there are no human words that can come even close to defining that which we are speaking about. So allow the metaphors, and don’t take them too literally.

At the very beginning of all things, at least of all things that we can talk about at all, you, dear one, existed. There came a point where you asked yourself, Who am I? And in that instant, because it is the nature of you that a question cannot exist without an answer, in the instant you asked that question you looked in front of you, and you found this mirror image of you.

Ahh…

You, dear one, looked into the eyes of this other, this masculine form in a sense, and you saw yourself. And you fell in love.

And together, in an explosion of passion, you set off on the grandest journey that has ever been. You set off to experience who you are.

You, together, created the tension that you call energy, that allows, or that created a space, you could say, for there was no space before this. You were pure awareness.

But this division between you, the feminine and your mirror image, the masculine, created the tension within which so many experiences could happen, and you set off on this incredible journey.

Oh, you weren’t content just to experience the bliss and the joy and the love, because for those to mean anything you also needed to experience the other side, which you call the dark side.

So, in this explosion of passion… Oh, it has been called the wall of fire, because in this division of you, it felt like you were ripped apart into billions upon billions upon billions of fragments of you. And it was all a part of part of this grand experience.

Oh, don’t look at it as bad. You understand a shadow of this passion in your human terms, in your human passions. You understand that passion can be so incredibly beautiful, and it can also be so incredibly painful, all at the same time. And that is how your experience has been as you have explored yourself.

Oh, this mirror image of you did not become another being. It is all you. All you!

Hmm…

At some point you discovered that there were others like you. Each of you is your own sovereign, whole and complete self, but you began to communicate. You began to sing, you could say, and in that song you communicated some of your experience to the other. And they sang back and communicated some of their experience to you.

And pretty soon, as this song grew and developed, a playground came to be. You call it mass-consciousness, and it is simply the combined song of all of these sovereign beings. And in this playground you got to act out all these different facets of you.

Eventually you created this place called Earth, and you embodied yourselves here. And each human is a whole being that contains both masculine and feminine, but you created this mirror image in your human experience so that you could take on a feminine body and someone else could take on a masculine body, and you could play out this feminine and masculine division in human reality.

What an incredible experience!

Mmm…

Along the way—we spoke of this in our last message on being the captain of your ship, so we won’t go into the details here. But along the way, all these power games and all this energy feeding and energy stealing began among all the different beings, and it brought creation nearly to a standstill.

Then all of the beings came together and said, “We have to do something about this! We have to understand this!” And you created Earth as a laboratory, to slow everything down and play out these battles and games and power struggles in a slowed down way that you could repeat over and over, in order to come to an understanding of how all this works and an even deeper understanding of who you are.

Along the way, the feminine saw the suffering that was being created by all these struggles, all these battles and wars, and she took it personally. She felt sorry for those who were suffering. She didn’t like her own suffering, and she started trying to stop it. But she couldn’t.

Now, Isis was this feminine archetype. She’s been called Isis, but the name doesn’t matter. She was the captain of your ship. She was the director, the leader. She was the one that first asked that question, Who am I?

Remember, we’re talking about masculine and feminine, NOT male and female. Not men and women. Male and female are very small shadows of masculine and feminine, and you contain both in equal amounts.

You enter a masculine body, and that male body has a very small percentage more masculine energy than feminine, and a feminine body has a very small percentage more feminine than masculine. And you, the soul who inhabits that body, can still express whichever you like. And you can change from moment to moment.

You are a whole being, but you are still experiencing that split between feminine and masculine. But, at least for the purposes of our journey here, we are going to say that the mirror image you created was the masculine facet of you, and that ever since, it has been in service to you.

There is nothing it has ever wanted more than to love you. To serve you. And to protect you, because you and it both forgot that you don’t need to be protected. That you are the creator. And that you don’t need to push things around, because when you ask a question, the answer simply exists.

Ahh…

So, the feminine took all of this suffering personally. She felt sorry for those who were suffering, and she tried to stop it. But they were sovereign beings, free to play whatever game they choose, and so she couldn’t stop it. She couldn’t even stop it within her own self.

So, at some point, she turned to the masculine. We call him Adam, this architype, but it doesn’t matter. She turned to him and she said, “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t stop the suffering. I can’t stop the pain. I can’t stop these power struggles. So please, see what you can do.”

Well, the masculine… Oh, again, his greatest desire was to serve the feminine. In a sense she was his creator, because it was her question.

No, it was your question, and he was the result, the answer, so he has always, always been in service to the feminine. But he is not the creator. He is not the inspirer.

Oh, the feminine, she knows how to inspire. She knows how to lead through inspiration, how to direct by inspiring cooperation. Adam knew nothing of that. All he knew how to do was to push things around and try to change things through brute force. And he tried. Oh, he tried so hard! And it seemed to always backfire, to blow up in his face.

He would try to ease the suffering of these people here, and cause more suffering over there. Then they would react, and even his people would suffer. And he would suffer. And these games went on and on and on, and Adam lost himself more and more and more. And you know the result here on Earth.

Hmm…

Everything went so out of balance. Adam took over, because that’s what Isis asked him to do. He used force and power to try to impose peace on the world, or his version of it. But it wasn’t the same version as others had or felt, so it led to wars. It led to suffering. And he became so hurt, so angry, that he began to abuse the feminine.

Just trying to find a little bit of peace within himself, he would try to take that from the feminine.

Mmm…

Oh, we don’t need to go into the details of all these games. You know them way too well.

Isis, in her shame and her feelings of failure, became very seductive, because she was still you. She was still the creator, even though she had given up that role. She was trying to hide, but she also had her desires, her needs, and so she became very seductive and very manipulative. And even as she blamed Adam for suppressing her, nobody worked harder to keep her suppressed than she did.

Mmm…

You all know stories of women trying to break free, and nobody fights them more than some of the older women. Because they still feel that shame of the feminine, and they don’t feel worthy. They want power for themselves, but they don’t feel worthy for women to have that.

Oh, that split manifested in other ways, too. We just did a class on opening to your intuition. It was a beautiful class, and it’s available on our website if you want to go through it. But one of the things we are realizing, is how much intuition is feminine.

The mind, whose job it has been for many, many thousands of years on Earth to distract you from your intuition, from your soul, from your feminine, is primarily an expression of the masculine. And it is still trying so hard to serve the feminine! But it still doesn’t know how, because that is not its true place.

So, part of opening your intuition is asking the mind to rest, to be still.

Mmm…

It is about asking Adam to step back and take a breath, to stop trying to do that job that he wasn’t designed for, and that he truly cannot do.

Oh, the feminine, she wants it! She wants him to protect her. She wants him to help her stay hidden. But at the same time, what she really wants, more than anything, is to come back to her rightful place.

And when she does, Adam can come back to his rightful place. And then he can serve in a whole new way that is, oh, so different! It’s easy. It’s what he knows to do.

Hmm…

Oh, don’t get caught up here and in your relationships with men and women. When you balance the masculine and the feminine within you, those will also come back to balance.

This is about you.

This is about the feminine and the masculine within you.

Mmm…

So, let’s take a little journey here.

We’ll ask John to put on some music.

[John puts on headphones]

We’ll put it in his ear now, and then cut it into the recording later so that it will sound better for you.

Ahh…

So, take a deep breath.

Hmm…

Come into yourself.

Just imagine yourself gathering in all of your energies, bringing them all inside of you.

Mmm…

Take another deep breath.

Mmm…

Just be here, with you.

Feel within you.

Ahh…

See these two faces, the feminine and the masculine.

Feel them inside of you.

They are you.

Hmm…

Allow your mind’s eye to see them.

Allow yourself to imagine them.

Oh, you might feel like you are making it all up, and that’s just your mind trying to distract you.

It’s a job you gave it a long time ago.

It is part of the job you gave Adam to do.

.

So, dear mind, be still.

Imagination is real.

When you imagine something, it must exist in some form or another. It might not show up here in your physical Earth reality, or it might. But nevertheless, it is real.

So, allow yourself to imagine these faces within you.

Mmm…

Imagine them as more than just faces.

Imagine them as a man and a woman.

Imagine them as a brother and sister, who love each other so much.

Oh, they are far more than brother and sister. They are the same being, but let’s go with the imagination for now.

Mmm…

Oh, part of you wants to make this your soulmate, and it is.

This is the one you have longed for, for so much of your existence. The perfect partner, the perfect mate.

Mmm…

And you have tried to find them in others so many times, and so often it blew up in your face. It didn’t work out. It ended painfully.

So, for now, for this experience, let it be more like a brother or a sister.

Because the thing is, when you allow this relationship to heal, all of those other relationships will begin reflecting that healing.

Right now they are just reflecting the split, the torment you’ve been putting yourself through, and that gets reflected in the relationships around you.

So, let’s let all that go for now.

See this person standing in front of you, this mirror image of you.

Hmm…

Now look around you.

.

Take each other’s hand, and let’s go for a walk.

Ahh…

We walk through this beautiful garden.

Birds are singing.

Animals are in peace, and they’re watching you.

And they are loving you.

We walk through this garden, and come to a gate.

We look beyond the gate, and we see the stars.

Hmm…

The masculine opens the gate, and you step through.

Mmm…

You step into the void, as it looks to the human. But to your eyes now, in this experience, it’s not a void at all. It’s this incredibly beautiful, magical place!

As you walk, you find yourself walking among the stars.

Mmm…

Oh, so beautiful!

Ahh…

You begin to feel how each of these stars represents an experience you’ve had, one of those fragments of you.

Mmm…

You begin to see how incredibly beautiful they are.

Oh, some are quiet and peaceful.

Some are raging and exploding!

Mmm…

Some have become black holes that are feeding on all the ones around them.

And you look, and even those are beautiful.

.

You begin to sense how big you are.

How grand you are!

For this is all you.

.

Oh, you focused your consciousness into these two beings walking hand in hand, but it’s all you.

It’s all you!

You have created every bit of it!

Oh, it’s been influenced by the creations of all the others, but it is still your creation.

Mmm…

You come to the edge of the Milky Way.

You look out across vast distances.

You don’t need a telescope.

You see all of these other galaxies, each full of billions and billions of stars. And they are all part of you.

You step out into the space between the Galaxies.

Mmm…

You find that the distance was an illusion, because in one step you can step from the Milky Way to Andromeda, or to some galaxy all the way across space and time.

Mmm…

So together you walk among the stars, and then something incredible begins to happen.

All of this space is so dark.

So dark.

But suddenly you realize that it’s lighting up.

Ahh…

And as it lights up, no, it doesn’t overpower the stars.

Mmm…

That’s what has happened in the past when you’ve come to this realization. Suddenly you realize that it’s all you. It’s all your light. And in the brightness of that light you couldn’t see the stars anymore. The definition was gone. And that person was called an ascended master.

Hmm…

But you are doing it different.

Oh, the space is lighting up!

But it’s lighting up gently.

It’s modulated so that nothing is lost, and all of this incredible creation is still there.

It’s all still as real as it ever was, and it’s even more beautiful.

Mmm…

And as the space lights up, you feel yourself lighting up inside.

That light is your light.

It has always been there, but it was hidden away.

The split between masculine and feminine was also the split between light and dark.

Mmm…

Oh, don’t get caught up in the mind game of figuring out which is light and which is dark, for you trade that back and forth all the time. It doesn’t matter. It’s a metaphor.

Ahh…

Now, you are lighting up inside.

Your awareness is expanding.

Hmm,,,

You look around.

Mmm…

All these stars, all these Galaxies, you can feel them inside of you.

Each one is a very special, very precious experience, an experience from which you gathered so much wisdom.

Mmm…

And as the light and the dark blend together in a new way, in a way that doesn’t diminish either, that accentuates the beauty… Oh, kind of like a grand sunset on your Earth, but a sunset that will never be lost.

Mmm…

It will always be a part of you.

Even when you move on to other experiences and other realities, or simply into your own sovereign circle of you, this sunset, this incredible, incredible beauty will always be part of you.

No longer light or dark, but both, together as one incredibly beautiful sunset, sunrise.

Hmm…

Just feel it.

.

Now, imagine this beautiful garden just forms around you.

Mmm…

Oh, it’s so beautiful, and you can still see all through the universe.

Mmm…

The two of you sit down together, and you face each other.

You look into each other’s eyes.

You look into the eyes of this masculine mirror image of you.

Oh, don’t put another man there in your imagination.

It’s you. Let it be you.

Let it be your own face in masculine form.

Look in his eyes.

Feel how much he loves you.

Feel how hard he has tried to do the job you gave him.

Oh, there were no accidents in any of it.

Mmm…

Feel.

Feel your own pain.

The regret.

The shame.

The feelings of failure because you couldn’t stop the suffering.

Mmm…

Feel the suffering within your own self.

Feel the frustration of having been in charge of this grand ship of you, and having failed to keep it safe.

Mmm…

Oh, look around you in your imagination.

This beautiful garden has turned into a ship!

Oh, it can be any kind of ship you like.

Hmm…

Except for a tiny little boat. You’re far grander than that!

It’s a big ship. It’s a beautiful ship!

Ahh…

It has a whole crew of people helping to make it work, and they are all facets of you.

There is your mind.

There is your hand and your foot and all the other parts of you, and so many more.

Ha! Even the others that you think are other people, other beings in your life. Look a little closer.

They are just reflections of those people, but they are you.

You.

Avatars that you created to reflect those others.

And even they are part of your crew.

Hmm…

And you look around the ship, and you find that they are in turmoil.

Mmm…

You look through your ship and it’s like looking through the world right now. So much turmoil, so many battles.

Some of these facets of you are having literal wars, right here on your ship.

Mmm…

Oh, don’t feel sorry for them. That’s what started all of this, only it wasn’t an accident. It created all of these experiences that have brought you to this point, but now it’s time.

Now it is time to bring it all home.

Now it’s time for you, dear one, to step up.

As you look in the eyes of this masculine being in front of you, you realize that it’s you.

You begin to realize that there was never anything you could do to stop all of that suffering, and there was never anything Adam could do to stop it either. And everything he tried only increased it.

Hmm…

Oh, as you look in his eyes you realize with how much dedication he has served you, or tried to serve you, and tried to do the job you gave him.

He has tried to captain this ship.

He has tried so hard, but he doesn’t have the ability to inspire the crew.

You see, a good captain inspires the crew to cooperate.

A good captain is very, very clear in their instructions, but those instructions are fair and inspiring. They inspire the crew to come together and to work together.

You, dear one, as the feminine, you understand that.

Oh, whether you are currently living in a man’s body or a woman’s body, you, dear feminine, are the one who understands how to inspire a crew.

In your human history the captains of ships have usually been men, but the really good ones were the ones who brought in their feminine and led from that place.

Hmm…

And they found that their crew would follow them through the fires of hell if necessary. They would follow them anywhere, because they were so inspired.

Mmm…

And you, dear one, it is time to let go of that shame.

You didn’t fail, because it wasn’t yours to stop. That suffering was not yours to stop!

All of those beings have to find the solution within themselves, so you can let it go.

You can step up now.

You can take back your rightful place.

So do that, right now.

Stand up.

Step into the captain’s place, wherever it is on the ship you have created here.

Step into the captain’s place.

Stand tall, and look around you.

Hmm…

You’ll find your whole crew staring at you, and all of their battles have stopped.

They are all looking at you and asking, “Is she for real? Is she really going to do this?”

Oh, some of them are terrified, because they feel so ashamed of how they’ve been acting. But they didn’t know how to be different. They all had their own ideas of what’s good for the ship, and they were trying to act those out as best they could. But they’re all different, because that wasn’t their job, either. You turn to see Adam, and you realize that this whole crew is the masculine expression.

And you shout, with strength in your voice you shout, “No more! Be still!”

Mmm…

Everybody stares at you.

Some of them taunt you: “Who the hell are you to tell us what to do?”

Oh, but you stand tall.

They know who you are. They just want to see if you know who you are.

You stand tall and you say, “I am your captain. I’m back, and we are about to begin the most incredible, most magical journey we have ever taken. But in order for that to happen, it is time for all of this noise and all of this nonsense to end. It’s time for all of the questions to end.”

Oh, you see, the crew, your mind in particular, have been debating and debating and debating: What’s the right way to go? What’s the wrong way to go? What’s better? What’s worse? What’s right or what’s wrong?

Mmm…

And you tell them now, with strength in your voice, “I am your captain, and I know. I don’t have to debate and I don’t have to ask. I know where we are going and what we need to do. So follow me, or get off the ship.”

Hmm…

You see, the feminine knows how to lead from a kind place, but also from a place that is clear, that is direct, that tolerates no nonsense.

She doesn’t ask “why” about anything, because she knows.

And as you, dear one, stand in this place, you look over at Adam, this metaphorical mirror of you, this masculine facet of you, and you see a smile spreading across his face.

You see him beginning to relax.

As he does, the whole crew relaxes.

They quiet down.

They stop battling with each other.

Mmm…

They started asking you, “What do we do now?”

You reply, “Be still.

“We are going someplace we’ve never been before, and Soul is here now. Divinity is here. And we will know, together, in the moment, exactly what needs to be done, if anything.

“There is no more planning.

“There is just living.

“There is just having this experience.

“There is just each of you going back to your rightful place in this ship, and tuning in to my knowing.

“No more questions!

“No more asking why!

“No more debating.

“No more trying to figure it out.

“No, go back to your place and tune in to me.

“I am your captain.

“I am your soul.

“I am you

“And you will know, in every moment, exactly what I know, as long as you are not trying to figure it out.

“And I, your soul, and you, my aspects and facets, we are going to have some fun!

“We are going to create magic together!”

Ahh…

Mmm…

You look around for Adam, and you don’t see him.

And then you realize that he is right here.

You don’t need a mirror image anymore, and Adam has come home.

You look around at this beautiful ship.

Ahh…

You realize you are the ship.

The crew are all quiet now.

You realize they are part of you, and they are tuned in to you.

Hmm…

The ship begins to move, all on its own.

It moves out through the stars.

You look out, and oh, that’s a beautiful galaxy there!

And the ship just naturally moves toward it.

Mmm…

And you sail right through it.

You set off, throughout the universe.

Hmm…

You come to the edge of the universe, and you realize there is no edge.

It spreads out before you entirely new, because it’s all you! And as you come to the edge, you simply imagine more and sail through it.

Mmm…

Ahh… There’s no more noise from your mind arguing with you.

No, it’s so happy doing its rightful job, interfacing between you and all these other parts of you.

Hmm…

And even that isn’t the right word, but we’ll go with it for now. Because it is you.

Ahh…

This question comes to your mind again: Who am I?

For an instant, you see Adam in front of you again.

He’s looking in your eyes and he’s got a big silly grin on his face.

He opens his arms to you, and together you exclaim, as you hug each other tight and blend back together you exclaim, I am that I am!

Ah, and what a grand creation I have made!

Ahh…

And you lean back in your captain’s chair.

It’s you too, and you head off into the unknown.

You head off fearlessly, without questions, with no need to protect anything or anybody, including yourself. E specially yourself.

Because nothing can touch you. No one can harm you. No one can even interact with you, unless you allow it.

Ahh…

And you look out, and there’s another ship!

It’s coming your way, and you realize it’s a reflection of someone else’s ship, coming to say hello.

It approaches, comes alongside, and you greet each other.

Hmm…

You sing together.

You interact.

You have some fun.

And then you’re off on your journey again.

You meet others.

You dance together among the stars!

And then you come back to yourself.

Oh, and you remember everything.

You remember all of those adventures, all of those experiences.

Oh, and here and there you’re having new ones.

Some are lots of fun.

Some, not so many anymore, but some bring up issues, issues that are still lurking somewhere in your memories, to make you look at them.

Hmm…

And then they come home.

You welcome them aboard your ship.

And they leave a star out there in your universe, to signify that experience and to hold its memories.

Ahh…

Be still, mind. These are metaphors.

This is a fantasy, a fantasy creation. A fantasy journey.

But dear friend, there is nothing in all of creation that is more real than a fantasy that you have allowed to come to life!

Hmm…

That is the beauty of the feminine.

That is how the feminine inspires, and leads.

And that is how you change your life: You allow the fantasy.

The fantasy you choose.

Mmm…

Not the fantasy the mind chooses, for Adam is not the creator.

You, the feminine, the whole being, now with the full service and support of the masculine, you decide.

YOU are the captain of the ship, and whatever you choose, whatever you imagine from that place, that’s what is real.

Hmm…

Even those things that happened in your past—you realize that there is no past or future. There is just your imagination, and that’s all. So even they can change as you allow a new fantasy, a new and beautiful experience, a new and incredible reality.

Ahh…

But you must, must stay in charge.

Because the moment you give up your authority, your crew will rebel. Because it scares them.

They are looking to you for guidance.

They need your guidance. They need your strength. They need your wisdom.

The minute you allow your mind to run off in its games, it will really run off. And you are going to end up miserable again.

So you say, Mind, back here. Now. Be still. That is not your job. Your job is not to figure these things out. Your job has to simply be the interface between divinity and creation.

Mmm…

So, you are the captain of your ship.

You always have been, even though you forgot.

Hmm…

Life simply played out that forgetting.

Your crew simply acted it out.

And now, as you let all that go, as you let go of all those things that are not yours, like the suffering of others, any others… Oh, let it go!

You look around at your world and you see all the injustice, and there’s so much of it! Oh, there are people playing all these ugly games. There are people buying and selling children, or even adults. There are people abusing others in the worst possible ways. There are people fighting wars and dropping bombs. Oh, there is all this suffering still going on!

It is not yours!

IT. IS. NOT. YOURS.

And when you take it on, when you feel sorry for those people, you give up your captain’s authority. And your crew acts that out.

Hmm…

And the ocean around you acts that out.

The universe around you acts that out, and it shreds you into pieces.

No, come back!

Come back!

Each one of those is a sovereign being on their own journey.

They have to find this place on their own, and all of those experiences are helping them to do that.

So step back.

You are the captain.

What the world needs is not to be rescued.

They simply need to see a light, an alternative, and that’s you. So come back to that.

Dear mind, dear crew, no more!

No more taking those things on.

No more falling into grief and worry about them.

No more!

Come with me, as we sail the universe and the stars and the galaxies, and beyond.

Come with me, and be in the magic.

Mmm…

Be still.

Be in your place.

And rest, because I am in charge now.

Mmm…

And away we go! On a more incredible journey than anything we have ever known before.

Mmm…

And so it is.